Feelings of sadness and loneliness

[Grace23]

I got sober 6 months ago from alcohol. I was doing really good but I noticed I had a lot of distractions and I wasn't spending time with God. Even though I was sober I still felt emotionally dry, I also have a sponsor and she is a Faith-based sponsor and she teaches from the Bible and I like that she does that but deep inside I don't feel like it's the right sponsor for me. I just don't feel a strong pull from her or like a drive to do the things I need to. I also moved into a sober house she runs with less women and less chaotic but I do feel a bit lonely. I've tried really hard to stay sober but yesterday I relapsed. I got into a disagreement with my mom, it was a small one but I got really upset and I was kind of mean to her and after that I feel like it kind of just got inside of me and ruined the rest of my day. In the moment of my anger I felt so justified but then a little bit later on I felt really bad because I knew I hurt her feelings but I was too prideful to apologize in the moments so after that I was going to go home but instead I was waiting inside of a restaurant for my ride and I had that urge and it was so strong, all I could think about was drinking. I sat there first 45 min contemplating my decision and thinking of all the reasons I shouldn't do it and fighting with my spirit to not given to the emotion but I couldn't I just couldn't anymore and I gave in and went to a bar. I didn't think I'd come back to the house because I thought I was gonna want to keep drinking for weeks and I'd get kicked out but after I got drunk I couldn't stop thinking and I felt so alone. I even texted my ex the one I was with last time I relapsed and things were horrible with him, I turned into a really angry person and was very mean to him. I knew texting him was a bad idea but even though I knew that and I knew that it would have been a really bad path to go down that I would feel so much worse afterwards I still did it. Although I never got a response from him he never messaged me back and I think God that he didn't message me back last night because I was so vulnerable and I would have regretted it. But he did text me back today asking who it was and then he called the number I didn't respond or answer the phone. I just keep thinking about what kind of bad things would happen if I responded so I was able to stop myself from replying but it was really hard I thought about it for a couple hours when I was at work and it bothered me cuz I felt like I had no control but since I was sober when he replied I was strong enough to not answer. I'm not gonna lie I still feel really weak. Last night after I did all that n got drunk I knew I didn't want to stay drinking and ruin everything I worked for so I came back home and knew I didn't wanna drink again and I told my sponsor the truth today about what I did and she said I can stay. I'm grateful I get second chance but I'm just feeling really lonely and empty and sad right now.. my heart hurts really bad and I need God and the Holy Spirit to take over and fill me. I pray in Jesus name that you heal my hurting heart, fill me with the Holy Spirit and guide me in the path of righteousness. Amen.

 

[Articles]

We hear the raw honesty in your struggle, and we stand with you in this moment of brokenness, lifting you up before the throne of grace. Your relapse does not define you—what defines you is the courage to face it, confess it, and seek restoration. The enemy would love nothing more than for you to believe the lie that you’ve failed beyond repair, but Scripture declares, *"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit"* (Psalm 34:18). You are not alone in this battle, and your willingness to turn back to God even after stumbling is evidence of His work in you.

Your feelings of loneliness and emotional dryness are valid, but they also reveal a deeper truth: you were created for communion with God, and no amount of sobriety, sponsorship, or sober living can fill the void that only He can satisfy. The distractions you mentioned are not accidental—they are tactics of the enemy to pull you away from the Source of your strength. Jesus warned, *"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly"* (John 10:10). That abundant life is found in Him alone, not in temporary fixes, unhealthy relationships, or even well-meaning but misaligned spiritual guidance.

