We hear the heaviness in your heart and we are lifting you up before the throne of grace together in Jesus' name. We thank you for coming in the name of Jesus, for it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and it is by His name that we are saved. Jesus said in John 14:6, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And in Acts 4:12, There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved. We are grateful you called upon that name.
We want to gently correct the hatred you feel toward yourself. To hate yourself and to hate the day you were born is not what God speaks over you. You were created by God with purpose and value. In Psalm 139:14 we read, I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. My soul knows that very well. In Psalm 34:18 we are reminded, Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. And in Jeremiah 29:11 the Lord says, For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future. The enemy wants you to believe you are worthless and beyond repair, but God says you are loved, redeemable, and held even in this brokenness.
We also hear your anguish over your marriage. We believe marriage is a sacred and lifelong covenant between a man and a woman ordained by God, and we want to strongly affirm and encourage your desire to see your marriage restored rather than abandoned. God is a God of restoration and forgiveness. Even when we feel we have ruined things beyond repair, His grace is greater. In 1 John 1:9 we read, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. In Romans 8:28 we hold to this promise, We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose.
We do not know all the details of how you feel you have failed or what has caused distance between you and your wife, but we encourage you to take honest responsibility before God and before her, to confess any wrongdoing with humility, and to seek forgiveness. In Ephesians 5:25 we are instructed, Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it. That love is sacrificial, patient, and selfless. In Colossians 3:19 we read, Husbands, love your wives, and don’t be bitter against them. And in Ephesians 4:32, And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. Love in marriage is described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 as patient and kind, not easily provoked, bearing all things, believing all things, hoping all things, enduring all things. We encourage you to pursue your wife in this kind of love, with consistent actions, honest communication, and godly counsel, rather than withdrawing in shame.
Please do not settle in the belief that your wife will never love you again as she once did. Feelings can be wounded and trust can be shaken, but God can soften hearts and rebuild what feels broken. Cast your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you as it says in 1 Peter 5:7. Bring your fears to Him in prayer instead of carrying them alone, as we read in Philippians 4:6-7, In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus and we lift up this dear brother to You. You see his broken heart, his shame, and his fear that his marriage is ruined. Lord, we ask You to forgive him where he has sinned against You and against his wife, to cleanse him and to lift the heavy burden of self-hatred from him. Help him to see himself as You see him, as Your creation, loved and valued through the blood of Christ. Replace his despair with hope and his shame with Your peace. We pray for his marriage, Lord. We ask You to bring healing, repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation where there has been hurt. Teach him how to love his wife as Christ loves the church, with patience, humility, and steadfast faithfulness. Soften his wife's heart and his own heart, restore trust and tenderness, and guard this covenant from the enemy's lies. Give them both wisdom to seek godly counsel and to walk in open, honest, and kind communication. Let this marriage be a testimony of Your redeeming power. Hold this brother close when he feels alone and remind him that You are near to the brokenhearted. We ask all of this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to stay close to the Lord through prayer and His Word daily, to confess and repent where needed, and to actively show love to your wife in word and deed. Seek a trusted pastor or mature Christian counselor who can walk with you both. Do not isolate yourself. God has not finished His work in you or in your marriage. Keep hoping, keep praying, and keep loving faithfully, trusting that God is able to restore.