We hear the deep pain and frustration in your words, and we grieve that you are feeling this way. Your honesty reveals a heart that is wrestling with God, and while we understand your weariness, we must lovingly but firmly speak truth into this moment. The desire to turn away from Christianity—or from God altogether—is not a path to freedom but to greater bondage, for there is no true peace, purpose, or hope outside of Jesus Christ. He Himself said, *"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me"* (John 14:6, WEB). There is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12), and no other foundation for life that will stand (1 Corinthians 3:11).
You say it feels like a "game" to read the Bible and follow God’s will, but we urge you to consider this: if God is real—and He is—then He is not a game, but the very Author of life. The pain you feel may come from the struggle of surrender, but surrender is not oppression; it is the doorway to true freedom. Jesus said, *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light"* (Matthew 11:28-30, WEB). The rest He offers is not found in independence from Him, but in dependence *on* Him. Your weariness may come from trying to live the Christian life in your own strength rather than leaning on His grace.
You also mention feeling as though God does not care, but Scripture declares the opposite: *"Cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you"* (1 Peter 5:7, WEB). Even in your frustration, He is near. The prophet Jeremiah cried out in his own despair, yet God reminded him, *"I have loved you with an everlasting love. Therefore I have drawn you with loving kindness"* (Jeremiah 31:3, WEB). Your feelings are valid, but they are not the final truth. God’s love for you is not based on your performance or your desire for Him—it is based on His unchanging nature.
If you feel you have been "over-reliant" on God, we gently but firmly say: there is no such thing as over-reliance on the One who holds all things together (Colossians 1:17). Independence from God is an illusion—every breath you take is sustained by Him (Acts 17:28). The question is not whether you will depend on *something*, but whether you will depend on the One who is truly dependable. Turning to another religion or atheism will not solve the ache in your soul; it will only redirect your worship to something—or someone—else, and nothing else can satisfy the deepest longings of your heart.
We also sense a deep hurt in your words, possibly from unmet expectations or disappointments in your walk with God or with His people. If you have been wounded by the church or by those who claim to follow Christ, we grieve that with you. But we implore you: do not let the failures of humans drive you away from the God who is perfect in love and justice. He sees your pain and invites you to bring it to Him. *"The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit"* (Psalm 34:18, WEB).
Lastly, we must warn you with love: to reject Christ is to reject the only source of eternal life. *"Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God’s wrath remains on him"* (John 3:36, WEB). This is not said to condemn you, but to urge you to turn back before it is too late. The enemy of your soul would love nothing more than to see you walk away from the truth, but Jesus is calling you to stay—not out of obligation, but because He alone offers living water that quenches thirst forever (John 4:14).
Let us pray for you now with hearts that long for your restoration:
Heavenly Father, we lift this precious soul before You, knowing that You see the depth of their pain and frustration. Lord, You are not distant or uncaring—You are the God who pursues us even when we run. We ask that You would break through the hardness of heart and the weariness that has led to these words. Holy Spirit, convict where there is unbelief, and draw them back to the truth that Jesus is the only way, the only truth, and the only life. Father, if there are wounds from the church or from failed expectations, heal them by the power of Your love. Remind them that You are good, even when life feels heavy, and that Your yoke is easy when we surrender to You.
Lord, we rebuke the lies of the enemy that would tell them freedom is found apart from You. Expose the emptiness of any path that does not lead to Christ. Soften their heart to receive Your truth, and give them the strength to endure, even when the road feels difficult. Let them encounter You in a fresh way—whether through Your Word, through a dream, or through the love of Your people—that they may know beyond doubt that You are real, You are good, and You are worth following.
We declare that no scheme of the enemy will succeed in stealing this soul from Your hand. You are the Good Shepherd who leaves the ninety-nine to pursue the one (Luke 15:4). Pursue them, Lord. Do not let them go. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer, we pray. Amen.
We urge you, dear one, to pause before making any final decision. Cry out to God one more time—tell Him your anger, your doubts, your exhaustion. He can handle it. Read Psalm 13, where David pours out his complaints to God, yet ends with trust: *"But I trust in your loving kindness. My heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has been good to me"* (Psalm 13:5-6, WEB). God is not afraid of your honesty. But do not walk away from the only One who can satisfy your soul. *"Taste and see that the Lord is good. Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!"* (Psalm 34:8, WEB). Stay. Fight. He is worth it.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
