How To Fight The Battle For Your Marriage And Draw Close To God

[kristie]

Awhile ago I took the time to respond personally to someone else who was kind of lost on what to do, someone that admitted they really do not know God. I am going to paste some of my response here to give you a better understanding of this battle you are in for your marriage, and hopefully it may bring some insight to you, and get you working in the right direction, focused in the right direction so you can win this battle. Remember that the below is excerpts from what I said to this other person, but that will give you, someone who does know God, a better picture maybe.

Letter to other member:

First of all, I really want to encourage you to seriously, with all of your heart, submit your life to God. I can pretty much guarantee you that the reason all of this is happening in your life and marriage, is because God is allowing the attack to draw you closer to Him and into a real heart relationship with Him. The attack on your marriage is of Satan only, understand that, and also understand that Satan cannot do anything to Gods people without God allowing him, giving him legal access to us. God allows him access because He has a two fold purpose in doing so. The most important of those is to bring you into a real relationship with Himself, one like you have never known. To raise you up into a real warrior in Christ, to anoint you with His Spirit and transform you into someone that does not exist now, and someone who will become so strong and powerful in God, that down the line you will look back and not even recognize who you are right this moment. God brings His own unto Himself through the school of suffering. I know that it sounds painful, but what you will find is that His power and His showing of Himself to you is incredible and you will find yourself caring more about what He has done in you and in your life, than the pain, it can never compare to the glory. When God manifests Himself to you in ways that are biblical and unbelievable, supernatural, you will just be so caught up in the wonder of it that you wouldn't trade anything in the world for the experience.

So with that, I am first off letting you know that you are stepping into a great adventure with God, and from here on, it is going to be a awesome trip, even if somewhat painful. You will not regret it, I can promise you that. Secondly I am telling you that you are correct, God does want your marriage to remain intact. The really good news is, if you submit your life and your whole being to God, you have no fear whatsoever of that happening, your marriage will remain intact. God never fails those who belong to Him, those who sell out to Him. The battle against your marriage becomes His battle and not yours, and it is just a sure victory, bottom line. Nothing can thwart God, nothing or nobody, not your spouse, not some adulteress/adulterer, not Satan himself. It is done, it is finished. What God will do is walk you through a learning process while He is putting it all back together. He is going to teach you how to fight spiritually and He is going to bring a growth in you that is going to empower you in Christ. He is going to make you into a mean green devil fighting machine, and from this time forward, as you grow and turn into that warrior, nothing will phase you much that comes against you ever again, you will just kick its behind every time. I used to be just like you five years ago. The past three, I have been used by God to help teach those like me five years ago to how to warfare and grow. Your greatest weapon is to submit yourself and your life to Him and receive His power within you, His Spirit, and His covering. This is a personal thing, but it is not hard at all...just sell out, give it over and He will do the rest.

The second greatest weapon in your arsenal is His word, the bible, and what He says. He has something to say about everything that happens in our lives. The bible is really a instructional on how to win as a child of God. As for marriage, He has a whole lot to say about the topic. The first thing you need to learn scripturally is that God states in His word that His word (what He says about any given thing in the bible) can never return void to Him, that it goes forth and performs the task for which He spoke it. Meaning, whatever He says goes, bottom line. If He said it, and you declare what He said, if you speak it over your marriage, then it goes back up to Him and He dispatches His angels to perform it, to make it come true, He makes it happen. He says that the angels hearken to the voice of His word. Note, the voice, meaning when we speak His word, the angels hearken, they hear us and they go forth to make it happen. When Satan was cast out of Heaven, he convinced one third of the angel population to follow him. It is this one third of the angel population that is Satan's army, and they are called dark angels by some, but scripturally they are called powers, principalities, rulers of the dark. What they are, scripturally, is demons. This is the big mistake on peoples part that live here on earth, and even on many Christians parts. They do not want to believe that demons exist, that is just in the movies. Trust me, demons exist, do not trust me...just trust Gods word on it, it is right there in the bible. We do not fight against flesh and blood (humans here on earth) but against powers, principalities and the dark rulers. We are fighting demons. Demons are alive and well and very active on earth, they are the ones who do all the assignments of Satan in mankind and in places. What typically happens is that we humans let them into our lives, we open the door for them. We do this in many ways, even movies that we watch or have in our homes, magazines, cheating, sin, it opens the door to demons to come into our lives, into our homes, and take up residency and do their dirty deeds. I can tell you right now that you are not fighting against your spouse, so understand that now, it is key to the battle. Since you are not fighting your spouse, but you are actually fighting a demon spirit that came in and is influencing your spouse, yes...they influence humans, they put all the thoughts in their heads, and they take control of their thoughts, their mouths, their body parts. So first lesson is, talking to or dealing with your spouse on this is not going to get you very far, you are just talking to a demon spirit and they are not going to do anything you want without a fight. So the first rule is, you win this battle without words to your spouse. Win without words, you will hear that expression often in marriage standing, and what that means is, you become closed mouth with your spouse, and you take all your talking to God, as He is the only one that can deal with your spouse. The only words that you need speak to your spouse from this point forward is that you love them and your arms and heart are open to them. End of story.

