We hear the weight of your struggle, and we want you to know that your honesty before God is the first step toward true freedom. The sins you’ve named—masturbation, lying, envy, and jealousy—are not beyond the reach of God’s grace. In fact, it is precisely for sinners like us that Christ came. "For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly... God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:6, 8 WEB). You are not too far gone; you are exactly where God’s mercy meets you.
First, we must address the name by which we approach God. It is only through Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father (John 14:6, Ephesians 2:18). There is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). If you have not already, we urge you to confess Jesus as Lord, repent of your sins, and trust in His finished work on the cross for your salvation. This is the foundation upon which all true transformation is built. If you have already done this, we rejoice with you and encourage you to continue walking in the light as He is in the light (1 John 1:7).
Now, let us speak plainly about the struggles you’ve shared. Masturbation is a form of sexual immorality, and Scripture is clear that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, meant to be honored as such (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). This is not to shame you but to call you to the freedom that comes from living in alignment with God’s design. The Holy Spirit is indeed willing to help you overcome this, but it will require surrender—laying down this habit at the foot of the cross and asking God to renew your mind (Romans 12:2). Flee from sexual immorality, and run toward holiness (1 Corinthians 6:18).
Lying and envy are also serious matters, for they grieve the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30). Proverbs 12:22 tells us, "Lying lips are an abomination to Yahweh, but those who do the truth are his delight." Envy rots the bones (Proverbs 14:30) and is a snare that keeps us from contentment in Christ. We must repent of these sins, not just in word but in action, replacing lies with truth and envy with gratitude. "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your heart to the Lord" (Colossians 3:16).
You long to be a godly wife, and that is a beautiful desire. But let us be clear: godliness is not about perfection; it is about surrender. It is about daily dying to self and allowing Christ to live through you (Galatians 2:20). You are not unworthy of a husband because of your past or your struggles. If you are in Christ, you are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), and your worth is found in Him alone. However, we must caution you not to place your hope in marriage as the solution to your struggles. Only Christ can satisfy the longings of your heart (Psalm 107:9). Seek Him first, and He will guide you in all things, including whether or not He has marriage in your future (Matthew 6:33).
We also want to address the despair in your words. It is not "if at all possible" for God to redeem you—it is *guaranteed* if you are in Christ. "He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6). You are not beyond repair. You are being refined, and though the process is painful, it is necessary. "For our light affliction, which is for the moment, works for us more and more exceedingly an eternal weight of glory" (2 Corinthians 4:17).
Let us pray for you now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer. We lift up this dear sister to You, knowing that You see her heart and her desire to be free from the sins that so easily entangle her. Lord, we thank You that while she was still a sinner, Christ died for her. We ask that You would fill her afresh with Your Holy Spirit, that she may walk in the power of Your resurrection.
Father, we rebuke the spirit of shame and condemnation that tells her she is unworthy. Your Word declares that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Help her to believe this truth and to walk in the freedom You have purchased for her. We ask that You would break the chains of masturbation, lying, and envy in her life. Give her the strength to flee from temptation and the wisdom to replace sinful habits with godly ones.
Lord, we pray for her desire to be a godly wife. We ask that You would prepare her heart for whatever You have for her—whether that is marriage or a life of singleness devoted to You. Teach her to find her worth in You alone and to trust in Your timing. If marriage is Your will for her, we pray that You would bring a godly man into her life who loves You above all else. Until then, help her to cultivate the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).
Father, we ask that You would heal her heart from any past wounds that may be contributing to her struggles. Comfort her in her moments of despair and remind her that Your grace is sufficient for her (2 Corinthians 12:9). Help her to fix her eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of her faith (Hebrews 12:2).
We declare over her life that she is redeemed, she is forgiven, and she is deeply loved by You. May she experience the fullness of Your presence and the power of Your Holy Spirit as she seeks to live a life that honors You. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.
Now, dear sister, we encourage you to take these practical steps:
1. **Confess and Repent Daily**: Bring your struggles to God in prayer every day. Confess your sins and ask for His forgiveness and strength to overcome them. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).
2. **Immerse Yourself in Scripture**: Fill your mind with God’s Word. Memorize verses that speak to your struggles, such as 1 Corinthians 10:13, which reminds us that God will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. Meditate on passages that speak of God’s love and grace, like Romans 8 or Psalm 139.
3. **Flee Temptation**: If masturbation is a struggle, take drastic measures to remove temptation. This might mean setting up accountability with a trusted sister in Christ, installing filters on your devices, or avoiding situations where you know you will be tempted.
4. **Replace Sin with Godliness**: When you feel the pull of envy or the urge to lie, replace those thoughts and actions with something godly. Pray, sing worship songs, or call a friend to encourage you. "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things" (Philippians 4:8).
5. **Seek Community**: You were not meant to walk this journey alone. Find a local church or a small group of believers who can encourage you, pray for you, and hold you accountable. "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near" (Hebrews 10:24-25).
6. **Serve Others**: One of the best ways to combat envy and self-pity is to serve others. Look for opportunities to volunteer, help a neighbor, or encourage someone who is struggling. "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45).
7. **Trust God’s Timing**: Whether you are called to marriage or singleness, trust that God’s plan for you is good. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares Yahweh, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" (Jeremiah 29:11). If marriage is in your future, pray for your future spouse even now, that God would prepare both of your hearts for each other.
Remember, sanctification is a process. You will not be perfect this side of heaven, but you can grow in holiness day by day. "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit" (2 Corinthians 3:18). Keep your eyes on Jesus, and do not grow weary in doing good (Galatians 6:9). He is faithful, and He will complete the work He has begun in you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
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