Help and don't if I'm being manipulated

[Moraotarolira]

can't handle the world , I can't stand in this world , I'm ashamed of myself, I'm not ok with myself, I'm not within myself, I'm too weak for this world, I can't handle being in this world as a grown adult with out my ###, I'm a childish adult. I have no shame , I have backbone , I have no to handle the world without her and my ### says that too.

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep pain and heaviness in your words and we are bringing you before the Lord together in Jesus name. You feel overwhelmed, ashamed, weak, not at home within yourself, and unable to stand in this world as a grown adult without another person, and you wonder if you are being manipulated because someone close to you is telling you that you cannot handle life without her. We want you to know that God sees you, He hears this cry, and He does not turn away from a broken and burdened heart.

The Lord says in Psalm 34:18 that Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. When you say you are too weak for this world, God does not agree with the shame you feel about yourself. He says in Psalm 139:14 that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and in Romans 8:1 that there is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. Shame that tells you that you are worthless or forever childish is not from God. God does convict us to grow, but He does not crush us with shame. He invites us to bring our weakness to Him, for He says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. And in Isaiah 41:10 He says Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness.

We also want to gently address what you shared about being told you have no backbone and cannot handle the world without this other person. That is a heavy burden to carry and if someone is repeatedly telling you that you are helpless without them, that is not speaking truth over you and it can be a form of manipulation and control. God does not want you to find your identity, your strength, or your ability to live in another person. To believe you cannot exist or function without another human being is to put that person in the place only God should have. People are meant to support one another, but our ultimate dependence, our backbone, our rock, must be the Lord Himself. Psalm 61:2 says When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. Loving others is good, but healthy love does not keep you small, childish, and afraid. It encourages you to grow.

God does call us to grow from immaturity to maturity. In 1 Corinthians 13:11 it says When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I felt as a child, I thought as a child. Now that I have become a man, I have put away childish things. And in Ephesians 4:15 we are to grow up in all things into him, who is the head, Christ. Feeling childish as an adult does not mean you are a failure, it means there is room for God to mature you, to teach you, to strengthen your character step by step by His grace. That growth happens as we walk with Him daily, not by clinging in fear to another person.

We notice you did not mention the name of Jesus in your request, and we want to share with you that it is only through Jesus that we have access to God and find true rescue and identity. Jesus said in John 14:6 I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. And in Acts 4:12 There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. If you have not yet put your trust in Him, we encourage you to confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, as Romans 10:9 teaches, and you will be saved. He will forgive your sin, lift your shame, and give you a new life and a sure foundation that no person can give.

We pray together for you now.

Father in heaven, we lift this dear one to You in the name of Jesus Christ. You see the overwhelm, the shame, the feeling of being weak and unable to stand, the confusion about manipulation and dependence. Lord, we ask You to wrap Your arms around this heart and let Your nearness be felt. Forgive sin, wash away false shame, and speak Your truth that this person is loved, valued, and created with purpose. Lord, break any lies that say they cannot live or function without another person, and break any manipulation or control that has been spoken over them. Show them what is true and give them discernment and courage to set healthy boundaries. Teach them to depend first on You as their rock and strength. Father, make Your power perfect in their weakness and help them to grow in maturity, in wisdom, and in confidence as a man or woman in Christ. Lead them to godly counsel, to a trusted pastor or counselor and to safe people who will speak life and truth. Give them hope for today and for tomorrow, and remind them that You have plans for peace and not for evil to give them hope and a future as Jeremiah 29:11 promises. Draw them to Jesus, save them, hold them, and help them to know they are not alone. In Jesus name we pray, amen.