So, what I am trying to establish with you is that you cannot win this battle in the physical world, that is not where you have to fight it because it is not a physical battle...it is powers and principalities you are fighting, and they manifest themselves in the physical world but they can only be fought in the spiritual realm, that is where their power stems from. The only ones who can fight them and overpower them is the ones who are in the same realm as them power wise, and that is God and Gods army, the two thirds of the angels that stayed with God. So the way you have to view this thing is to take your eyes off of what you see here in the physical and move into the spiritual and this is why you need to really get spiritual with God to win this. He will give you the ability to see into the spiritual and get your focus there.

What is going on there, just to give a visualization, is that Satan's demons have your spouse held captive (again, you are not fighting against your spouse, he/she has left the building so to speak, and powers and dark rulers have him/her bound up with chains and are using him/her like a puppet on a string. They have a blinder over his/her eyes and ears, his/her hands bound, his/her feet bound, and chains all around him/her. His/Her mouth is free because they need to use that to speak to you all the bad things they want to say to you, it is not him/her speaking to you, so do not even bother to speak back and argue, it will gain you nothing. Ignore them, ignore what they say using his mouth, they are the masters of lies and deceit, and they are just out to wound you with his mouth and make you give up and move on so they can accomplish their mission easily). So what you need to visualize is that Satan and his cronies have your spouse hostage. Gods army of angels are facing off with Satan's army of angels and right now they have your spouse. Gods angels are going to take him/her away from them though...no worry about that, it is just a given, they are outnumbered and out-powered and it really is a easy battle for them. You have called on God to help you, so now they are facing off against one another, and I just envision it as a huge football field.

There are rules to the battle though. Your job is not to get on the field, when you do, you just cause a distraction and it hinders the battle and postpones Gods army from taking your spouse back from them. Your job is to sit on the sideline and be the cheerleader for Gods team. You do this by praying and becoming a real close and personal friend of Gods. You are to do two things, to cheer by speaking Gods word over your spouse and marriage which makes Gods angels advance on Satan's army and overtake them. In the bible, you have probably heard the scripture, Satan tempted Jesus on the mountain for 40 days. He would say something to Jesus to tempt Him, and the only thing Jesus would respond to him with is the word of God out of the old testament, Chronicles scripture. Gods word is pure truth, Satan is all lies. By speaking Gods word, Satan then could not respond back to it, so he had to move on with another temptation. With each temptation, Jesus again spoke Gods word and finally Satan had to give up and slink off. This is what you are going to do, they cannot advance back against Gods army when you speak His word, Gods word only advances Gods angels, doing this keeps pushing Satan's army back against the goal post, which is actually a brick wall.

So you speak Gods word about your marriage, "What God has joined together, let no man tear asunder". God created marriage for a lifetime, one man to one woman for life". These are just two of many many scriptures. You put in your names because this battle is for your marriage. "What God has joined together, _____ and _______, let no man tear asunder". God gives a very clear word on the intruder, other woman, adulteress as God calls her, in your marriage. Proverbs, speak it with her name inserted. "The adulteress, ______, is as bitter as gall, a bitter as wormwood, a double edged sword, her feet lead down to Sheol (Hell), her pathways to death". There is many many more. In Hosea, God hedges up the adulteress, speak it over the adulteress/adulterer in your marriage, and she/he will become what God says she/he is to your spouse, and she/he and your spouse both will become hedged off from one another. Gods word never fails, it never returns to Him void, it does what it says.

