P
PrayForAll
Guest
I have struggled with sin for a very long time. Sins of all kinds, from lust, to greed, to envy. All kinds. I have done horrible things to those I love nearly all my life. A few years ago, I made an effort to stop doing these things. But my efforts were never enouph. I never put on the armor of the Lord. I never used the Lord to help me through. Every day is a struggle. Reading the bible has become important to me. It is one of the only comforts I have. Every time I feel the need to sin, I have to read, I have to pray, because I am not strong enouph to do this on my own. Over the years, I became isolated. I have stopped hanging out with people who live a life I used to. At times it was hard, because being lonly can cause one to latch on to anyone that is near, regardless of who they are. But I try and remain strong in the Lord. I have gotten better. I still struggle with lust, but even that is getting easier as I turn to God when I feel that temptation. As I have gotten older (28 now) I have become more shy, and more insecure in myself. It has made it difficult to have close relationships. But back in Novermber the Lord gave me a miricle that I wasn't even asking for. He gave me a close friend. She, much like myself had done things in her life that she regretted. Things I have never addmitted to anyone but God, I was able to talk with her about. She shares the same love for the Lord that I do. We have a true friendship, that never became intiment. It was a beautiful thing. The best part was, neither one of us were tempting the other to do things we know we shouldn't do. I mean this was a friendship that was just beauitful to me. I did however make a mistake. In a moment of insecurity, in a moment of selfishness, I had a conversation with someone where the topic became about her. I said things that I should not have said about her. She never heard it through a third party, I felt guilt about what I had said, and I told her myself the mistake I had made. She was deeply hurt by what I had said, and our friendship has not been the same. She does not trust me. She has a hard time beign around me. But she is polite when we do speak. I mean she tries. She really does. She has not acted bitter, or angry towards me at all. And that is more than I could ever do. And she says she is trying. My prayers to god are for a few things. And I ask that you who read this pray for me to. Since I made the mistake I made, things I read in Proverbs seem to just jump out. Things I've read before, but never really noticed. Discipline from the Lord is a beautiful thing. I have learned. I ask that you pray for me to continue learning lessons from the Lord. To wake up and be a better christian, man, better friend, than I was the day before. I have asked to Lord to forgive me for damaging my friendship. I know he has. But I ask that He help my friend who is hurt and hurting by what I did. I ask that the Lord comfort her. I ask that you pray for her also. I ask the Lord to restore my friendship with her, and that he place me on a course to be a better friend that I was before. I ask that you please pray for that for me to. I am very lonly right now. I've never been emotional about much, but I have spent the last week crying a lot, and the biggest thing that helps me stop crying over my friend is the Bible. To be honest, there are times when I pray that I start smiling when I ask to Lord for help, and I am reminded of scriptures of the Lords redemptive, forgiving qualities. I can't help to believe that that is the Holy spirit within me telling me the Lord will answer my prayer. That he will give me my only friend back. But I pray for patience, because we live in a fast food age where we want what we want. I know the Lord is teaching me things right now, and maybe he is teaching her things to. The Lord does his thing in his own time, not ours. So please pray that the Lord give me patience. Please pray for me Christian Brothers and Sisters. I need your help. I need my friend. But more than anything, I need the Lord Jesus Christ.
