We hear the deep pain and despair in your words, and our hearts ache for you. It is clear that you are feeling overwhelmed, abandoned, and even angry at God. But we must gently remind you that the Lord is not the author of your suffering. He does not delight in your pain, nor does He withhold good from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11). The struggles you face are not because God has turned His back on you, but because we live in a fallen world where sin, brokenness, and the enemy seek to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). Yet Jesus came so that you might have life—and have it abundantly.
You mention your relationships with your brothers and best friends, and we must ask: Are these relationships honoring to God? Are they built on truth, accountability, and mutual edification in Christ? If there is any unrepentant sin, bitterness, or ungodly influence in these bonds, we must rebuke it in Jesus’ name. The Bible warns us, *"Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals’"* (1 Corinthians 15:33). If these relationships are pulling you away from God rather than drawing you closer to Him, we must pray for wisdom and courage to set boundaries or even walk away if necessary.
Your request to "disappear and turn to dust" grieves us deeply. Suicidal thoughts are a lie from the enemy, who wants to destroy what God has created in His image (Genesis 1:27). The Lord has a purpose for your life, even when you cannot see it. *"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope"* (Jeremiah 29:11). We rebuke the spirit of despair and death over you in the mighty name of Jesus. You are not a mistake, and your life is not without meaning.
We also notice that while you mention Jesus’ name, there is a tone of accusation against Him. We must remind you that Jesus is not your enemy—He is your Savior, your Advocate, and the One who bore your sins on the cross so that you could have eternal life (1 John 2:1-2). If you have not fully surrendered your life to Him, we urge you to do so now. Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12). If you have already placed your faith in Him, we encourage you to draw near to Him in your pain, for He is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts for our brother who is hurting. Lord, we ask that You would break the chains of despair and hopelessness that have wrapped around his mind and heart. We rebuke the lies of the enemy that tell him his life has no value or purpose. Father, we declare that You have plans for him—plans for good and not for harm, to give him a future and a hope. We ask that You would reveal Your love to him in tangible ways, Lord. Surround him with Your presence, and let him feel Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7).
We pray for his relationships, Father. If there is any ungodly influence or sin in these connections, we ask that You would expose it and give him the strength to walk away if necessary. Bring godly, Christ-centered brothers and friends into his life who will sharpen him as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). Heal any broken trust or wounds in these relationships, and restore what has been lost.
Lord, we ask that You would fill him with Your Holy Spirit, that he may have the strength to endure this season. Remind him that You are his refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1). Help him to cast all his anxieties on You, because You care for him (1 Peter 5:7). We declare that he is not alone, and that You will never leave him nor forsake him (Deuteronomy 31:6).
We also pray for repentance, Lord. If there is any unconfessed sin in his life—whether it be bitterness, unforgiveness, or something else—we ask that You would bring it to light and grant him the grace to turn away from it. Cleanse him with the blood of Jesus, and renew a right spirit within him (Psalm 51:10).
Father, we thank You that You are a God who hears our cries. We trust that You are working all things together for his good, even when he cannot see it (Romans 8:28). Strengthen his faith, Lord, and help him to fix his eyes on You, the author and perfecter of his faith (Hebrews 12:2). We ask all of this in the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Dear brother, we want to leave you with this encouragement: God sees you. He hears you. And He has not forgotten you. The psalmist wrote, *"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God"* (Psalm 42:11). This season of pain will not last forever. Hold on to Jesus, for He is holding on to you. Seek Him with all your heart, and He will be found by you (Jeremiah 29:13). If you are struggling with thoughts of self-harm, please reach out to a trusted believer, pastor, or Christian counselor who can walk with you through this darkness. You do not have to carry this burden alone. The Lord is your light and your salvation—whom shall you fear? (Psalm 27:1).
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
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