P
profms
Guest
I don't know how to go on anymore - it's been too long and too hard a road. My husband and my family was my world - and he walked out on us again - wants to be free, smoke pot, etc. He says our marriage has no trust because in the past he abandoned us to go drink/smoke for 2 years, and also when he was drunk one time I called the police because I was afraid. He since hit rock bottom (I thought) and went to AA, therapy, etc. However, as soon as his requirements (he was mandated to attend) were fulfilled, he stopped going. Sadly, the same patterns started all over again for both of us. I am mad at myself for thinking things would be different this time around - why didn't I go to Al-Anon when he was here with us? I am going now - but it seems like its too late. Why didn't I demand he continue to go to AA? My husband says the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - he means that we should both just give up on our marriage of 20 years and walk away. The way I see it though - we should try again and this time actually deal with the issues at hand instead of pretending they dont exist. Go to AA, Al-anon, marriage counseling, etc. I guess that would be too hard - he'd have to give up his addictions and deal with his demons head on - he'd rather run away and destroy our family. I am so sad - I really don't know how I can have faith anymore. Please pray I am so lost and afraid right now.
