Divorce, Adultery, and Remarriage

Prayer requests on this site which seek a divorce or seek a re-marriage after divorce will not be allowed. There are no exception cases unless one is widowed.

The Matthew passage that allows divorce for adultery is not original. It was someone's addition added to the text at an early stage.

For further reference on the problems with Matthew, see the following web site - http://www.updated.org/matthew.shtml

That is why the same passage in Mark and Luke do not have the exception. We have two witnesses against one. And Matthew is quite problematic as noted above.

Luke 16:18 Everyone who divorces his wife, and marries another, commits adultery: and he who marries her who has been divorced from a husband commits adultery.

Mark 10:11 And he says to them, Whoever divorces his wife, and marries another, commits adultery against her:

Mark 10:12 and if she herself divorced her husband, and marries another, she commits adultery.

In addition, I see no other support for an exception in the rest of the New Testament. Instead, the hard line, no-exception rule is repeatedly stated in different ways even outside of the Gospels. This makes the Matthew passage even more suspect since no other witness confirms this.

It seems best to accept this and the other passages at face value, such as:

1 Cor 7:39 A wife is bound for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wants; only in the Lord.

If there were an adultery or other exception to remarry while the previous spouse is still alive, Paul or Jesus, or someone would have stated it. Instead, they repeatedly say only one who is widowed can re-marry. Further, it is explicitly stated if one does divorce they are to remain unmarried.

So the other questions are:

Can we remarry anyway? Is this a time of grace? Will God forgive us? Will God bless us anyway? Does he desert us if we remarry?

The high road to doing God's will is to do what is right despite the difficulty. If one holds fast, God will have to either leave one single, reconcile them with the previous spouse if both spouses have not yet remarried, or may even himself judge the adulterer with death as essentially a sin unto death (death bearing sin / sin punished by death).

The lower road, is taking the permissive will. Which is go ahead, remarry however one feels. Yet, despite the apparent pleasure of taking this road, it can not achieve the same long term results or victory in one's life (see also the following post for more information about remarriage).

In light of these things, prayer requests on this site which seek a divorce or seek a re-marriage after divorce will not be allowed here.

However, please see the post below about what happens if you have already remarried since that is a different situation.

 

[pradmin]

Another related question posed about this subject is:

What does one do if they have already divorced and remarried?

Once you remarry after divorce, the new marriage is honored in God's eyes and returning to your previous spouse is prohibited forever (Deuteronomy 24:1-4). So, the same as you would stay in a first marriage, you should now stay in this one. Accordingly, no prayer requests should be made to ever return to a previous spouse after either spouse from that previous marriage has remarried. You are now bound in this new marriage to the new spouse.

This is not to say that you should have remarried or that there won't be consequences. You should realize that this new marriage did cause you to commit adultery one time by entering a new marriage while your previous spouse was still alive (Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18). But then, God recognizes this new marriage. So it is no longer adultery after that. I only mention this in case you did not realize it so that you will confess it to God; ask his forgiveness for your doing this; and not do it again. It is not something to continually dwell on, but you should repent of that sin to God if you have not.

An illustration of this concept can be seen in 1 Samuel 12:16-25. In that passage, the people asked God for a king. This request was accounted as a great sin to the people with consequences. However, God did then allow it and provide for it. And, once it was done, the people said, 'Pray for your slaves to Yahweh your God, that we will not die; for we have added to all our sins [this] evil, to ask for ourselves a king'. Samuel then says to them: 'Don't be afraid; you have indeed done all this evil; yet don't turn aside from following Yahweh, but serve Yahweh with all your heart.'

This is the same general idea that applies to a remarriage. The entering into it is accounted one time as a sin with consequences and should be confessed to God. However, this new marriage is valid. It is not considered a perpetual state of adultery. It is accepted by God. One should remain in it and continue to serve the Lord with all their heart.

For your options at this point see 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 and 7:39-40:

7:10 But to the married I give charge, [yes] not I, but the Lord, That the wife is not to depart from her husband,

7:11 but should she depart, let her stay unmarried, or let her be reconciled to her husband; and that the husband is not to leave his wife.

7:39 A wife is bound for as long as her husband lives; but if the husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wants; only in the Lord.

7:40 But she is happier if she stays as she is, after my judgment: and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.

If you have already remarried, you are welcome to ask for prayer about the marriage on the site.

And, as with anything, always focus on the Lord first and also helping others as well. It is not good to get completely consumed in worry. The Lord wants us to be joyful always and content in whatever circumstances we are in.

Greg