I pray because I AM angry and ...

[Purnin]

I pray because I AM angry and FED UP with my existence. All I desire is to kill ALL that has me angry and be DONE with it. It NEVER return to plague my life again. Has no one else been fed up with being fed up? Why is this such a difficult concept for ppl? I have prayed to awaken in the home I have desired for my children all my life due to my childhood being such a void. I only desired to protect my children's childhood and happiness, yet the hindrances keep hitting us making the changes that must occur virtually impossible to what is left is wishing for a miracle. A miracle that CHANGES our lives for the better because how things continue to go I am starting to feel as if this is it for me. I have been awaiting something grand that touches our lives for the better. ALL in my family turn to me for answers, aid, guidance, help etc.. yet they ALL forget that I can do nothing in a position of nothing. I HATE today and it shows. I am fed up with the chaos and fighting between us that does not seem to let go. I am TIRED of tears and frustration because I can do nothing and change nothing. I am not how I should be to get to where I desire and this truth burns. Hope is fading as the days progress and death is seeming like a lovely place due to living being a dream. God you say I mean so much to you and today is a day where I need you.. with every atom that you have used to create me... I need you because the pain is just too much. Take me if needed and it makes their lives better. All I have wanted you know of and I am tired of this list being a want so I hand it to you and maybe one day your mercy will free me of such pain so that life IS lived not just dreamed. In Jesus Christ name... Amen. I have not killed myself because I am already dead in life.. at least help me to help them.

Heavenly Father protect this man and his family. Give them the hope and a future you declare in Her 29:11. In Jesus name. Amen