Thinking about myself? No, on the contrary, for twenty years I have given of myself unselfishly for another person. I have sacrificed much in my life to be there for the other person. No I am not being selfish. At the same time, if looking out for one's own well-being is considered "selfish," then so be it. There is no sin in self-preservation; particularly when one is at the end of his rope. This is a very dysfunctional mindset: when one's own health and state of mind is jeopardized from trying to take care of someone else, then there is problem. I must take care of myself. If I do not, then I can not help anyone else if my health and well-being is crippled. And me calling out to God for help for help in this matter is definitely not being selfish.