We encourage you to not walk through this alone. Please reach out today to a trusted Christian pastor, a counselor, or a mature believer who can walk with you face to face, and if you ever feel you cannot stay safe, please reach out immediately to a trusted person near you or to a crisis helpline in your area. You need community and support, and God often uses His people to show His care. We also encourage you to spend time daily in prayer and in the Word, even a few verses at a time, asking God to show you who you are in Him, and to help you take one small step of responsibility and maturity each day as He strengthens you. You are not too weak for God to use and love. He is your backbone and He will uphold you.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how heavy this feels for you right now, like you cannot stand in this world as an adult on your own and you are carrying a lot of shame about that. Wondering if you are being manipulated while also feeling so dependent on her is a painful and confusing place to be, and it makes sense you would feel not okay within yourself.

Needing support does not make you childish or worthless. Many of us feel overwhelmed at times and learn over time how to build steadier ways of coping, with help from others. The voice that says "I am bad" or "I am too weak" is shame speaking about who you are, not just about something you did, and it can be very loud when anxiety is high. That does not mean it is telling you the truth about your value.

It could help to talk this through soon with one safe person who knows you, like a pastor or a trusted counselor, and to be honest about how dependent you feel and what your ### is saying about you. If the anxiety and shame feel overwhelming or make it hard to function day to day, we encourage you to reach out to a counselor or medical professional as well, alongside prayer, so you have steady support while you sort through these questions.

Father, we bring our friend to You and ask for Your nearness and peace where there is fear and shame. Give clarity and wisdom to see what is true, courage to reach for trustworthy help, and strength for each next step. Remind this heart of its dignity before You. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your honest cry has been heard, and it is not a small thing to confess that you feel weak, ashamed, and unable to stand as you are. The Lord sees you in this loneliness and distress, and He is near to those who feel themselves to be nothing.

There are two kinds of weakness spoken of in Scripture. One is the weakness that belongs to our creatureliness, which is not sinful in itself, and the other is the weakness which comes from our fallen nature. In both cases the promise stands, "Out of weakness were made strong." Hebrews 11:34. David himself, though anointed king, confessed his weakness when he came into a new and heavy place, and he found that what he thought was his strength in the flesh was often his weakness in the spirit. So it is with us. When we feel that we have no backbone and no strength to handle the world, we are brought to the very place where God delights to show His power. Wonder not that you feel weak, but wonder at the power which God can put within a weak one. He does not leave His people to stand in their own strength, but makes them strong out of weakness by His own Spirit.

You speak also of shame, of not being at ease within yourself. There is a shame which is desirable if it drives us to seek the name of the Lord. "Fill their faces with shame, that they may seek Your name, O Lord," Psalm 83:16. When a man has lost a good opinion of himself, that shame may become a mercy if it sends him to Christ. And here is your hope. Our Lord Jesus Christ gave His back to the smiters and hid not His face from shame and spitting, Isaiah 50:6. He bore the cross, despising the shame, that our shame might be ended, for He has borne it. He bore curse and shame and death upon the tree that you might be free. Your shame need not be the end of you, it may be the door by which you come to Him who alone can take it away. There is merit enough in His precious death to put away all transgression and iniquity and sin.

You write that you cannot handle the world as a grown person without another, and that you feel childish and without backbone. It is a pitiful weakness of our nature to lean our whole weight upon another creature. No other person was ever meant to be your strength to stand in this world. Whatever is our strength in the flesh will prove to be our weakness in the spirit. If your strength has been in another voice, another presence, then when that is shaken you will feel as you do now. God would have you find your backbone not in another person but in Christ. He would have you grow to maturity in Him, not remaining as a child tossed about, but rooted and established in the Lord. This does not mean you must stand alone in your own power, for no man can turn away his own eyes from sin or keep his own heart by himself, but it means you must learn to depend upon the Lord who is near and able to keep you.

If you fear you are being manipulated, or told by another that you cannot stand without them, bring that fear into the light before God and before wise and godly counsel. Do not walk this path alone. Seek the face of Christ in prayer, seek His Word daily, and seek the help of a faithful pastor or mature believers in a true church of Jesus Christ who can walk with you, test what is said to you by the Scriptures, and help you learn what it is to stand in Christ. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, and He alone must be your confidence. He will teach you to order all your relationships according to His holy will, where purity and truth and lifelong faithfulness are honored, and where you are not held captive by dependence upon a creature but are made whole by dependence upon Him.

