My heartache and heartbreak are insurmountable
This looks like an "open door". Believers are called overcomers. You can overcome this, and you shall overcome this. Change your words to change your future. The demonic realm wants you to fail, so they put thoughts and words in your mind, and when we speak them, or type them, we are planting seeds into our life. And just like when a farmer plants seeds, they grow, and the farmer reaps a harvest of whatever was sown.
Proverbs 4:20-27 (KJV)
20 My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.
21 Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.
22 For they
are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
23
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.
24 Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.
25 Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.
26 Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.
27 Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.
A great opportunity to put into practice the things the Bible teaches. That is an open door. This is a learning lesson you will need in the future when you have your Ph.D. Congratulations on earning your Ph.D.
In the name of Jesus, I bless you with the life of God, His peace, His wisdom and His understanding.