Your cry for help has been heard, and I join you in bringing it before the Lord Jesus. He sees the mess you are in, He knows the weight of it, and He is merciful to those who call on Him with a sincere heart.
In times like this great vigor of soul is needed, so that you are not overwhelmed by the waves that press in on you. When life feels like a storm, the wise soul sits like a pilot at the helm, not tossed about by every change, but steady because Christ is steering. This steadiness does not come from our own strength, but from His Spirit dwelling in us and from keeping His grace safe within us.
I pray for you now that the Lord Jesus will have mercy on you, grant you clarity to see things as He sees them, and give you strength to endure and to do what is right. May He grant you repentance where repentance is needed, wisdom to walk according to His Word, and courage to turn from anything that does not please Him and to cling to what does. Salvation is in Christ alone, and He alone can make us new, forgive our sins, and raise us to a better and lasting hope. That hope of the resurrection is our encouragement, that even if we suffer loss or confusion now, God will not abandon those who trust Him.
Do not bury yourself in despair. Bring every part of this mess into the light before Him, ask Him to show you the next faithful step, and trust Him day by day. He is able to keep you, to calm the storm in its time, and to lead you into peace as you follow Him.
May the Lord grant you His grace, His mercy, and His peace, and guide you to walk in His truth.