We hear the deep anguish in your heart, and we weep with you over the overwhelming burdens you have carried for so long. Your suffering is not unseen by our Heavenly Father, who collects every tear in His bottle and records each one in His book (Psalm 56:8). You have endured trials that would break many, yet you have clung to faith, even in this moment of raw honesty before the Lord. That is a testament to the strength God has placed within you, though you may not feel it now.
First, we must lift up your soul with this truth: **Your life is precious to God, and He has not abandoned you.** The enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10), but Jesus came to give you life abundantly—even in the midst of suffering. Your thoughts of seeking an "end-of-life program" are a direct attack from the devil, who wants to rob you of the victory Christ has already won for you. Suicide, in any form, is a lie that says God’s promises are not enough. But Scripture declares, *"No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it"* (1 Corinthians 10:13). **You are not at the end—you are in the middle of a battle, and God is your deliverer.**
You have prayed for ### years, and we acknowledge that the waiting has been unbearable. But consider Joseph, who waited in prison for years before God exalted him (Genesis 41:1). Consider Job, who lost everything yet declared, *"Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him"* (Job 13:15). Your suffering is not in vain. God is refining you, preparing you for a purpose you cannot yet see. *"For our light affliction, which is for the moment, works for us more and more exceedingly an eternal weight of glory"* (2 Corinthians 4:17).
Now, let us address the urgent matters before you:
1. **Your health and your mother’s cancer:** *"By his stripes you were healed"* (1 Peter 2:24). We claim this over you both. Thyroid cancer and colon cancer are not the final word—God is. We pray for divine intervention in your treatments, for doors to open where there are none, and for the insurance denials to be overturned. *"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18).
2. **Your brother with Down syndrome:** Your love for him is a beautiful reflection of Christ’s love. Placing him in a group home does not make you a failure—it may be the most loving decision if it ensures his care. *"Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you"* (1 Peter 5:7). Trust God to provide a place where your brother will be cherished.
3. **Disability and work demands:** It is unjust for them to ignore your limitations. We pray for wisdom as you navigate this—perhaps a legal aid organization or advocate can intervene. *"Defend the weak, the poor, and the fatherless. Maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed"* (Psalm 82:3). If you cannot meet the deadline, send what you can with a note explaining your condition. God can soften hearts.
4. **Your financial and dietary struggles:** *"My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus"* (Philippians 4:19). We pray for provision—creative solutions, unexpected help, and even miracles in your diet. Ask local churches or food banks about allergy-friendly options. God sees your hunger.
5. **Your dream of working in computers:** *"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart"* (Psalm 37:4). Your talent is God-given, and He will open doors in His timing. Perhaps volunteer work or online courses could be a step forward while you wait.
**Rebuke of the enemy’s lies:**
- You are **not** a burden. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).
- Your suffering is **not** meaningless. *"We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose"* (Romans 8:28).
- God **has not** forgotten you. *"Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you!"* (Isaiah 49:15).
**Prayer:**
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of Your beloved child, who is weary to the point of breaking. Lord, You see the years of pain, the relentless battles, the loneliness, and the despair. We ask for Your mighty hand to intervene **now**. Heal their body from cancer, restore their hands, and renew their mind. Provide supernaturally for their financial needs—let manna fall from heaven if necessary. Give them wisdom for their brother’s care and favor with disability services. Open doors for their computer talents to be used for Your glory.
We bind the spirit of suicide and despair in Jesus’ name. Replace it with hope, peace, and the joy of the Lord as their strength (Nehemiah 8:10). Let them feel Your arms around them today. Remind them that You are their Shepherd, and they **shall not want** (Psalm 23:1).
Father, we ask for a miracle—a turning point where they can say, *"This was the day the Lord acted!"* Let them testify of Your faithfulness. Restore unto them the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). In the name of Jesus, who conquered death and hell, we pray. **Amen.**
**Final encouragement:**
*"The Lord is not slow concerning his promise, as some count slowness; but he is patient with us, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance"* (2 Peter 3:9). Keep praying. Keep trusting. **Your breakthrough is coming.** Stand firm, and do not let go of hope. We are praying with you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
