cesar00
Banned
My Dear Jesus , My Friends and Prayer Warriors, it is now noon of day eight of my fast. I feel okay, sometimes I am a bit dizzy or sleepy but in general my health is okay. I believe my sugar level has gone down a bit but I am not sure because I do not have strips to test it. I have added excercise to the meditation and reading. I could say that nothing has changed, that I am in the same position and situation I was in eight days ago but this would not be entirely true. I have not received any money during this time, this is true. But,we have had food to eat everyday and when we have not had any money to buy it someone has come and invited us to their home for a meal. I have been able to buy small amounts of gas to keep us going, with the exception of yesterday when I ran out of gas and my wife had a little money which kept us going until now. Everybody has pitched in, we have all pulled out a couple of dollars here and another there and we have survived until now. We have electricty, we have water, we have cable and the nternet has been working for some time now. I have been able to give Victoria a few biucks to eat at school every day too. The only exception is this morning when I had to borrow some money from a friend so she could eat and I could pump some gas into our car. The rest of the time we have been on our own with whatever we had in reserve and in pockets and purses. So the miracle is working, I do not care what people say, we have survived all this time without an income, without paying any bills and we are strong and full of faith and confidence. Aleluyah!!!
Apparently the article writing and translation market is dead in the world because I have not been able to land one single job since last November, all I have found are extremely small jobs which I have done but nothing that will really be meaninful to our situation. We are still completely broke and owing a lot of monwy but My Lord is with me I can ffeel Him working, I can feel Him besides me when I feel like letting go, when I feel that I am wasting time with this sacrifice. I know My Lord Jesus is preparing something big for me and my family, I beg Him for strength and courage to continue with my fast, I beg him for determination and faith to fight away the temptation to drop the ball and let the waters surround and drown me. I have no way out of the hole I am in, the only light I see at the end of the tunnel comes from God, from His promises and commitments to those of us who serve Him faithfully.
Now I wonder if I am a faithful servant? Is this for real, am I really trying to get close to Him and learn more about His ways, am I really trying to be a better person and a better servant for Jesus Christ Our Lord? I look at myself and believe it is true, I believe what I am doing is real but I am not sure that I am going about it the right way. I sit and try to listen to God's voice in my ear, in my mind, sometimes the results are amazing, sometimes I believe it is my mind playing tricks on me, other times I know it is the Dark One trying to pry me away from this ROCK I am holding on to with all my strength and all my resolution and all my faith.
The days go by My Lord and I am afraid that one day this sacrifice I am making will not be a sacrifice anymore. that my body gets used to the lack of food, what then? What if this happens and Your Time has not come to bring me into the light away from the darkness, what will I do My Lord to continue showing You how much I love You and how much I am willing to sacrifice for You, for Your love and YOur forgiveness. Dear Jesus I need Your help desperately, you know that, nothing is happening, nothing is changing, what is it that You want or need from me to make sure that I love and serve You and only You? I know You have not asked for anything from me, ever, and even though You have not asked, You have given, many times, plenty of blessings, I am not cvomplaining My Lord I am asking for direction. I repeat what I have said and promised to you for eight dayus now, the fast and prayer will continue until You decide it is over, until You tell me it is enough. Dear Jesus my family is suffering, they are extremely restricted in their basic needs, I do not have work or the possibility of it, they are in the same position, It breaks my heart to see them go out in the street and online searching for work searching for anything just to return with their heads down and their hearts broken.
They should be happy, in college, enjoying their friends and working just to pay for their stuff, my children have abandoned their schools, they are looking for work so our family can survive. Dear Jesus they know You are here, they know what I am doing, they know that eventually all will be okay but they do not understand or even believe that one should sacrifice himself in this way to get a job, they see me go out on the street looking for work without food and they do not accept this. They are not true believers, they are free spirits, like You intended them to be. One day whenever they are ready and willing they will come before You and accept You as their king and master. Today this is not true, so they do not understand the suffering and pain they are going thorugh.Dear Jesus I beg You enlighten them, speak to them and let them know that You are here,with us and that all will be well, soon.
My Lord I do not blame You or anyone else for our problems. I do not believe that You test people or punish people, that makes no sense You are a God of love, mercy and peace. I believe Lord that You have given us choices in our lives and we have taken them, one or more of those on the way has led my family to wehere we now stand. Difficult situation require extreme solutions, I believe in my heart that this fast will help me understand what is going on and maybe where I went wrong.
