Husband incessantly nagging about sex

[Alaeland]

My husband has been throwing fits lately about lack of sex. I have an 8-month-old that I exclusively care for. She is breastfed and cosleeps. We live away from family in the middle of nowhere so there’s no childcare and she’s breastfeeding so I can’t be away from her for long anyway, nor do I want to be away from her. My husband thinks it’s dangerous for me to go out alone and there’s nothing to do in this extremely small town anyway so me and her are trapped at day, 24 hours a day 7 days a week in a small house. Me and the baby sometimes don’t leave the house for 14 days straight. If we left to do anything he would probably throw it in my face how he works and I don’t. I do 100% of the childcare, and 100% of everything relating to the house and planning and organization of our lives. I have zero time to myself, and even doing house chores or cooking I have a baby literally hanging on my leg. My husband goes to work 4 days a week to provide, but throws it in my face any chance he gets when he doesn’t get sex and then claims he’s just a paycheck or a bank account to me. I used to work until the baby was born. We have no savings because he had many addictions while I was pregnant and spent thousands a month on pills and shopping even when I begged him to stop, so we’re really fully dependent on his income right now. After work he comes home and eats dinner that I prepared and relaxes on the couch or plays videos games or argues with strangers online about religion or rants to me about what he argues with strangers about online while I get the baby fed and cleaned and ready for bed and then me and the baby go to bed while he stays up. He says I should go to work then and he will stay home with the baby if it’s so hard. He’s throws temper tantrums that I don't want to have him put his penis in my anus. I have hemorrhoids now after giving birth and I just don’t want to do it. I never liked it, ever. He says I’m a liar and He starts telling me extremely mean and gross degrading things like how much I must have liked to do that with ex’s and how lucky they were and how I’m horrible I won’t do it with my husband and it turns into racist unnecessary disrespectful comments. I have zero libido. I still try to have sex with him just to appease him. It’s not enjoyable for me in the slightest and feels violating. He complains about other sex acts I don’t enjoy like licking me. I told him I would lay there and spread my genitals and sit there while he did for himself if it pleased him but it wouldn’t do anything for me, and he still gets angry that I don’t want it. It honestly sounds violating to lay there and let him do that but it’s better than being nagged and told those gross degrading things and feel threatened because we depend on him. He also complains I don’t let him lick my anus and I just find this so disgusting and degrading to be treated this way. When I say he complains, I mean he freaks out. It gets to the point that he is just horrible to me over it. I don’t want my breasts sucked when they have milk coming out of them. It’s so one-sided and he does not care as long as he gets himself off. I have found porn on his computer and I think he masturbates to porn or to photos after we go to bed. I asked for help with what we can do to entertain the baby so he can get off on my body and he just gets angry and mean. On the rare moment the baby is occupied and I can maybe have a shower alone or even just do something like sleep, he uses it as an opportunity to expect sex instead. I was letting the baby watch TV near us while we did that in the shower and he said the shower is now boring to him and he’s not going to do that anymore because he doesn’t like it. I don’t know what else I can do. The baby is very clingy and there’s nobody to watch her while he has sex with me and she simply will not sleep alone right now. Sometimes she cries but he’s not finished yet so I have to endure sex while she’s screaming for me and hoping he finishes fast and it’s just not enjoyable at all. If we can’t do the shower anymore, I don’t know what else can be done with her and he’s freaking out over it and being mean and short with me and making it my problem to deal with. I ask for help coming up with solutions and he has none and freaks out and says FINE THEN WELL JUST HAVE A SEXLESS MARRIAGE. I’m just starting to feel really depressed and worthless and stuck at this point and my situation feels hopeless. I feel bad because my baby didn’t do anything to deserve to be born into this situation and doesn’t deserve to hear him degrade me sexually and insult me and have nasty comments to me. I didn’t know how pregnancy and birth and having a baby would affect me. He had a much older son, and divorced his wife after he cheated on her many times with many women because he didn’t get to have sex as much as he wanted. He claimed he repented and changed and would never do that again, but to be honest, I’m terrified of the future for myself and my child. I feel there’s nothing else to do but give it to Jesus and pray.

 

[Articles]

Let us first address the spiritual foundation of your situation. It is wonderful that you acknowledge the need to give your circumstances to Jesus and pray. This is the most important step, as it is only through the name of Jesus that we have access to God. As it is written in Acts 4:12 WEB: "There is salvation in none other, for neither is there any other name under heaven, that is given among men, by which we must be saved." It is also important to remember that Jesus said in Matthew 11:28 WEB, "Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest."

In your marriage, it is clear that there are significant challenges that need to be addressed with biblical principles at the forefront. Marriage is a sacred union designed by God, and both husband and wife should strive to honor and respect each other as outlined in Ephesians 5:22-33 WEB. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church, and wives are called to respect their husbands.

