L
Lizzy_Pie
Guest
Hello
My name is Elizabeth. I am a 22 year old music education major. At the moment I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I became a music education major not for myself but for my parents, and to make my family look good. I love music. I love to sing and that’s where my heart is. God gave me a beautiful voice and I want to use it. If I could have a career singing classical music it would be my dream, but I feel as dreams are slowly being pulled away from me. I love kids but I am not ready to fully commit myself to them. Neither can I see myself teaching, honestly. I’ve lied to myself trying to fool myself into believing that I want this too. Though my problem seems small to some I feel as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders. My heart hurts, and I can feel the pain not only inside but outside as well. The stress and pain is making my body ache. I fear that my life is hanging in the balance as well. I do not feel as if I have any control over my life and that there not any way I can change it. I sometimes think of about dying and how much lighter my load would be if I could disappear. I am very afraid because I entertain these thoughts so much I feel that one day I might give into them. I feel a lot of hopelessness at the moment. I’m not sure if I am conveying what I am trying to say well, but I am asking that you please join in agreement and pray that I will be able to reach my goal being a classical singer and that if I am meant to teach that I will grow to love it and be a good one. Also if you could pray for my mental strength. I hope I do now sound selfish but I feel as if no one will listen to me and I just want to be heard. I feel such guilt for sounding this way seeing that I call myself a Christian. I’ve fallen so many times but this time I wonder if I will be able to get back up because I feel like I’m loosing the thing that keeps me going and that Hope. God Bless you and Thank You
My name is Elizabeth. I am a 22 year old music education major. At the moment I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I became a music education major not for myself but for my parents, and to make my family look good. I love music. I love to sing and that’s where my heart is. God gave me a beautiful voice and I want to use it. If I could have a career singing classical music it would be my dream, but I feel as dreams are slowly being pulled away from me. I love kids but I am not ready to fully commit myself to them. Neither can I see myself teaching, honestly. I’ve lied to myself trying to fool myself into believing that I want this too. Though my problem seems small to some I feel as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders. My heart hurts, and I can feel the pain not only inside but outside as well. The stress and pain is making my body ache. I fear that my life is hanging in the balance as well. I do not feel as if I have any control over my life and that there not any way I can change it. I sometimes think of about dying and how much lighter my load would be if I could disappear. I am very afraid because I entertain these thoughts so much I feel that one day I might give into them. I feel a lot of hopelessness at the moment. I’m not sure if I am conveying what I am trying to say well, but I am asking that you please join in agreement and pray that I will be able to reach my goal being a classical singer and that if I am meant to teach that I will grow to love it and be a good one. Also if you could pray for my mental strength. I hope I do now sound selfish but I feel as if no one will listen to me and I just want to be heard. I feel such guilt for sounding this way seeing that I call myself a Christian. I’ve fallen so many times but this time I wonder if I will be able to get back up because I feel like I’m loosing the thing that keeps me going and that Hope. God Bless you and Thank You