Other than this, you act like a cheerleader, you praise God for the victory, you dance and you sing and cheer about Him and His army, they are undefeatable and you claim the victory with dance and song, words of praise. Lastly, you just talk to God. Now there is a rule to this though. Anything that you say to God other then His scriptural word, you speak silently to Him. God is omnipotent, He hears your thoughts and He speaks back to you in your thoughts and heart. Satan is not omnipotent and this is for good reason. When you speak out loud things that are from your heart, your worries, your fears, your doubts, inner things, Satan is tuning in to you and feeding on what you say. This is how he finds out what he can use to come against you. Satan was defeated over 2000 years ago by the blood of Jesus. When Jesus said it was finished, it was finished, and Satan lost all power over mankind, especially over children of God. Satan is under your feet, you are not under his, he just tries to make you believe you are. You are not, Jesus took care of that and Satan has no power or authority over you and your life, he cannot touch you without God allowing him to, he lost all legal rights to do anything to you on the cross. Satan cannot win against God, and he cannot win against you if you are standing solidly on the rock foundation of God and His word. Satan wins only by what he can get you to believe and respond to. He scores points in the battle only via you, what he can get you to do or say or think. His only weapon in this battle is your mind. This is where you are going to fight him and this is where he is either going to score or not score. He is going to speak things into your mind, lies. He is going to put doubt into your mind with thoughts. He is going to attack your emotions that brings thoughts into your mind, he is going to use your spouse and other people to attack your mind and emotions. He is even going to use Christians to attack your mind, expect it, and know that they do not realize they are being used by the way, they will come forth as well intentioned and caring, but they will speak a lie for him. He is very very crafty at what he does, he has been doing it for a long long time, and he knows, already had it mapped out before he sent his demons to attack, what your vulnerabilities are, where he can hit you the hardest and hope to make you fall down.

Again, like Jesus, you only have one weapon to counter against him, and that is Gods word, it is called your sword in the bible. God tells us that when we come into a battle with the powers, we are to armor up. You bind your feet in the peace of His word, you strap on the belt of truth, put on the breastplate of righteousness, the helmet of salvation, you take up your shield of faith in your left hand, and the sword of the Spirit in your right hand, which is the gospel of God..the scriptures, the truth. So to win this battle, to keep Satan's army from advancing any at all, you have to shut him, and everyone he is controlling, completely out. You have to know in your heart that Gods word is truth and it will not return void, it will never ever fail you, it cannot fail you. God states in His word that He would forsake His own name before He would forsake His word, that He is not such a man that He would lie. He says that He cannot lie, not that He will not lie, but that He cannot lie. You have to set yourself, mind body and spirit, in concrete, unmovable, in Gods word on your marriage. Do not let anyone back you off it, you are going to latch on like a pit-bull to what God says about your marriage. I don't care what your spouse says, or your family members, your friends, Christians that you know that want to help you out with friendly advice, if it is not what God says, then it is Satan feeding it to them to get to you, to get you to stumble, which then lets his army advance and score a point. As of this moment on, you see nothing, you hear nothing and you speak nothing but the word of God about your marriage, to the point that you are going to draw some looks from others that are going to indicate that they think you have lost your mind. When someone asks you about your spouse or your marriage, you respond with Gods truth, that God is dealing with it and your marriage is fine and intact. You absolutely do not speak anything negative, because then you are giving your approval for Satan's army to take some of the yard-line. When Satan speaks into your mind, you speak out loud Gods word, just like Jesus did, you speak out loud, "The Lord Jesus Christ rebuke you". and you keep doing it and speaking Gods word until he slinks off and out of your mind, just as he did with Jesus.