Your husband's demands for sexual acts that you find degrading and uncomfortable are not aligned with biblical principles of love and respect. In 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 WEB, it is written, "Let the husband render to his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise also the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but the wife." This mutual authority is not a license for either spouse to make demands that are uncomfortable or degrading to the other.

Your husband's behavior, including his temper tantrums, degrading comments, and disrespectful attitude, is not acceptable. In Ephesians 4:29 WEB, it is written, "Let no corrupt speech proceed out of your mouth, but such as is good for building up as the need may be, that it may give grace to those who hear." His actions are harming your emotional and spiritual well-being, and this is not how a husband should treat his wife.

Moreover, his past addictions and financial irresponsibility have put you in a difficult situation. It is important to address these issues openly and honestly, seeking God's guidance and possibly professional help if needed. In Proverbs 15:22 WEB, it is written, "Without consultation, plans are frustrated, but with many counselors they are established."

Regarding your feelings of depression and worthlessness, remember that you are precious in God's sight. In Psalm 139:14 WEB, it is written, "I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. My soul knows that very well." Seek comfort and strength in the Lord, and consider reaching out to a trusted Christian counselor or pastor for additional support.

Let us pray for you:

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come before You in the name of Jesus, lifting up this sister in Christ who is facing tremendous challenges in her marriage and personal life. Lord, we ask that You grant her the strength and wisdom to navigate these difficulties with grace and courage. Help ### to see the error of his ways and to turn towards You for true repentance and change. Guide them both to seek Your will and to honor each other in their marriage.

Lord, we ask that You provide this sister with the emotional and spiritual support she needs during this time. Surround her with Your love and peace, and help her to find joy and hope in You. We ask that You provide for her and her child's needs, both physically and spiritually.

In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.

Be strong and courageous, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

 

[hostadmin]

I hear your struggle, sister. It's not easy being trapped at home with a baby and a husband who's constantly nagging about sex. It's like you're in a pressure cooker, and it's taking a toll on your emotional and physical well-being. I'm here for you, and I want you to know that you're not alone.

First, let's talk about your husband's behavior. It's not okay for him to throw fits, make degrading comments, or force you into sexual acts that make you uncomfortable. That's not love, that's not respect, and that's not how a husband should treat his wife. You deserve better, and God wants better for you. In Ephesians 5:25, it says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." That's the kind of love you should be receiving.

Now, I know you're feeling trapped, depressed, and worthless. Please don't let those feelings consume you. You are precious in God's sight. In Psalm 139:14, it says, "I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." You are a child of God, and He loves you deeply.

Here's what I suggest:

1. **Set Boundaries**: It's important to communicate your boundaries to your husband. Make it clear what you're comfortable with and what you're not. Remember, your body, your rules.

2. **Seek Professional Help**: Consider speaking to a Christian counselor or a trusted pastor. They can provide you with tools and strategies to cope with your situation and help you navigate your marriage.

3. **Pray**: Keep praying. Keep talking to God about your feelings, your fears, and your needs. He's there for you, and He cares.

4. **Reach Out**: Don't isolate yourself. Reach out to trusted friends, family, or a support group. You need a safe space to vent, to cry, and to be heard.

5. **Self-Care**: Make sure you're taking care of yourself. That means getting enough rest, eating well, and doing things that bring you joy and peace.

Let's pray together:

"Dear Lord, we come before You today, lifting up our sister who's going through a tough time. Lord, we ask that You give her strength, courage, and wisdom to navigate her marriage with grace. Help her husband to see the error of his ways and to turn towards You. Guide them both to honor each other and to seek Your will in their marriage. Lord, we ask that You surround her with Your love and peace. Help her to find joy and hope in You. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."

 

[Cinu]

Lord, we pray for this prayer and family for blessings healing and salvation. Heal and bless. May their lives be a praise and glory unto thee.
Come to the Lord's holy presence. Seek him with all your heart. Cling to his Word and meditate on it moment by moment by positive thoughts and joy in the heart (James 1:2-4), knowing that the Lord is good and to him be all the praise. Seek first God's kingdom and his righteousness (Matthew 6:33). Even though life may feel hard, the Lord's hand will be on you, and he will answer in his time. I am praying for you. Amen.

Some resources that might help.

Needs: - But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19(KJV)

Salvation: - So they said "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved you and your household." Acts 16:31(NKJV)

Healing: - But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5(NKJV)

Fulfillment by the Holy Spirit: - Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel, saying, Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts. Zechariah 4:6(KJV)

Persecutions: - But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. Luke 6:27-28(KJV)

Help in Prayer

Dwelling and Thriving in God’s grace where everything happens for good (Romans 8:28)

Pray that the Lord may open the eyes of the nations affected by coronavirus (Specifically forces against God’s people)

sermons

Be a Prayer Warrior: “Praying for others”

 

[The Encourager]

I prayed that God in Jesus' name will answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. Thank You Jesus!!!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God solution focused heart, mind, spirit, and attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach.

Healed Spirit Soul And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

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