Hungry4love357
Servant of All
I am In a rut right now. I feel so cheated. I don't even know where to begin. I'm just so angry right now that God would give someone younger and less into the word than me what I've been praying for for almost 7 years now. I want a Godly women in my life so bad that I can't even begin to describe it. All my life I have come close to my Goals but I missed the mark by just a little. Time and time again I've gotten so close to something that I could taste it, and then flop. It happened with the swim team I missed my last chance to get to the state champioships by a mere few secounds, and then a freshmen that I knew made it to state with room to spare in the same event. He got in his first year of highschool what I almost got in four years of training. I was so mad. I was so mad I quite swimming shortly after and never looked back. Now the same thing is happening again, this time with just about every goal I had in highschool. Someone I used to consider a friend has made strait A's in highschool, is graduating top in his class, and has girlfriend and is even going to a better university than me to add insult to injury. He's succeeding in everything I have been fighting for my entire life. God I know I should not covet what others have, and I know enevy is a sin, but when your giving all the things I've asked you for to someone else, It makes it so hard to praise you. I love you God. Whydo you put me though so many trials, and tribulations. I don't understand. God it hurts. I feel like the enmey his crushing me under all the peer preasure, the being left out, the not having a special girl in my life, failing in math, not even knowing if I have a futre after I graduate from collage. I need you God. I need reliefe. Come and take these burdens from me. God the eneimy is attacing me. He's saying to me< "your worthless, look at that guy, he got a date to his senor prom, you didn't even get to go, you better out dance him or he'll steal your girl too, God hates you, he won't give you anyone because you don't deserve anyone, your worthless, your weak, your just a pathetic little white boy, you will never get married, you will never be a husband or a father, how does that make you feel? Why don't you just go find a prostitute and get laid, your never going to get it any other way so why not? Your stupid, pathetic, you don't make enough money to even support yourself, how will you ever be able to have a family if you have no money. You need a good job so you can get a fancy house, a better car, more dance lessons, so you can imprees the girl of your dreams, and if you don't well God may as well give it to a guy who is rich enough to aford it. Your nothing, without money you'll never make your wife happy. God won't bless you because you don't read your Bible enough, your not outgoing enough, your not handsom enough, not smart enough, not rich, enough, and hey you don't even know what you want to do when you grow up. Just kill yourself, and end your misory now, you don't want to live alone for the rest of your life. God never even promissed you a wife. Just stop all your pain now!" I can't take this anymore God, I need you Father, Saten is attacking me, Help me! I want him to stop! He's making me misserable. God I need you NOW! I NEED YOU TO DILIVER ME FROM THE ENEMY! HE'S TELLING ME LIES AND DROWNING YOUR GOOD WORD FROM MY MIND! GOD I NEED YOU NOW! I really need you help. Got the enemy has a hold on me, and all I can do is cry out. Help me fight him God. I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life God, for your Gloriy, please prove Saten wrong. Help e to have the strength to defeate the gians of doubt standing before me. Give me a sign if you want me to contiue collage, tell me so. If you want me to stop and find a job now, open a door. If you want me to change majors, show me where to go. God please give me a special women in my life. I want a the one you picked for me, not just anyone the one you picked for me. God please, I need you. I'm pooring my heart out God. But if in all of this may your will be done, not mine. I'm not holding up well. I've got so much on my mind right now and I cannot sleep. I want to be a man of God so bad. I feel like I have fallen from his Grace. I want to surrender this to God but my faith is weak. I don't know how to surrender and mean it. I feel like I'm not going anywhere, and I've been stuck in one place for so long. I don't even know if your moving God. I can't feel you moving. God this hurts so bad, I know you know what it feels like to be despised and rejected by people you love. I do it to you every day, and I'm sorry. I beg your forgivness and I humble myself to you God. Your on the thrown. I thank you for the Grace and the patients you show me, even when I have missguided anger towars you you still love me. Even when I belatently disobey you, you cast it as far as the east is from the west. God I admit that I am envious, I admit, that I lust after woem that are not mine to behold, I admit that I covet the wives of other men. I'm wrong and I have no justification for it. I am soory God. Please forgive me, and thank you for your grace. thank you for sending your Son who died in my place. Thank you for my home, my family, my friends, and I thank you for the oppertunity to go to collage, my car, my abilities to draw and read and write, and paint and dance, and walk, and talk, and see, and pray. I know I don't say thank you enough for these things. God I know it's a lot to be thankful for because I know so many that are less luck than I. God I'm sorry I doubt you. I know you have someone out there for me, because you have already given me a sign, I just forget about it out of my impatients sometimes. God help me to remeber that sign when times get hard, so I can thank you for her. God I pray for her, and I pray that she stays strong aswell. God I pray this in the name of Your SON and MY Savior Jesus Christ Ahmen.
Please pray for this in Jesus name. for where two or three (or how about a whole army of prayer warriors) are gathered together in God's name He is with them. Please help me with your prayers as well.
"For where two or three are gathered together in my Name, there am I in the midst of them." Mathew 18:20 (KJV)
Please pray for this in Jesus name. for where two or three (or how about a whole army of prayer warriors) are gathered together in God's name He is with them. Please help me with your prayers as well.
"For where two or three are gathered together in my Name, there am I in the midst of them." Mathew 18:20 (KJV)