Talk to me Lord, show me the way to You, show me the way to success.Dear Jesus You know I have no inetrest and no love for money. AAll I want is to give my children and wife a decent living and tthat they grow and prepare themselves for their future. If I had millions you know I would find someone to give them to. There are too many poor, hungry people in the world for me to store millions in a bank, I would find a way to spread the wealth, spread your love and mercy. Dear Jesus the fight continues, although I miss a step once in a while and want to lie down and die, it will not happen, this is the first time I have ever gotten the chance to look inside myself and to realize exactly who I am and how strong I can be when necessary. Even if I never get a job or any money to solve my financial problems, My Dear Jesus, the oportunity You have given me to see myself is price and reward enough. Thank you Jesus in You we trust.
Apparently the article writing and translation market is dead in the world because I have not been able to land one single job since last November, all I have found are extremely small jobs which I have done but nothing that will really be meaninful to our situation. We are still completely broke and owing a lot of monwy but My Lord is with me I can ffeel Him working, I can feel Him besides me when I feel like letting go, when I feel that I am wasting time with this sacrifice. I know My Lord Jesus is preparing something big for me and my family, I beg Him for strength and courage to continue with my fast, I beg him for determination and faith to fight away the temptation to drop the ball and let the waters surround and drown me. I have no way out of the hole I am in, the only light I see at the end of the tunnel comes from God, from His promises and commitments to those of us who serve Him faithfully.
Now I wonder if I am a faithful servant? Is this for real, am I really trying to get close to Him and learn more about His ways, am I really trying to be a better person and a better servant for Jesus Christ Our Lord? I look at myself and believe it is true, I believe what I am doing is real but I am not sure that I am going about it the right way. I sit and try to listen to God's voice in my ear, in my mind, sometimes the results are amazing, sometimes I believe it is my mind playing tricks on me, other times I know it is the Dark One trying to pry me away from this ROCK I am holding on to with all my strength and all my resolution and all my faith.
The days go by My Lord and I am afraid that one day this sacrifice I am making will not be a sacrifice anymore. that my body gets used to the lack of food, what then? What if this happens and Your Time has not come to bring me into the light away from the darkness, what will I do My Lord to continue showing You how much I love You and how much I am willing to sacrifice for You, for Your love and YOur forgiveness. Dear Jesus I need Your help desperately, you know that, nothing is happening, nothing is changing, what is it that You want or need from me to make sure that I love and serve You and only You? I know You have not asked for anything from me, ever, and even though You have not asked, You have given, many times, plenty of blessings, I am not cvomplaining My Lord I am asking for direction. I repeat what I have said and promised to you for eight dayus now, the fast and prayer will continue until You decide it is over, until You tell me it is enough. Dear Jesus my family is suffering, they are extremely restricted in their basic needs, I do not have work or the possibility of it, they are in the same position, It breaks my heart to see them go out in the street and online searching for work searching for anything just to return with their heads down and their hearts broken.
They should be happy, in college, enjoying their friends and working just to pay for their stuff, my children have abandoned their schools, they are looking for work so our family can survive. Dear Jesus they know You are here, they know what I am doing, they know that eventually all will be okay but they do not understand or even believe that one should sacrifice himself in this way to get a job, they see me go out on the street looking for work without food and they do not accept this. They are not true believers, they are free spirits, like You intended them to be. One day whenever they are ready and willing they will come before You and accept You as their king and master. Today this is not true, so they do not understand the suffering and pain they are going thorugh.Dear Jesus I beg You enlighten them, speak to them and let them know that You are here,with us and that all will be well, soon.
My Lord I do not blame You or anyone else for our problems. I do not believe that You test people or punish people, that makes no sense You are a God of love, mercy and peace. I believe Lord that You have given us choices in our lives and we have taken them, one or more of those on the way has led my family to wehere we now stand. Difficult situation require extreme solutions, I believe in my heart that this fast will help me understand what is going on and maybe where I went wrong.
Talk to me Lord, show me the way to You, show me the way to success.Dear Jesus You know I have no inetrest and no love for money. AAll I want is to give my children and wife a decent living and tthat they grow and prepare themselves for their future. If I had millions you know I would find someone to give them to. There are too many poor, hungry people in the world for me to store millions in a bank, I would find a way to spread the wealth, spread your love and mercy. Dear Jesus the fight continues, although I miss a step once in a while and want to lie down and die, it will not happen, this is the first time I have ever gotten the chance to look inside myself and to realize exactly who I am and how strong I can be when necessary. Even if I never get a job or any money to solve my financial problems, My Dear Jesus, the oportunity You have given me to see myself is price and reward enough. Thank you Jesus in You we trust.
