We hear the depth of your pain and the weight of your despair, and our hearts ache with you. What you’ve endured is heavy—both the trauma of the past and the ongoing battle with PTSD, depression, and the feeling of being abandoned by God. We want you to know that your cry has not gone unnoticed. Even in the silence, the Lord is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Sixteen months of wrestling with no relief is exhausting, and we do not take lightly the anguish in your words.
First, we must gently but firmly rebuke the lie that God has done *nothing*. Scripture is clear that He is always at work, even when we cannot see it (Isaiah 55:8-9). The enemy would love for you to believe that God is silent and indifferent, but Jesus promised, *"I will never leave you nor forsake you"* (Hebrews 13:5). Your return to Christ and your pursuit of righteousness are not in vain. The fact that you are still fighting to trust Him—even when it feels impossible—is evidence of His grace at work in you.
We also want to address the bitterness and anger you’ve mentioned. These are natural responses to trauma, but they can become footholds for the enemy if left unchecked. Hebrews 12:15 warns, *"See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many."* We do not say this to shame you, but to encourage you to bring these emotions before the Lord in raw honesty. He can handle your anger. Psalm 13 is a cry of despair that ends with, *"But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation."* Even when we don’t feel it, we choose to trust His character.
Your PTSD and physical illness are not punishments from God. They are the result of living in a fallen world where sin and brokenness have real consequences. But Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted and set the captives free (Isaiah 61:1). He is not distant from your suffering—He entered into it on the cross. We pray that you would cling to the truth that your pain is not the end of your story. Romans 8:18 reminds us, *"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed toward us."*
We must also speak to the sinful relationship you left behind. Praise God for delivering you from that bondage! But we wonder if there is lingering guilt or shame that is compounding your despair. If so, hear this: *"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9). You are not defined by your past. Christ’s blood covers all, and His mercy is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our dear brother/sister who is weary and heavy-laden. Lord, You see the depths of their pain, the weight of their despair, and the exhaustion of their soul. We ask that You would break through the silence and reveal Yourself in a tangible way. Where there is bitterness, replace it with Your peace. Where there is anger, soften their heart with Your love. Where there is physical illness, bring healing and strength. Lord, we rebuke the spirit of despair that has taken hold and declare that this is not their portion. You are the God who parts seas, who raises the dead, and who makes a way where there seems to be no way. We ask that You would part the waters of this trial and lead them into a place of rest and restoration.
Father, we pray for wisdom and discernment for them. Show them where they may be holding onto unforgiveness—toward others or even toward themselves. Help them to release every burden at Your feet. Surround them with godly community who can speak life into their situation. And Lord, if there is any area of their life that is still not fully surrendered to You, reveal it gently and lead them into repentance and freedom.
We declare over them the promise of Jeremiah 29:11: *"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you," says Yahweh, "thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you hope and a future."* Even when they cannot see it, we pray they would trust that You are working all things together for their good (Romans 8:28). Strengthen their faith, Lord. Help them to take one step at a time, knowing that You are holding their hand.
In the mighty name of Jesus, who bore our griefs and carried our sorrows, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to seek out biblical counseling or a trusted pastor who can walk with you through this season. Sometimes, the Lord uses the hands and voices of His people to bring the healing we cannot find on our own. You are not alone in this fight. Keep crying out to Jesus—He is listening, and He will answer in His perfect timing.