Other people can also curse you by what they say, so when anyone, I don't care who it is, your mother, if they speak negative over your marriage or spouse, you rebuke and bind what they said in the Name and blood of Jesus, and you do it out loud because if Satan cannot hear it, it is not rebuked. The best way to handle this is, everyday just speak a rebuking of curses. Just speak in prayer, "The Lord Jesus Christ rebuke, break and bind every curse sent against us, _____ and _____ and our marriage, by word, thought or deed, by every person known and unknown, and send it back to the sender and bind it to them with the blood of Jesus". That will take care of it, speak it every morning and every night and cover yourself. It is important to do this, because your spouse will speak curses, Satan has control of his mouth, the adulteress/adulterer will speak curses, and unintended people will as well. Get them off your marriage and sent back, important.

So, key factor here is your faith and your trust in God and His army to win this battle, and it really is a easy key to hold on to if you understand and know with your heart that God is all powerful and nothing can come against Him and His word. That is not hard, it is just a known thing. Grab ahold of it and do not let go for nothing, and you will be amazed at the peace and joy that comes into your spirit even though things look dismal in the physical. Know that what you see with your physical eyes is not what is real, Satan is a fantastic magician by the way, master of illusions. You have to know that what is going on in the spiritual realm is what is real, what you cannot see with the physical eye but can see with the spirit once you develop your spiritual eye, and that is what God is going to do with you, that is why this is happening to you, so relax and know that you are in good hands, the victory is yours, your spouse is coming home, God says so, the adulteress/adulterer is going to be an awful experience for your husband, truly awful and at some point he/she is going to run as fast as they can to get away from her/him (I know, been there five times and it is actually amusing to watch Gods word manifest in the situation, it will amaze you and make a real believer out of you, part of your faith growth).

Think of this as an adventure, because that is what it is going to be actually, a wondrous adventure of seeing God physically manifest before your eyes, and it really is awesome. Hard to believe right now for you, but if you do what I say, you will see God work and it will take your breath away and you will never be the same. Know that every time you speak Gods word, from the very first second you speak it the first time, it shot up to Heaven, it got Gods attention and He dispatched His angels and the war is on, and it is not good for satan by any means. Know that those words went straight up into the spiritual realm and they have already happened there, have already restored your marriage, and they are just waiting to come back to the physical realm and manifest, and they will. God speaks things that are not as if they already are, and they become by the power of His word. So you from this point on speak your marriage restored, your spouse giving their life to Christ, and your marriage blessed and indestructible and know that it already is, and you will see it happen before your eyes because it becomes by the power of His word. It is a done deal, know that in your heart and grab Satan by the throat with it and back him off your spouse and marriage with Gods word. If you do, Gods angels will drive them back against the brick wall and snatch him/her out of their hands without a hitch.

I hope this helps you some, and like I told this person, you can read through my personal teachings here on the board and there are a lot of things there for you to help in your battle.

God bless you

 

[kristie]

Awhile ago, I wrote the following email to a new member privately. It is something that I have always taught about marriage battles and that I think needs to be restated here for new members as well as a reminder to long time members. So, I am pasting it here for everyone, as a word to those who do not know and a refresher to those who do:

When they (your spouses) are taken captive by Satan, they typically totally pull away from God. They have no interest in God, the bible, church, or hearing anything about any of it. My husband was a Christian when I married him over 13 years ago, and he was stronger then me in the Lord. I used to get embarrassed because every time teens came to our house selling something for school, he would have them pinned down on the couch witnessing to them. I would be like, "Honey, you are terrifying them, they just came to sell you a candy bar, let the poor kids up and let them go on with their business". He was in church every time the doors were open, and many days when they weren’t, playing and recording his gospel music. Then my stepson came along, dumped on our doorway because he was such a mess his mom did not want him anymore, the day before he had killed an entire litter of registered Rottweiler pups, she was a breeder. He brought porn in our house, rebellion, tried to beat me up and all his women teachers. He was kicked out of school more then he was ever in, and we were finally told he was out permanently and needed to be put in a boys detention school.

