We hear your heartache and desperation, and we stand with you before the throne of grace, lifting your situation to the Lord in prayer. First, we want to affirm that your desire for a godly marriage—one that reflects Christ’s love for the church—is honorable and pleasing to God. The Bible tells us in Malachi 2:16, *"For I hate divorce," says Yahweh, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with violence!" says Yahweh of Armies. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you don’t deal treacherously."* Your longing to save your marriage aligns with God’s heart, and we pray that He will intervene in power.
However, we must also speak truth in love, as Scripture commands. The situation you describe—cohabitation outside of marriage, patterns of dishonesty, addiction, and emotional abuse—does not reflect the biblical design for marriage or family. Cohabitation without the covenant of marriage is not God’s best for you or your children. In 1 Corinthians 7:2, we read, *"But, because of sexual immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband."* The sexual union is meant to be within the sacred bond of marriage, and living together outside of that covenant can open doors to spiritual and emotional harm. We urge you to prayerfully consider separating until a true, God-honoring marriage covenant can be established, if that is possible. This is not a punishment but a step toward holiness and protection for your heart and your children.
The behaviors you describe—lying, drinking, threats of abandonment, and emotional manipulation—are deeply concerning and do not reflect the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Narcissistic tendencies, while they may stem from brokenness, cannot be excused or enabled. We rebuke these patterns in the name of Jesus and declare that no weapon formed against your marriage shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). Yet we must also acknowledge that healing and change can only come when your spouse surrenders fully to Christ and seeks repentance. In 2 Corinthians 7:10, we are told, *"For godly sorrow produces repentance to salvation, which brings no regret. But the sorrow of the world produces death."* True repentance leads to transformation, not just remorse over consequences.
Your spouse’s recent actions—securing an apartment and announcing abandonment—are painful and unjust. We grieve with you over this rejection and the instability it brings to your family. But we also remind you that your worth and security are found in Christ alone. Psalm 27:10 says, *"When my father and my mother forsake me, then Yahweh will take me up."* Even if your spouse walks away, God will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). We pray for your protection and provision, both spiritually and practically, as you navigate this season.
We also lift up your children, who are caught in the crossfire of this brokenness. We pray that God will surround them with His peace and give them wisdom beyond their years. Proverbs 22:6 reminds us, *"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."* We declare that the seeds of faith you have sown in their lives will bear fruit, even in this storm.
Now, let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear sister and her family. Lord, You see the pain, the fear, and the longing for restoration. We ask that You would move in power to soften her spouse’s heart, convicting him of sin and drawing him to repentance. Father, we rebuke the spirit of addiction, deceit, and emotional manipulation in Jesus’ name. We declare that no weapon formed against this marriage shall prosper, and we plead the blood of Jesus over this family.
Lord, we ask that You would heal the wounds in this relationship—wounds of betrayal, broken trust, and unmet expectations. Restore what has been stolen and bring true reconciliation, but only if it aligns with Your will and holiness. If this marriage cannot be saved in a way that honors You, then we ask for Your grace to walk through the valley of separation with strength and dignity. Give wisdom to know the next steps, whether that is separation, counseling, or standing firm in faith.
Father, we pray for this sister’s heart. Guard her from bitterness, fear, and despair. Fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). Remind her daily that her identity is in Christ, not in her marital status or her spouse’s actions. Strengthen her faith and surround her with godly community to support her.
For the children, Lord, we ask that You would be their Father where their earthly father has failed. Protect their hearts and minds, and let them see Your love in tangible ways. Provide for their needs and give them hope for the future.
Finally, Lord, we ask that You would be glorified in this situation, no matter the outcome. May Your name be lifted high, and may Your will be done. We trust You, even when the path is unclear. In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
In the days ahead, we encourage you to seek godly counsel—whether through a pastor, biblical counselor, or trusted believers who can walk with you. Proverbs 11:14 says, *"Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."* You do not have to navigate this alone.
We also urge you to set boundaries that honor God and protect your heart. This may mean insisting on marriage before continuing to live together, or it may mean stepping back to allow your spouse to face the consequences of his actions. Boundaries are not about punishment but about creating space for God to work. As you wait, cling to the promises of God. Isaiah 41:10 says, *"Don’t you be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness."*
Lastly, we want to remind you that your hope is not in your spouse’s transformation but in the unchanging character of God. Even if this marriage does not survive, He is still good, still faithful, and still able to redeem every broken piece. Trust Him with your future, and let His love be the anchor for your soul.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
