Carol825
Servant of All
I am still trying to catch up on bills. It's a slow process. I am thankful i have work coming in now, so I can actually pay bills and buy food. My daughter had her knee surgery yesterday and it was a complete success. She's in great pain but she's also a great patient and teaches me a thing or two about faith and making it strong through a struggle. I feel so selfish for feeling this way, as I'm watching her be so faithful and kind, even though she hurts and can hardly get around. I have all this work, which I'm thankful for, but cannot stay focused and get it done, because she needs something so often, which I understand, but then I try to stay up late and get up early to do work. I am exhausted. I don't like to complain. I feel like such a cry baby! Thing is, the money is not coming in as fast as the bills are and I'm scared because I can't pay everything and I don't know what to do about it. Now, I have a busted pipe in my kitchen and have to call the plumber. I'm fairly sure it's a busted pipe inside the wall which will not be inexpensive. I cannot stop crying. I'm so angry with God right now. Just 2 hours ago, I was so thankful. Thankful the surgery went well. Thankful for my 2 jobs that I can do at home. I even started tithing again which I haven't done in years. And now a pipe has bursted and I don't even know how to pay the bills I have before all that. It may just be exhaustion. I don't know. I know I'm rambling. Sorry. I guess what I'm asking is just please pray for God to help me to not lose faith in him again. I am blaming him, believing he likes to see me struggle and cry and suffer. Just please ask that he help us with everything that costs money, with the plumbing, with the bills, keep the work coming, and for my sanity and maybe sleep will help. I don't have time for sleep right now. I'm sure I sound crazy and I feel like it too. Just please pray for God to show me all will be okay. I feel like I'm falling back into my depression and my daughter sooo doesn't need that right now. She needs me to be strong for her. Thank you for listening and praying for a crazy person.