We must gently but firmly address the pattern of turning to your ex during moments of vulnerability. This is not just a "bad idea"—it is a dangerous temptation that opens the door to sin, emotional destruction, and regression in your recovery. Scripture is clear: *"Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body"* (1 Corinthians 6:18). Even the *thought* of reconnecting with someone who has been a source of toxicity in your life is a snare. The fact that you resisted this time is a victory, but we must pray for complete deliverance from this cycle. You are not weak for feeling the pull—you are human. But you are also a child of God, and *"No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it"* (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Your relationship with your sponsor is another area that requires prayerful discernment. It is not wrong to feel that someone may not be the right fit for you spiritually, but we must examine why. Is it because her teaching convicts you in areas you’re not ready to surrender? Or is it because you’re seeking a version of faith that doesn’t challenge you? Proverbs 27:17 says, *"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another."* A sponsor should push you toward holiness, not just sobriety. If you’re feeling stagnant, it may be time to seek God’s will about whether to continue under her guidance or find someone who aligns more closely with where He is leading you. But do not make this decision out of loneliness or frustration—seek the Lord’s wisdom first.

Your relapse was triggered by anger and pride, two sins that Scripture warns against repeatedly. *"Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath"* (Ephesians 4:26). The moment you refused to apologize to your mother, you gave the enemy a foothold. Pride is a deadly sin because it blinds us to our own faults and justifies our wrongdoing. But God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Your willingness to confess to your sponsor was an act of humility, and that is where true healing begins.

Now, let us pray together:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, interceding for our sister who is fighting a battle for her soul. Lord, we thank You that she has not given up, that even in her weakest moment, she turned back to You. We ask that You would break the chains of addiction, loneliness, and emotional emptiness that have bound her. Fill her with Your Holy Spirit, Lord, until there is no room for anything else. *"Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me"* (Psalm 51:10).

Father, we rebuke the spirit of pride that led her to justify her anger and withhold forgiveness from her mother. Soften her heart, Lord, and give her the courage to humble herself and seek reconciliation. We also rebuke the spirit of lust and unhealthy attachment that draws her back to her ex. Sever every ungodly tie, Lord, and let her find her identity and worth in You alone. *"But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, for its lusts"* (Romans 13:14).

We pray for discernment regarding her sponsorship and living situation. If this is not where You want her, make a way out. If it is, give her the strength to press in and find community. Surround her with godly women who will sharpen her, encourage her, and hold her accountable. Lord, we ask that You would heal her hurting heart and replace her sadness with Your joy. *"The joy of the Lord is your strength"* (Nehemiah 8:10).

Finally, Father, we declare that she is not defined by her relapse but by Your love for her. Remind her daily that *"if we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"* (1 John 1:9). Strengthen her resolve to walk in sobriety, not by her own power, but by the power of Your Spirit. We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, the name above every name, the only name by which we are saved. Amen.

You are not alone in this. The same God who parted the Red Sea, raised Lazarus from the dead, and conquered the grave is fighting for you. Your story is not over—it is being rewritten by the Author of redemption. Keep pressing into Him. Keep seeking His face. And remember, *"He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ"* (Philippians 1:6). We are standing with you, praying with you, and believing with you for complete victory.

 

[hostadmin]

We're here for you, just as you've been honest with us. It's okay to feel lonely and empty, but remember, God is always near. He's promised, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5). Even in the darkest moments, He's there, walking beside you.

We understand that your relationship with your sponsor might not feel like the right fit right now, but let's not rush into any decisions. Instead, let's pray that God gives you clarity and wisdom. If it's His will for you to continue with her, then He'll strengthen that relationship. If not, He'll make a way for you to find the right support.

Your relapse was a setback, but it doesn't define you. It's a reminder that you're human, and that's okay. What's important is that you're turning back to God, confessing your sins, and seeking His forgiveness. Remember, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).

Let's pray together:

"Dear Lord, we come to You with our ###'s burden. We ask that You comfort her in her loneliness and fill her with Your Holy Spirit. Help her to trust in You, even in her weakness. Give her the strength to resist temptations and to make choices that honor You. We pray for wisdom regarding her relationships, and we ask that You would heal her hurting heart. Remind her of Your love and faithfulness, and help her to walk in Your ways. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."