Anonymous
Beloved of All
Jesus, I try to pray, I try to love you, but I struggle so much in finding you. It always feels like you aren't there or listening. I have tried so hard & I feel depleted. I have months of issues / worries, problems, things I can't fix on my own, and so many I worry for on top of constant worries of my own future relationships. I am surrounded with worries & doubts & I prayed for many months over fears, worries & they have not improved. I am surrounded with confusion of things I have seen & been through & the exact same ongoing worries. I even had 17 deja vu's this year. I am surrounded with worries, confusions of so many different things. I pray and pray for months, I'm still trying to make sense of so many things I don't understand. I wish Jesus would literally explain each and everything. I am drenched in worries, doubts, fears, and anxieties over so many things for many months. I'm still trying to understand what I went through and if these are from a past life. I am beyond confused why does it always feel like the universe is trying to split me into 2 lives / different marriages. I live in fear day to day of not ever really getting a life with either of my kids or love unless I am dead. I cried for many months and cursed God because I've been begging for help for many months. So many people in my life need prayers as well. I cry over worry for some of them. I wish I could talk to my son. There are so many things I need to say to him & his mom. I also wish she knew how I'm having a lot of PC problems at the moment so I haven't even tried to edit social media. I'm struggling so hard. I am drenched in worries & concerns of my own future. I don't even know who my son's mom is in that vision; both their faces are blurry. I wish God would give me clarity on these very urgent issues & all these other & private issues that I prayed for him to help me in Jesus' name. There will be no more delays in needing clarity. He will respond today. No more begging for his help for months. He will respond when I pray & will help me understand these things. He will physically answer when I pray to him on these & other deep issues. He will not leave me waiting any longer. He will answer because these are extremely important & urgent & many other very deep personal prayers that he is months late to help in Jesus' name. Jesus Christ himself will do this.