My husband had no clue what to do with this kid, so he tried to befriend him and that just escalated the problem. We began fighting over it all, and after 7 years of marriage bliss and being so close that we were inseparable, we were not even speaking anymore. His son convinced him to go back to playing rock music in clubs, just so he could go along at age 14! This made it even worse between us, and my husband then in our turmoil had a fling with a groupie. At this point he broke down and went to the alter, quit all his nonsense and put himself back into our marriage. But we attended a Baptist church and after it came out what had happened, they turned their backs on him, condemned him. He dropped out of church and from that point on Satan really came into him. I spent two of the last five years with my husband actually and truly demon possessed, not oppressed as most are, but possessed.

He would sit up in the bed in the middle of the night, shake his fist and curse God. He had the odor of death on him common of possessed people, a combination of ether smell and the sweet sick odor of a decaying corpse. I could not lay next to him or they would sit on my chest pushing the air out of my lungs. He became violent, smashing things, raising his fist to me, beating up his son, the dog, the car, whatever was in his path when he went into a rage, and those rages came often. He started smoking pot and developed a $200 a week pot habit and not taking care of bills, then coke. You could not talk to him about God. He was telling his friends that he did not love me and was only hanging around to get all he could from me, he was evil. God took him out of here finally, and it took two months, but God broke the demons off of him. He came back on his knees literally, crying like a baby. He got back in church, really dug into the bible, got back to his gospel music, and then three months later started backing off again, and then was in adultery, and it has been a battle again since.

At this time he is back with the Lord, he is not right, but he is very fearful of the Lord, he is himself seeking deliverance from God and desiring to have his life back right with God, everything healed in our marriage, he has been changing slowly day by day and the man I married is starting to come through again, the romance we had is coming out again. I expect it to be better then it was in the beginning when God is finished and that nothing will be able to get back in again in the future.

You have to understand that rarely is this a quick fix with God. I had been in this battle for over five years. My husband had went out for every year I had fought it, like a revolving door. Five adulteresses, five times out the door and each time has gotten longer in duration. First time was a couple weeks, second time a month, third time two months, fourth time three months, and the last time it has been over a year. Most do not happen like mine, so do not let me scare you, but I also have this calling on my life, and I believe that my trial I have walked through was merely for the purpose of preparing me and giving me wisdom, experience and the truth of God, so that I could minister to all of you.

For every person that goes through this, there is a reason, and that is to bring you up levels in God, to transform you into who He wants and needs you to be for whatever it is that He has planned for you. Everyone of us have a calling for the Kingdom of God on our lives. For some it may be as simple as being the Godly leader of our home, for others it could be major ministries of some kind. Your battle, what I call the school of suffering, is dependent on the calling, how hard it will be, how long, etc.

There are standers here that have been fighting for years, one for five years or so, he can tell you, and another one is a trooper to me, unimaginable, but however long it takes God gives you the desire, the strength and endurance to walk it. Your battle could take two weeks, it could take a year or better, we never know, it depends on what God is trying to do in you and how long it takes Him to accomplish it. That is why I tell everyone to just rest in Him, know that your marriage is in His hands and well, and take this time, this season in your life, to just really open up to Him and let Him have all of you freely to mold and do whatever it is He is doing, because if you can do that, your battle will shorten. That is the only reason this is happening, it has brought you to a place where all you have is Him to turn to. That is where He usually has to take us before we will stop what we are doing and submit to Him.

We are seeking Him to break our spouse and bring them to their knees, but what most do not even realize is, that He broke you and has brought you to your knees in allowing Satan to take your wife or husband out. As soon as He can complete the good work in you that He allowed this to happen for, the sooner He can move on to your wife/husband and bring them home. His word speaks about in the last days how He is going to pour out His Spirit and our sons and daughters will prophesy. Right now and for some time now He has been calling out His children to raise them up, build them up and take them up levels in Him so that we can march boldly forth and do what He needs us to do and not waiver or backslide. These last days are when it is going to get vicious, the battle for souls, it is the last round and it will be fought hard. He needs warriors, He does not want wimpy Christians for this last round. So He is putting His people through the fiery furnace of affliction to get them to warrior-hood. For some it may be through illness, or something else extreme where they only have Him to save them, and because of that they are going to go through a faith walk and go up many levels in faith. Your fiery furnace just happens to be your marriage, as the rest of us here. God knows what it will take to get you to where He needs you, and that is where He will allow Satan to come in and attack, so that He can take what Satan intends for harm and use it to His good. His good being transforming you and your spouse for the Kingdom.

