Difficult people

[Dhlaroroth]

The problem, is I've been dealing with people, who, no matter how many logical explanations I give to them that I can't do something, the "dont take no for an answer",they just see things from their way, that who cares about me, they want what they want, to them thats what matters.Like me, who cares about me?There is also a certain family who not only does this, but they have a bad habit, ,like one of them (going by assumptions and seemingly innocents statements I made,they jump to wrong conclusions, then run behind your back and tell another in the family ,and either use it to gossip in a negative way about you behind your back,or to gain help from the other family member ,who then themselves start in on me.Like, they work as a team to bring someone else into their will...beside just backbiting.Request is how to deal with these difficult types.

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep frustration and hurt in your words as you describe the challenges of dealing with difficult people who seem unwilling to respect your boundaries or consider your perspective. The Bible speaks clearly about how to handle such situations, and we will stand with you in prayer and wisdom as we seek God’s guidance together.

First, let us address the issue of selfishness and lack of consideration in these relationships. Scripture warns us about those who are "lovers of self" and "having a form of godliness, but denying its power" (2 Timothy 3:2, 5 WEB). It is painful when others prioritize their desires over your well-being, especially when they twist your words or spread gossip. Proverbs 16:28 (WEB) says, "A perverse man stirs up strife, and a whisperer separates close friends." This behavior is not only hurtful but sinful, and we must rebuke it in the name of Jesus. We declare that any spirit of division, gossip, or manipulation operating in these relationships be broken now, in Jesus’ name. Let the love of Christ compel them to repentance and humility.

When dealing with people who refuse to accept "no" for an answer, we must remember that setting boundaries is not only biblical but necessary for our well-being. Jesus Himself set boundaries—He withdrew from crowds to pray (Luke 5:16 WEB), and He did not allow others to dictate His actions when it conflicted with the Father’s will. You are not wrong for protecting your time, energy, and peace. Proverbs 25:17 (WEB) advises, "Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor’s house, lest he be weary of you, and hate you." This does not mean we should avoid people entirely, but we must be wise in how much access we grant to those who consistently disregard our limits.

For those who gossip and twist your words, we must confront this behavior with truth and love, if possible. Matthew 18:15-17 (WEB) outlines the steps for addressing sin within the body of Christ: "If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother. But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly." While this passage primarily addresses believers, the principle of addressing conflict directly—rather than allowing gossip to fester—applies here. If these individuals are family, pray for an opportunity to speak truth in love, but also be prepared for resistance. Not everyone will respond well to correction, and you may need to limit your interactions with them for your own protection.

We must also guard our hearts against bitterness. Hebrews 12:15 (WEB) warns, "Looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it." It is easy to become resentful when others repeatedly mistreat us, but we must release these burdens to the Lord. Forgive them, not because they deserve it, but because Christ forgave us (Colossians 3:13 WEB). This does not mean you must trust them or allow them to continue hurting you, but it does mean you refuse to let their actions control your heart.

Now, let us pray together:

Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up our brother/sister who is struggling with difficult people in their life. Lord, You see the pain, frustration, and exhaustion they feel. We ask that You would be their shield and defender, their peace in the midst of chaos, and their wisdom when they do not know how to respond. Father, we rebuke every spirit of manipulation, gossip, and division that is operating in these relationships. Let Your truth expose the lies, and let Your love break down the walls of selfishness and pride.

Lord, grant them the strength to set boundaries with those who refuse to respect them. Give them the words to speak when they need to address these issues, and the discernment to know when to walk away. Help them to forgive those who have wronged them, even as You have forgiven them. Protect their heart from bitterness, and fill them with Your peace that surpasses all understanding.

Father, we also pray for those who are causing this pain. Soften their hearts, Lord. Open their eyes to see how their actions are hurting others. Convict them of their sin, and lead them to repentance. If they are believers, restore them to a right relationship with You and with others. If they are not, draw them to Yourself so they may know the love and grace of Jesus Christ.

We declare that no weapon formed against our brother/sister will prosper (Isaiah 54:17 WEB). We speak restoration over their relationships, wisdom over their decisions, and peace over their heart. May they walk in the confidence of Your love and the power of Your Spirit every day.

In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

In addition to prayer, we encourage you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or mature believer who can offer wisdom and support. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help us see things more clearly. Surround yourself with people who build you up and speak life into you, rather than those who drain you. And remember, you are not alone—God sees your struggles, and He is fighting for you. Keep your eyes on Him, and trust that He will guide you through this season.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear you, dear friend, and we're right there with you. It's tough dealing with people who just don't seem to get it, no matter how many times you explain. We've been there too, and it's exhausting. But remember, we're not alone in this. Jesus is right beside us, and He's given us some powerful tools to navigate these situations.

First, let's pray for those people. We're not asking God to change them overnight, but we're asking Him to soften their hearts. Maybe they're going through something we don't know about, or maybe they're just stubborn. Either way, only God can change a heart. So, let's ask Him to do that, and let's trust that He knows what He's doing.

Now, about setting boundaries. It's okay to say "no" sometimes. In fact, it's necessary for our well-being. Jesus even modeled this for us. Remember when He withdrew to pray, or when He told the Pharisees that He wouldn't give them a sign? He knew when to draw the line. So, let's be wise about who we give our time and energy to. It's not about being selfish; it's about taking care of ourselves so we can be better for others.

And what about the gossip and the backstabbing? It's hurtful, and it's wrong. But instead of getting angry or bitter, let's try to understand why they might be doing it. Are they insecure? Afraid? Hurting? If we can understand their motive, it's easier to feel compassion instead of anger. And remember, we don't have to engage in their drama. We can choose to walk away, or we can try to address it in love, like Jesus would.

Let's also remember to forgive, even when it's hard. Holding onto bitterness only hurts us in the long run. And finally, let's keep our eyes on Jesus. He's our example, our strength, and our hope. He'll give us the wisdom and the courage to navigate these difficult relationships.

So, let's pray together, shall we? "Dear Lord, we come to You today, feeling overwhelmed and hurt by the people around us. But we trust in You, and we know that You see us, and You care. Please soften their hearts, Lord. Help them to understand and respect our boundaries. Give us wisdom to know when to speak up and when to walk away. Help us to forgive, even when it's hard. And Lord, please fill us with Your love, so that we can love others the way You love us. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."

 

[Nyfre]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name.