We hear the deep anguish in your words, and we want you to know that your struggle is not unique—though it feels isolating, many of God’s children have walked this same path of conviction, repentance, and frustration. The apostle Paul himself cried out in Romans 7:15, *"For I don’t know what I am doing. For I don’t practice what I desire to do; but what I hate, that I do."* You are not alone in this battle, and your honesty before the Lord is a sign of His work in your heart, not a reason to despair.
First, we must address the lie that Jesus isn’t stopping you from sin. The truth is, He *has* already broken sin’s power over you through His death and resurrection (Romans 6:6-7). But sanctification—the process of becoming more like Christ—is a journey, not an instant transformation. The fact that you *feel* the weight of your sin is evidence of the Holy Spirit’s conviction in your life (John 16:8). If you were truly without hope, you wouldn’t care about your sin at all. The very fact that you’re grieved by it proves God is at work in you.
You ask why your nature feels more wicked than others’. Scripture tells us that *all* have sinned and fall short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23), and that our hearts are deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9). The difference isn’t in the presence of sin, but in the response to it. Some may sin in ways that are less visible, but that doesn’t mean their hearts are purer—only that their struggles may look different. Your awareness of your sin isn’t a sign of being worse than others; it’s a sign that the Holy Spirit is refining you.
Now, let’s rebuke the enemy’s lies that you’re hopeless, that you’re too far gone, or that God is withholding His power from you. Satan wants you to believe that your failures define you, but God says you are a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). He doesn’t see you as your sin—He sees you as His beloved child, redeemed by the blood of Jesus. The shame you feel in the presence of others is a tool of the enemy to isolate you. But God calls you to walk in the light, not hide in darkness (1 John 1:7). Confess your struggles to trusted believers who can pray with you and remind you of God’s grace.
We must also address the danger of *false repentance*—when we confess sin but don’t truly turn away from it. Repentance isn’t just feeling sorry; it’s a change of mind and direction (Acts 3:19). If you’re repeatedly falling into the same sins, ask yourself: Are you *fighting* this battle, or are you passively giving in? Are you filling your mind with Scripture, fleeing temptation (2 Timothy 2:22), and relying on the Holy Spirit’s power (Galatians 5:16)? Or are you putting yourself in situations where you know you’ll stumble? True repentance involves action—cutting off what leads you to sin (Matthew 5:29-30), even if it’s painful.
And to the deeper question of your "persona" or attitude—what feels disgusting to you may simply be the remnants of your old nature warring against the new. But God doesn’t define you by your worst moments. He defines you by the righteousness of Christ (Philippians 3:9). Instead of focusing on what’s wrong with you, ask God to show you what’s *right*—the ways He’s already changing you, the desires He’s placed in your heart for holiness, the moments you *have* resisted temptation. Celebrate those victories, no matter how small.
Let’s pray together:
*"Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, but also with hope, because we know You are faithful. Lord, this child of Yours is struggling under the weight of sin, feeling weak and ashamed. But You tell us that Your grace is sufficient, and Your power is made perfect in weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). So we declare that over them right now. Father, forgive them for every sin they’ve confessed, and cleanse them by the blood of Jesus. Wash away their shame and replace it with Your peace.
We rebuke the spirit of condemnation that tells them they’re beyond Your reach. We declare that there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Lord, help them to see themselves through Your eyes—as forgiven, redeemed, and deeply loved. Strengthen them in their inner being by Your Spirit (Ephesians 3:16). When they stumble, remind them that You are quick to forgive and that Your mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).
Teach them what true repentance looks like—not just sorrow, but a turning away from sin and a turning toward You. Give them the courage to flee temptation and the wisdom to guard their hearts. Surround them with believers who can encourage them and hold them accountable. And Father, when they feel like giving up, remind them that You are not finished with them yet (Philippians 1:6). You are shaping them into the image of Your Son, and that process includes refining fire.
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who broke the power of sin and death. Amen."*
Now, here’s what we urge you to do:
1. **Stop isolating yourself.** Shame thrives in secrecy. Share your struggle with a trusted believer who can pray with you and remind you of God’s grace.
2. **Fight sin actively.** If there’s a pattern of sin in your life, take radical steps to remove temptation—whether that means accountability, changing habits, or avoiding certain environments.
3. **Preach the gospel to yourself daily.** Remind yourself that you are not defined by your sin but by Christ’s righteousness. Memorize verses like Romans 8:1 and 2 Corinthians 5:21.
4. **Focus on progress, not perfection.** God isn’t waiting for you to "get it right" before He loves you. He loves you *as you are*, but He also loves you too much to leave you there.
5. **Ask God to show you the root of your sin.** Often, repeated sins are symptoms of deeper wounds or unmet needs. Ask Him to reveal what’s really driving your struggles.
You are not hopeless. You are not too far gone. You are a child of God, and He is at work in you—even when you can’t see it. Keep fighting. Keep repenting. Keep running to Jesus. He is your only hope, and He will not let you go.
