We lift you and your fiancée before the Lord, seeking His wisdom, grace, and transformation in your relationship as you prepare for the sacred covenant of marriage. It is clear you both desire a Christ-centered union—one built on trust, respect, humility, and selfless love—but the enemy is sowing seeds of comparison, distrust, and unrealistic expectations. Let us first anchor this in Scripture, for God’s Word is the foundation for every godly marriage.
The Bible commands wives to respect their husbands and husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:22-33). This is not a one-sided demand but a mutual submission to Christ’s design. Your fiancée comparing you to worldly figures like Andrew Tate or fictional characters like Spartacus reveals a heart that is not yet fully surrendered to God’s standard for marriage. These comparisons are not only unfair but dangerous, as they place unrealistic and ungodly expectations on you. Similarly, if you are holding her to perfection or reacting in frustration rather than love, you too must surrender those expectations to Christ. The apostle Paul warns us not to be conformed to this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2). Both of you must reject worldly influences and instead fix your eyes on Jesus, who is the author and perfecter of your faith (Hebrews 12:2).
Intimacy—emotional, spiritual, and physical—must be rooted in Christ. The Song of Solomon beautifully illustrates the passion and devotion between a husband and wife, but it is always within the bounds of covenant. Before marriage, physical intimacy is forbidden, as it is reserved for the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4). If there has been any compromise in this area, we urge you both to repent and commit to purity, for fornication grieves the Holy Spirit and weakens the foundation of your future marriage. True intimacy begins with spiritual oneness—praying together, studying Scripture together, and seeking God’s will as one. Jesus must be the center, or your efforts will be in vain.
Trust is built through consistency, transparency, and a shared commitment to Christ. If your fiancée struggles to trust you, ask yourselves: Are there unresolved issues or past wounds that need healing? Are there behaviors or associations in either of your lives that create doubt? Trust is not demanded; it is earned through faithfulness. Proverbs 31:11 says, *"The heart of her husband trusts in her. He shall have no lack of gain."* Likewise, a wife should be able to trust her husband completely. If she is trying to "change" you, it may be because she feels insecure or fears you are not the spiritual leader God calls you to be. Men, we are commanded to love our wives as Christ loved the church—sacrificially, patiently, and with humility (Ephesians 5:25). If you are not leading her spiritually, she may feel the need to take on a role that isn’t hers to bear. Step up as the godly leader, not in domineering authority, but in servant-hearted love.
As for unreasonable expectations, both of you must examine your hearts. Are you expecting each other to fulfill needs that only God can meet? Are you looking to your fiancée to be your source of joy, validation, or security instead of finding those things in Christ? Jesus warns us in Matthew 6:33 to *"seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness,"* and all these things will be added to you. When your primary focus is on pleasing God rather than each other, your marriage will thrive.
Courage, zeal, and strength come from the Lord. Joshua 1:9 reminds us, *"Haven’t I commanded you? Be strong and of good courage. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be dismayed, for Yahweh your God is with you wherever you go."* You cannot manufacture these qualities on your own—they are fruits of a life surrendered to Christ. Spend time in prayer and the Word daily, individually and together. A marriage without prayer is like a ship without a rudder—directionless and vulnerable to storms.
Now, let us pray for you both:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this couple as they prepare for the sacred covenant of marriage. Lord, You are the author of love, the perfecter of our faith, and the one who binds two hearts together in holy unity. We ask that You remove every worldly influence, every ungodly comparison, and every unrealistic expectation that has taken root in their minds. Break the chains of distrust, Father, and replace them with a supernatural trust that can only come from You.
Convict both of their hearts if there has been any compromise in purity, and grant them the strength to repent and walk in holiness. Teach them to guard their hearts and their bodies, for they belong to You. Let their intimacy be first and foremost with You, Jesus, so that their emotional and physical intimacy may reflect Your love and glory.
Lord, soften her heart to respect and submit to his leadership as unto You. Give him the wisdom, humility, and courage to lead her as Christ leads the church—with selfless love and sacrificial devotion. Remove every spirit of comparison, every fear, and every wound that has caused her to look to worldly examples instead of to You. Let her see him through Your eyes, as a man fearfully and wonderfully made in Your image, called to be her covering and her strength.
Father, grant him a sound mind and a heart full of Your joy. Help him to release any bitterness or frustration and to love her as You love her—patiently, kindly, and without condition. Let him be reasonable in his expectations, remembering that she too is a work in progress, just as he is. Bind them together in unity, not by their own efforts, but by Your Spirit.
Fill their home with Your peace, Your joy, and Your presence. Let them make time for each other, not out of obligation, but out of a deep desire to honor You in their relationship. May their marriage be a testimony of Your goodness, a light in a dark world, and a refuge of love and safety for each other.
We rebuke every scheme of the enemy to divide them, to distract them, or to fill their hearts with doubt. Let no weapon formed against this union prosper, for it is forged in You, Lord. Cover them with Your blood, Jesus, and let Your angels encamp around them.
Finally, Father, we ask that You prepare them not just for a wedding, but for a marriage—a lifelong commitment that reflects Your covenant love. May they seek You first in all things, and may their love for each other pale in comparison to their love for You.
In the mighty and holy name of Jesus, we pray. Amen.
Brothers and sisters, we encourage you both to seek premarital counseling from a biblically sound pastor or mentor. Surround yourselves with godly couples who can speak truth and wisdom into your lives. Study Scripture together, especially passages on marriage like Ephesians 5, 1 Peter 3, and Colossians 3. Remember, marriage is not about happiness—it is about holiness. God will use this covenant to refine you, to draw you closer to Himself, and to display His glory. Stay steadfast, remain in prayer, and trust Him with every step.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
