We hear the deep longing in your heart for love, affirmation, and security in this relationship, and we understand the pain of feeling unappreciated or neglected. Yet as we lift this before the Lord, we must first address some foundational truths from Scripture that will shape how we pray and how you should view this situation.
First, we notice that your prayer does not invoke the name of Jesus Christ, through whom alone we have access to the Father. *"Jesus said, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me’* (John 14:6, WEB). *"There is no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved"* (Acts 4:12, WEB). Without calling on the name of Jesus, our prayers lack the authority and power that come from Him. We strongly urge you to always pray in Jesus’ name, for it is only through Him that God hears and answers.
Next, we must address the nature of your relationship. You refer to this woman as your "girlfriend," but Scripture does not recognize casual or unbiblical relationships. Instead, it calls believers to pursue *courtship with the intent of marriage*—a covenant between one man and one woman for life (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:4-6). If this relationship is not moving toward a godly, Christ-centered marriage, then it is not honoring to God. Additionally, if there is any sexual intimacy outside of marriage, this is fornication, which the Bible clearly condemns (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5). We must repent of such sin and seek purity, for *"the body is not for sexual immorality, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body"* (1 Corinthians 6:13, WEB).
Your request also reveals a heart that is focused on *your* desires—love bombing, constant affirmation, and her meeting *your* standards—rather than seeking God’s will above all. *"Delight yourself in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart"* (Psalm 37:4, WEB). But this does not mean God exists to fulfill our selfish wants; it means when we align our hearts with His, our desires change to match His will. *"Don’t be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what is the good, well-pleasing, and perfect will of God"* (Romans 12:2, WEB).
A relationship built on demanding that another person meet your emotional needs is not love—it is idolatry. True love, as defined by Scripture, *"is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails"* (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, WEB). Ask yourself: Are you demonstrating this kind of love toward her, or are you focused on what you can *get* from her?
Her behavior—being distant, secretive, and seemingly more engaged with others—may indeed be a sign of incompatibility or even unfaithfulness. But rather than demanding that God force her to change, we must pray for *wisdom* and *discernment*. *"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him"* (James 1:5, WEB). If she is not a believer, Scripture is clear: *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). A relationship with an unbeliever will only lead to heartache, compromise, and distance from God.
If she *is* a believer, then both of you must examine whether this relationship is honoring Christ. Are you both submitted to Him? Are you both seeking His kingdom first (Matthew 6:33)? Or are you both consumed with worldly expectations of romance?
Now, let us pray:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, acknowledging that You alone are sovereign over every relationship. Lord, we lift up this brother who is hurting, feeling neglected, and longing for love. Father, we ask that You search his heart and reveal any idolatry, selfishness, or unrepentant sin that may be hindering his walk with You. Convict him where he needs to change, and grant him a spirit of humility and surrender to Your will.
Lord, we pray for wisdom and clarity in this situation. If this relationship is not of You—if it is distracting him from Your purposes or leading him into compromise—then we ask that You *sever it completely*. Do not let him linger in confusion or emotional bondage. *"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. A broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise"* (Psalm 51:17, WEB). Break anything in him that is not surrendered to You.
If, however, this relationship *is* Your will and she is the wife You have prepared for him, then we ask that You *radically transform her heart*. Soften her toward him, Lord, but more importantly, draw her to Yourself. Let her love for him flow from a heart that is first devoted to You. Reveal any hidden sin, any division, any ungodly influences in her life. If she is not walking with You, Lord, do not let him be unequally yoked.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of selfishness, demand, and entitlement in his heart. Teach him to love as Christ loved—sacrificially, patiently, without demanding his own way. Help him to find his fulfillment in You alone, not in the affection of another person. *"My soul, wait in silence for God alone, for my expectation is from him"* (Psalm 62:5, WEB).
Lord, if there has been sexual sin in this relationship, we ask for forgiveness and cleansing. *"Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me"* (Psalm 51:10, WEB). Restore purity and holiness, and let neither of them be deceived by the enemy’s lies.
Finally, Father, we ask that You make Your will *undeniable*. Close doors that need to be closed, and open the ones that lead to Your perfect plan. Give him the strength to walk away if that is what You require, and give him the grace to love well if You call him to stay.
We pray all this in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who alone is worthy of our devotion. Amen.
Brother, we urge you to seek the Lord *first* in this. Fast, pray, and spend time in His Word. Ask Him to align your desires with His. If this relationship is not leading you both closer to Christ, then it is not worth pursuing. *"But seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness; and all these things will be given to you as well"* (Matthew 6:33, WEB).
If you are not already, we strongly encourage you to be part of a biblical, Christ-centered church where you can receive godly counsel and accountability. Surround yourself with mature believers who can speak truth into your life.
Lastly, examine whether your expectations are biblical or worldly. The "love bombing" and constant affirmation you desire are not the markers of a godly relationship—*faithfulness, holiness, and mutual submission to Christ* are. May the Lord grant you peace, wisdom, and the courage to obey Him, no matter the cost.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
