We hear the deep cry of your heart, and we join you in lifting this burden to the Lord, for He is the Father to the fatherless, the defender of widows, and the one who sets the lonely in families. Your pain is seen, and your longing for reconciliation with your children is understood. Let us first address the foundation of all prayer—our access to God is only through the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. You mentioned Jesus at the end of your prayer, and we praise God for that, for there is no other name under heaven by which we must be saved. *"There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved!"* (Acts 4:12, WEB). It is in His name alone that we boldly approach the throne of grace, and it is by His authority that we pray for your needs.
Your desire for your children to understand and forgive you is a godly one. The Bible reminds us that *"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother,’ which is the first commandment with a promise: ‘that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.’"* (Ephesians 6:1-3, WEB). However, we also know that children, like all of us, have free will, and their hearts must be turned by the Lord. You cannot force their forgiveness or understanding, but you can continue to love them, pray for them, and trust God to work in their lives. *"The king’s heart is in Yahweh’s hand like the water courses. He turns it wherever he desires."* (Proverbs 21:1, WEB). If God can turn the heart of a king, He can certainly soften the hearts of your children. We encourage you to keep praying for them, but also to release the outcome to the Lord. You have done what you could, and now you must trust Him to do what only He can do.
You mentioned the personality disorder of their father, and we understand this has been a source of pain for your family. The Bible calls us to *"bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ"* (Galatians 6:2, WEB), but it does not call us to endure abuse or remain in harmful situations. You sought safety and a better life, and that is not something to be ashamed of. The Lord desires for His children to live in peace and holiness. *"Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."* (1 Thessalonians 5:23, WEB). If leaving was the right decision for your well-being and that of your children, then you must trust that God will vindicate you in time. Your children may not understand now, but the Lord can reveal the truth to them in His timing.
We must also address your concerns about your brother-in-law and sister, who you say do not act as a pastor and first lady should. This is a serious matter, for those who teach and lead in the church are held to a higher standard. *"Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, knowing that we will receive heavier judgment."* (James 3:1, WEB). If they are living in hypocrisy, that is between them and God, but you are right to be cautious about placing your trust in them. The Bible warns us about false teachers and those who claim to represent Christ but live in contradiction to His Word. *"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravening wolves. By their fruits you will know them."* (Matthew 7:15-16, WEB). We encourage you to pray for them, but also to seek godly counsel and support elsewhere. Do not be unequally yoked with those who do not walk in integrity, for *"What fellowship has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB).
You expressed a deep longing for a husband, a family, and even specifically mentioned wanting a farmer or a preacher. We understand the desire for companionship and belonging, for God Himself said, *"It is not good for the man to be alone."* (Genesis 2:18, WEB). However, we must gently remind you that your worth and fulfillment are found first and foremost in Christ. A husband is a blessing, but he is not your savior—Jesus alone is. We encourage you to seek the Lord’s will in this area of your life. *"Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart."* (Psalm 37:4, WEB). This does not mean that God is a genie who grants our every wish, but when our desires align with His will, He is faithful to provide. If it is God’s will for you to remarry, He will bring a godly man into your life—a man who loves the Lord, leads his home in righteousness, and cherishes you as Christ cherishes the church. *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for her."* (Ephesians 5:25, WEB). Until then, we encourage you to cultivate contentment in Christ, for *"godliness with contentment is great gain."* (1 Timothy 6:6, WEB).
We also noticed your request for God to send you "what you need and deserve." We must be careful with this language, for none of us deserve God’s grace—it is a gift. *"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, that no one would boast."* (Ephesians 2:8-9, WEB). What we *need* is God’s mercy, His presence, and His guidance. What we *deserve* is judgment, but because of Christ, we receive grace instead. Let us always approach the Lord with humility, acknowledging that every good thing comes from His hand.
Now, let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift our sister before You, knowing that You are the God who sees her tears, hears her cries, and collects every sorrow in Your bottle. Lord, we ask that You would work mightily in the hearts of her children. Soften their hearts, Lord, and help them to see her through Your eyes. Remove any bitterness, resentment, or misunderstanding, and replace it with forgiveness, love, and reconciliation. Father, we know that You are the God who restores families, and we ask that You would bring healing where there has been brokenness. Give her wisdom, Lord, to know how to love her children well, and give her the words to speak that will bring life and not death.
Lord, we pray for protection over her—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Shield her from any harm that may come from her children’s father or from those who would seek to deceive or manipulate her. Father, expose any hypocrisy in the lives of those who claim to represent You but do not walk in Your ways. Bring conviction where it is needed, and raise up godly men and women in her life who will support her, encourage her, and point her to You.
Father, we ask that You would prepare her heart for whatever Your will is regarding marriage. If it is Your plan for her to remarry, we ask that You would bring a godly man into her life—a man who loves You, who will lead her spiritually, and who will cherish her as Christ cherishes the church. But Lord, even as we pray this, we ask that You would satisfy her deepest longings with Yourself. Help her to find her identity, worth, and fulfillment in You alone. Remove any fear or anxiety from her heart, and fill her with Your peace that surpasses all understanding.
Lord, forgive her where she has fallen short, and help her to walk in Your grace and truth. Give her the strength to resist temptation and to live a life that honors You. Provide for her needs, Father, and open doors of opportunity for her to serve You and to be a light in this world. Help her to trust You completely, knowing that You are working all things together for her good.
We thank You, Lord, for Your unfailing love and for the sacrifice of Your Son, Jesus Christ, through whom we have access to Your throne. We pray all these things in the mighty and precious name of Jesus, our Savior and Redeemer. Amen.
Finally, we encourage you to continue seeking the Lord daily through prayer, reading His Word, and fellowshipping with believers who will uplift you and hold you accountable. *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* (Proverbs 3:5-6, WEB). Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, and trust that He is writing your story—one of redemption, restoration, and hope. You are not forgotten, and you are deeply loved.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request for healing and deliverance according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God Loves You. Thank You Jesus!!!
Wisdom is the principal thing; thing therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding. Exalt her and she will promote you. She will bring you honor when you embrace her. She will place on your head an ornament of grace; A crown of glory she will deliver to you (Proverbs 4: 7-9). 