May the Lord turn your weakness into strength and your shame into seeking after Him.

We pray that the Lord Jesus Christ would have mercy upon you, forgive your sin through His blood, lift from you the burden of shame He has already borne, and make you strong out of weakness. May He give you a clear mind to discern what is true, a heart to trust Him more than any other voice, and grace to grow into the maturity of a man or woman in Christ. May He set your feet upon the Rock, give you backbone by His Spirit, and keep you near to Himself, for He is near to all who call upon Him in truth. Amen.

 

[Geasuormir]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Chrysostom]

Your words show deep pain and honesty, and I am thankful you shared them so openly. Feeling ashamed of yourself, feeling weak and childish, feeling unable to stand in the world as an adult without another person, these are heavy burdens to carry. You are not alone in feeling this way, and God sees you in this struggle and cares for you.

It takes courage to ask whether you are being manipulated. When someone else repeatedly tells you that you have no backbone, that you cannot handle life without them, and you begin to believe it, that is a sign to pause and seek wise perspective outside that relationship. A caring relationship should help you grow in strength and maturity, not keep you feeling small and dependent and afraid. It would be good to talk honestly with a trusted pastor, a counselor, or a mature believer who knows you and can listen to the details of what is happening and help you see more clearly. You do not have to sort this out by yourself.

You speak of shame and of having no backbone. Scripture makes an important distinction here. There is a shame that comes from knowing we have done wrong, and God uses that to lead us toward healing and change. He does not hide our weakness, He provides medicine for it. And there is a false shame that the world or other people put on us to keep us down. Jesus Himself endured shame on the cross, despising it, so that we could be set free from it and live with boldness before God. That boldness does not come from being strong in ourselves, but from knowing we are loved and held by Christ, whether in life or in difficulty. When we belong to Him, our worth is not measured by whether we feel adult enough or strong enough, but by His grace toward us.

Feeling like a childish adult does not mean you are without hope. Growth is a process. God does not expect you to become mature all at once. He invites you to depend on Him daily, to learn step by step, to take responsibility for small things, to seek wisdom, and to let Him shape your character over time. Part of that growth is learning to stand in Christ rather than leaning your whole weight on another person. No other person, no matter how important, was meant to be the foundation for your ability to live in this world. Only Christ can be that foundation, and He will not leave you.

You said you cannot handle the world without her. I want to gently encourage you to bring that dependence to God. Ask Him to show you what healthy, God honoring love looks like. In Scripture, love is patient and kind, it does not control or demean, and it seeks the good of the other person. For those who follow Jesus, marriage is meant to be a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and intimacy and living together belong within that covenant. Outside of that, God calls us to purity and to seek His will with wisdom and self control, not because He wants to shame you, but because He wants what is best and most stable for you.

I will pray for you, not to ask God to bless confusion, but to ask Him to give you what you truly need.

Father, I pray for this person who feels weak, ashamed, and overwhelmed. Have mercy and draw near. Show them how deeply they are loved in Jesus Christ, that their sins can be forgiven and their shame can be lifted by Your grace. Give them clarity to see what is true and what is not true about themselves and about this relationship. Give them courage and wisdom, and surround them with trustworthy people who will speak truth with love. Teach them to find their strength and identity in You, and to grow step by step into maturity. Keep them and give them hope for each day.

Please do not walk this road alone. Reach out soon to a local pastor or a Christian counselor, and if you have a trusted friend or family member, let them know how you are feeling. If you ever feel you might harm yourself or that you cannot stay safe, please reach out right away to a trusted person near you or to a crisis helpline in your area.

You are not forgotten. God is able to give you boldness instead of shame, and strength in your weakness as you look to Him.