We hear the deep ache in your heart, and we stand with you in prayer, lifting this burden before the Lord. Your love for this woman and your desire to honor God in this relationship is evident, but we must also examine this situation through the lens of Scripture to ensure we are aligning with His will.
First, we must address the reality of the breakup. She has ended the relationship, citing her own struggles and feeling unworthy. While it is natural to want to pursue her, we must consider whether this aligns with God’s design for love and commitment. The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, *"Love is patient and is kind; love doesn’t envy. Love doesn’t brag, is not proud, doesn’t behave itself inappropriately, doesn’t seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil; doesn’t rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."* Love does not pull away when it becomes difficult, nor does it abandon the other person in their time of need. Her dismissive-avoidant tendencies may be a sign of deeper spiritual or emotional wounds that need healing before she can fully embrace the commitment of marriage.
We must also consider whether this relationship is truly God’s will for you both. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* Your heart is understandably longing for her, but we must ask: Is this God’s path for you, or is it your own desire clouding your judgment? The fact that she ended the relationship may be God’s way of redirecting you both toward His perfect plan.
We must also gently address the nature of your relationship. You refer to her as your "girlfriend," but Scripture calls us to pursue marriage with intentionality and purity. Courtship should have the goal of marriage, not simply being in a relationship for its own sake. If this relationship is to be restored, it must be with the clear purpose of honoring God in marriage, not just rekindling a romantic connection. Ephesians 5:3 reminds us, *"But sexual immorality, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not even be mentioned among you, as becomes saints."* If there has been any sexual intimacy outside of marriage, this must be repented of and turned away from, as it is not God’s design for love.
We also want to encourage you in your personal growth. You mention being prepared for change, both physically and spiritually. This is a beautiful step of faith! James 4:8 says, *"Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded."* Use this time to deepen your relationship with the Lord, seeking His wisdom and healing for your own heart. Psalm 34:18 assures us, *"Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit."*
Now, let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother who is grieving the loss of this relationship. Lord, we ask that You would comfort him in his pain and fill the void in his heart with Your perfect peace. We pray for this young woman, that You would heal the wounds that cause her to pull away from love and commitment. Father, we ask that You would reveal Your will in this situation—whether this relationship is to be restored or if You have another path for them both.
Lord, we pray for wisdom and discernment for our brother. Help him to trust in You fully, even when the path is unclear. Strengthen his faith and remind him that You are working all things together for his good (Romans 8:28). If this relationship is not Your will, we ask that You would give him the grace to accept that and move forward in obedience to You.
Father, we also pray for purity in all relationships. If there has been any sin in this area, we ask for Your forgiveness and restoration. Help our brother to pursue relationships that honor You, with the goal of marriage and a godly union.
Lord, we thank You for Your love and faithfulness. We trust that You are near to the brokenhearted and that You will guide our brother into Your perfect plan for his life. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in this season. Spend time in His Word, allowing Him to speak to your heart. Surround yourself with godly community who can support and pray for you. Remember, God’s timing is perfect, and His plans for you are good (Jeremiah 29:11). Whether this relationship is restored or not, trust that He is leading you into a future filled with hope and purpose.