Your spouse is not the one pulling away from you or God. These spouses all pull away from both us and God, it goes hand in hand. This is because they are captive, they are literally chained and bound by Satan and his demon forces that work here on earth. The demons take over their minds and thoughts, their emotions, their mouths, and sometimes if they can manage it their genitals and everything else. Demons do not want to go to church or read the bible and they do not want your spouse to either, that may set him/her free from them, so they will do all they can to keep that from happening, and you may see a rejection of the Lord in them because of that. Just know that it is really not them doing it. It is, in the sense that they is themselves are really feeling that way right now and saying it, but it is because these demonic spirits have control of them for the moment and God will break your spouse to get them set loose. Will get them to a place where all they have is Him to save them, and then they will cry out and those demons will break lose of them. Prayer for them is the only thing that gets them there, that and faith in God and His promises. He sets the captives free, He breaks the chains, the strongholds and the yokes and destroys them. But it typically takes some time, because at the same time He is testing you for faith and trust, and building you up into a warrior.

The thing that helps in this is if you can stop looking at your spouse as the one harming you and doing this stuff to you, saying this stuff to you, and see them bound in those chains being tormented and controlled. Then you can get riled at the right person, Satan, and it brings a bold determination that you will not let him have your spouse. Get fighting mad at him, get back in his face, and let him know that he will not keep your spouse even if it kills you getting them loose from him. If you can look at them in this way, and your child/children if applicable, seeing them bound, it kind of changes your perspective on things. Just like if intruders broke into your home in the middle of the night and have tied up your wife/husband and child in chairs and is tormenting them and making you watch. What would you do, get mad at your spouse because they have him/her bound up. No, you would get in a rage at the intruders doing this to your family and you would probably open up a can of whupbut. Well, that is exactly what is happening here, and your can of whupbut is prayer, scripture, the promises of God, they are like a 38 special in your hand loaded with bullets and you need to come out firing knowing that this is going to drive them out of your home and get your spouse and child free again. (I was talking to one of our male members in this, I kind of got man minded in illustration) Grin

After God showed me this, back in the early years of my battle, I no longer was bothered by anything my husband did or said because I knew he was in chains, and all it did was make me more fighting mad and determined to set him free with Gods help. I have stood in my yard and yelled and shook my fist telling Satan that he will not have my husband, and he wont. I do not care how long it takes me to beat them off of him, I will not stop, even if it kills me trying, he will have to kill me to get me to stop.

God is taking you into hand to hand combat with the enemy. We do not get any basic training in spiritual warfare, we get drafted and sent straight to the front line, and we learn how to fight in the heat of the battle. That is where you are right now, on the front line and only armed with the word of God, but the word of God will take down a nation.

God bless...

Kristie

 

[praysite-2464]

Hi there Kristi,

Thanks so much for your posts on marriage and reconciliation! They have been very instructional, and extremely encouraging!

I noticed you make several referrences in your posts to spouses being possessed and influenced by demons. I am sensitive to the divide within the Christian community regarding this issue: whether a Christian can, in fact, be actually possessed by demons, or simply influenced or affected? Some say Christians cannot possibly be possessed, simply based on the fact that they are now the temple of the Holy Spirit, and God cannot dwell with evil. If not, how does Matthew 16:23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.†and Mark 8:33 But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!†he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.†apply in this context?

As well, supposedly the notion of exorcising one's own demons is unBiblical-- it should always be done by someone else. I can't seem to recollect passages where an individual casts out his/her own demons, but I have friends who've testified to this happening to them...

I'm not sure about all these guidelines surrounding this topic, and wondering if you might share your standpoint?

Many blessings!

 

[kristie]

Hi sis. No, I do not believe a truly saved Christian can become possessed. A pastor I am very fond of believes otherwise, and has shown me some convincing material scripturally, but for the most part I believe that a person who is truly saved does not get so far gone with God to have that happen. God goes after His sheep and I do not think God allows such to happen. Influenced yes, or I call it oppressed actually. Even in the unsaved peoples I think possession is rare, as well as far and few inbetween.