Help

[Michelle]

I need much prayer. MUCH. Today I felt suicidal. Seriously so. It was the worst day I've ever had in my life, bar none. I cried, sobbed, travailed, and grieved. In fact, I've been grieving for weeks and months on end. I am waking up in the night, shaking. I feel like my heart is going to pound out of my chest. I'm in complete anguish. I have a lump in my throat, holding tears. My God, I am a mess. My physical heart is flip-flopping around in response to my emotional pain.

I can't take any more. I'm wondering if I could die from this pain. I really need a word from God, and either He is silent, or I am unable to hear. I have never been so tormented. I am losing it. I wouldn't ask for help--I am normally so private--if I wasn't desperate. I'm trapped inside my self and my life. Where is God? And why is He so nonchalant with me? Is He mad? Why doesn't He rescue? I'm groveling at His feet, begging for Him to move on my behalf, yet this. Maybe He will listen to you. Who knows? Is there any convincing God to do something He wants to withhold? Please intervene for me. I have known God intimately for years, and never experienced anything like this before in my life.

 

[teddybear]

I need much prayer. MUCH. Today I felt suicidal. Seriously so. It was the worst day I've ever had in my life, bar none. I cried, sobbed, travailed, and grieved. In fact, I've been grieving for weeks and months on end. I am waking up in the night, shaking. I feel like my heart is going to pound out of my chest. I'm in complete anguish. I have a lump in my throat, holding tears. My God, I am a mess. My physical heart is flip-flopping around in response to my emotional pain.

I can't take any more. I'm wondering if I could die from this pain. I really need a word from God, and either He is silent, or I am unable to hear. I have never been so tormented. I am losing it. I wouldn't ask for help--I am normally so private--if I wasn't desperate. I'm trapped inside my self and my life. Where is God? And why is He so nonchalant with me? Is He mad? Why doesn't He rescue? I'm groveling at His feet, begging for Him to move on my behalf, yet this. Maybe He will listen to you. Who knows? Is there any convincing God to do something He wants to withhold? Please intervene for me. I have known God intimately for years, and never experienced anything like this before in my life.

Father, as You are aware, I too have wondered if You are mad and have grovelled at You feet.

And, I too have posted prayers that sound sad and desperate.

And I too have waited in anguish for a mere hint of a word from You.

And, then I realize that You have always been there.

And You do love all of Your children. And, You have a mighty plan for us.

I come to realize that You do move in Your time. I pray that You will comfort Michelle during this time.

And tonight as I read this I KNOW that You love Michelle and want her life to heal. I pray for that for her now.

I pray that You put Your might plan into action now Lord to help her feel Your great love and mercy for her.

Help her to feel that peace beyond understanding that You have given me at times.

Help her with her sleep and with her emotional pain.

I pray that You will move on her behalf to heal her and her life.

I pray Father God that You will walk with her and carry her when she needs it and Lord please give Michelle hope,

and peace, and a renewed love for herself and her life. Help her to stay strong in You! Help her to feel Your love!

Give her people in her life that care for her, dear Lord.

I pray these things in Your precious Son's Jesus Holy name. Amen. xo bev.