I wonder if you are born again?
The language of the kingdom of God speaks on this wise..."it is written" What is written? What God says about you as a born again believer.
The reason why I ask is your confession does not line up with the word of God, and in fact, resembles what the devil says. 'God doesn't care for you. Why serve Him, what has He done for you? Nothing ever gets better. Did God really say that you shouldn't eat from that tree? My sister calls it, 'dialoguing with the devil.'and sadly the majority of believers do it not realizing they are doing it. For this reason, scritpure tells us to cast down imaginations and every lofty thought that builds itself higher than the knowledge of God and bringing EVERY thought into CAPTIVITY to the obedience of Christ. So when a thought comes in, we need to be so in tuned with the word of God that we can dismiss any thought that is not born of His word and to cast it down. Otherwise it takes hold and if allowed will become a thought pattern/mindset that is contrary to the word of God.
Scripture tells us that Jesus came to give us life. I encourage you, Mike to call out to the Lord to reveal HImself to you in a real, living way. Do it as a small child who asks their father for a piece of bread and expecting father to give him a piece of bread and not a nail.
Father, I thank you for Mike and for his honesty in how he is 'feeling'. I ask for life for him, and for revelation of who you are. Give him the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, that Mike's eyes be flooded with light that he might know what is the hope of Your calling for his life. Bless him with restoration and shalom. May he turn his heart towards you, submitting himself to You, and as he does, he is resisting the devil and the devil flees from him.
Mike you are looking through natural eyes/physical eyes, but as born again believers, Christians, we are no longer living in a physical world, but living from a spiritual world, for scripture tells us we are no longer in the flesh but in the spirit. We are not wrestling with flesh and blood but the demonic realm in heavenly places.
2Ki 6:15 And when the servant of the man of God was risen early, and gone forth, behold, an host compassed the city both with horses and chariots. And his servant said unto him, Alas, my master! how shall we do?
2Ki 6:16 And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.
2Ki 6:17 And Elisha prayed, and said, LORD, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the LORD opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha.
Just as Elisha asked for the opening of his servants eyes, I also pray for Mike's eyes be open to your truth and your ways. In Yeshua's name. amen.
