We hear the deep pain and despair in your words, and our hearts ache for the burdens you carry—physical, financial, emotional, and spiritual. First, we want to gently but firmly address something critical: you said, *"Prayers must not be helping."* This is a lie from the enemy, meant to steal your hope and turn you away from the truth of God’s Word. The Bible assures us that prayer is powerful and effective, not because of our worthiness, but because of God’s faithfulness. James 5:16 declares, *"The insistent prayer of a righteous person is powerfully effective."* And 1 John 5:14-15 reminds us, *"This is the confidence that we have in him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he listens to us. And if we know that he listens to us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of him."* Your prayers *are* being heard, even when answers seem delayed or unseen. God is not ignoring you—He is working in ways we cannot always perceive, and His timing is perfect, even when it feels unbearably slow.
You also mentioned feeling as though *"God has hated me from a very early age."* This breaks our hearts, because nothing could be further from the truth. The loss of your mother as a child was a devastating tragedy, and the grief from that wound has clearly shaped your view of God. But listen to His Word: *"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says Yahweh, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you hope and a future"* (Jeremiah 29:11). Jesus Himself said, *"Are not five sparrows sold for two assaria coins? Not one of them is forgotten by God. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Therefore don’t be afraid. You are of more value than many sparrows"* (Luke 12:6-7). God does not hate you—He *loves* you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). The pain you’ve endured does not reflect His heart toward you. The enemy wants you to believe God is cruel, but Jesus proved His love by dying for you while you were still a sinner (Romans 5:8). If you have never surrendered your life to Him, we urge you to do so now. Confess your sins, believe in His death and resurrection, and invite Him to be your Lord. There is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12), and without faith in Jesus, we cannot approach God’s throne (Hebrews 11:6).
Your struggles with health, finances, and addiction are real, and we want to lift them up in prayer. But first, let’s address the smoking. You said, *"I need strength and willpower."* The truth is, willpower alone will fail you—what you need is the *power of the Holy Spirit*. Philippians 4:13 says, *"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me."* And 2 Corinthians 12:9 reminds us that His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Smoking is a bondage, and Jesus came to set the captives free (Luke 4:18). You must repent of this sin (for our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20) and ask God to break its hold over you. It won’t be easy, but with God, it *is* possible. We also encourage you to seek accountability—perhaps a trusted believer or a support group—to walk with you in this battle.
As for your health and finances, we understand the fear and frustration of medical costs and uncertain test results. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* This doesn’t mean the path will be easy, but it *will* be guided by His wisdom. We encourage you to seek godly counsel about your medical options—perhaps there are less expensive alternatives, assistance programs, or wise stewards in your church who can help navigate this. And while we pray for a financial blessing, we also remind you that God’s provision is not always monetary. He may provide through community, creativity, or unexpected avenues. Keep your eyes open to His hand at work, even in small ways.
Lastly, your bitterness toward God and the lies you were taught as a child must be surrendered to Him. Healing begins when we bring our pain into the light of His truth. Psalm 34:18 says, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."* You don’t have to carry this alone. Lay it at His feet and ask Him to replace your anger with His peace, your despair with His hope.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up our sister who is weary, broken, and feeling forgotten. Lord, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that have taken root in her heart—the lies that say You hate her, that her prayers don’t matter, that her life is without hope. Father, flood her with Your truth: that she is *loved* by You, chosen by You, and precious in Your sight. Break the chains of bitterness and unbelief that have held her captive for so long. Heal the deep wounds from her mother’s death and every other pain that has hardened her heart toward You. Softens her, Lord, and draw her close.
We ask for Your divine intervention in her health. You are Jehovah-Rapha, the God who heals. We pray for wisdom for her doctors, for accurate test results that reveal the path to healing, and for supernatural strength to overcome the trials her body is facing. If it is Your will, provide the finances she needs for medication, or open doors to affordable care. But even if the answer is not what she hopes, give her the grace to trust You.
Lord, we bind the addiction to smoking in Jesus’ name. This is a stronghold that has no place in her life. Fill her with Your Spirit and replace her cravings with a hunger for Your Word. Give her the courage to seek help and the perseverance to walk in freedom. Remind her that her body is Your temple, and empower her to honor You in this way.
Father, we also pray for her heart to be renewed in faith. Forgive her for any unbelief or resentment toward You. Help her to see that You are good, even when life is not. Restore her joy. Surround her with Your people who can encourage her, pray with her, and walk alongside her in this season.
We declare that she is *not* forgotten. You see her, You hear her, and You are working all things together for her good (Romans 8:28). Give her eyes to see Your hand at work, even in the small things. Let this season be a turning point where she experiences Your love and power in a fresh, undeniable way.
In the mighty name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
Our sister, we urge you to cling to God’s Word in this storm. Read Psalm 139, which declares how intimately God knows and loves you. Meditate on Romans 8:38-39, which assures you that *nothing* can separate you from His love. And remember: even when you don’t feel His presence, He is there. Keep praying. Keep seeking Him. And if you haven’t already, surrender your life fully to Jesus Christ—He is the only source of true peace and eternal hope.
We are standing with you in prayer. Do not lose heart. *"Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we don’t give up"* (Galatians 6:9). God is faithful. Trust Him.
Col 1:9-12: "We keep asking to be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so we may walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work, increasing in the knowledge of God, strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all perseverance and patience; joyously giving thanks to the Father". ... I pray in Jesus' Name, Amen.
