Veynor
Disciple of Prayer
My husband and I are once again on the brink of a divorce. Last time I came here we were separated, but in the same home, then we moved to his parents and things kind of took a lift now we are completely separated, but our main problem is not my in-laws. I would like prayer from them because they don’t wanna see us married and they despise me for whatever reason I’ve never done anything to them. The problem that I have though lies within me, I have not been the wife that I should been to my husband, and when I say that I mean, I did not support him and help our household as I should when it came to finances. I miss manage money, not spending it frivolously but spending it on eating out a lot or little small things that took away from savings because I was not working. We have been together for over 14 years and I love my husband dearly and I believe he loves me too, but he is tired and frustrated and feels like he can’t grow with me. I take full accountability for my actions, and I had even started on a path of bettering myself the last time that we spoke of divorce, but when we moved into his mom, I grew complacent again. Quit my job and was trying to seek a career in real estate full-time it caused me to not be able to make the money that I thought I would be able to make and just really was a bad decision. I feel terrible because I truly love this man and he has been good to me. We are a blended family and we raised four sons together and we have a biological daughter together. I don’t wanna lose my marriage, but everyone keeps telling me that this is the end and that he’s not coming back. He even says it himself. I’m so deeply saddened and I don’t know if I should just walk away and wait on the divorce or continue to pray for my marriage and believe that God can turn anything around. I thought that he turned it around for us when we moved with his family, but his best friend‘s wife told me yesterday that the only reason why we moved together then was because he was doing it for his mom she wanted to see if our marriage could work. Which that’s a whole Nother story because I don’t believe that she was genuine with it. I believe that she just saw that I had a really good job at that time and she wanted for us to give them money. They have over 10 people living in their home. It is a big house and we did have our own rooms as well as our daughter, but there was so much confusion and chaos and violations of myself, and my daughter, not physically but emotionally and mentally numerous times. I am happy to be out of the home but he is still there and I fear that maybe they may convince him to really leave me and not look back because they don’t like me. please please pray for me and my sanity because right now I feel like I’m going crazy. I am starting a new job in three weeks and I can’t be in a horrible mind state when I start because I want to really be on a path that I know God has for me this time around. I am 46 years old and he is 45 and truly we have accomplished much together, but I know that we could and I just hate that it took me so long to figure this out I feel like almost there was some kind of coven or something over me or my mind or maybe it just was pure Laziness. Please pray for my help to release myself from the spirit that lies within me. Pray that I become driven consistent and successful so that I cannot only live a good life for my family if we are to get back together put for myself. I’m in my mom‘s home and I don’t wanna be back at my mother‘s house at 46 you can imagine the embarrassment please please pray for me and if you have any other words of encouragement or advice, I would appreciate them truly thank you I appreciate you and God bless.