I don't honestly think I have been lower. I ...

[treeoflife]

I don't honestly think I have been lower. I am 24, and have completely lost my way, and lost in the meantime all of the friends and support I once had. Deep inside I feel I've lost the love of God. I used to play and practice, and write Christian and Spiritual Music. I've always thought and felt intensely that that is why I was born, since I was 8 and first laid hands on a piano. Lately I'm no longer sure if this is what God wants for me, and I really need a powerful light to shine to let me know: hey, there is a reason for all of this. The place I live in I don't feel allows for the ability to be writing music. Its extremely chaotic, with paper-thin walls, noisy neighbors with loud pets. There is hardly 15 minutes of quiet a day. I feel I need a true sanctuary. This year there has been tremendous tumult in my life, and I've had to distance myself from a very poisonous family who believe that I must be hell-sent if I'm gay. They've called me all kinds of names, from a snake, to a pervert, to a ****, etc.. I've been homeless, and I've even been put away this year and called crazy.

I believe very much in the promises of God, and the works of God and the Spirit, but it feels like every light in the tunnel has gone out and I am fumbling around in the dark.

I went from one very abusive and desolate kind of environment, to another desolate kind of environment.

There was a time in my life when I really 'felt' I was on the right road, and that God saw me and favored me. Now it feels like the everything around me is cold and dark, and I have stopped growing, and stopped feeling any joy. No one seems to be able to console me because what I am looking for isn't an earthly answer, and so I have had 'friends' (some I have had for years) turn their backs.

I really want to be praising God in the near future, and saying: Oh God, I couldn't see the marvelous You had, but now I know that I had to go through this to get here. I want to be able to look around me and see people who contribute to my life things I can't stop being thankful for. And most of all, I want to be writing the music I make for God out of love, and know that my life is valuable.

Thank you for praying for me. May God bless you, and keep you, and light your way. Amen in Jesus Christ's name.

 

[Articles]

May God hear your request and grant it according to his will. In Jesus Name, Amen.

 

[Eugene]

As a believer, you should understand that God will also send his angels to strengthen and comfort you as you grow weary from the battles of this world. He will never let you stand alone and carry burdens that are much too heavy for you. The Lord knows how to rescue godly men from their trials. His purpose in allowing pain in your life is to develop you into the image of Christ and to actually make you stronger for the journey set for you. In 2 Corinthians, God’s word says that you may be hard pressed on all sides but never crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted but never abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. The storms of this life can rock your boat but Jesus has promised that you will get to the destination that he planned for you before you were born. When you can trust God despite your broken heart, you defeat the father of lies who wants you to forget that Jesus paid the price for your victory. All the troubles that we must face are obtaining for us an eternal reward that will last forever. You must keep your eyes on Jesus who is able to keep you in his peace even when you don’t understand the purpose for your pain.
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