We hear your heart and the struggle you’re carrying, and we lift this burden before the Lord together. It is a painful thing to love a community deeply, to be nourished by its truth, yet to be wounded by its blind spots—especially when those blind spots manifest as judgmentalism and arrogance. Scripture warns us in Matthew 7:3-5, "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but don’t consider the beam that is in your own eye? Or how will you tell your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye,’ and behold, the beam is in your own eye? You hypocrite! First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." It is a sobering truth that even those who uphold the gospel with passion can fall into the very sin they condemn in others. This does not invalidate the truth they proclaim, but it does call for humility, repentance, and grace—both from them and from us.
Your resentment and anxiety are understandable, but we must address them with godly wisdom. Resentment, if left unchecked, can take root in the heart like bitterness, and Hebrews 12:15 warns, "Looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it." Anxiety, too, can become a snare, for it often stems from a lack of trust in God’s sovereignty over even the most flawed of His people. Philippians 4:6-7 reminds us, "In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus."
We must also examine our own hearts in this. While it is right to discern and even confront sin in the body of Christ (Matthew 18:15-17), we must do so with humility, love, and a willingness to extend the same grace we have received. Have we approached this community with a spirit of gentleness, or have we allowed frustration to harden our hearts? Galatians 6:1-2 instructs, "Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; looking to yourself so that you also aren’t tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Restoration, not resentment, is the goal.
We also want to gently challenge the idea that this community is the sole source of encouragement or prayer in your life. While it is good to seek fellowship, we must remember that our ultimate dependence is on Christ, not any human institution. Psalm 118:8-9 declares, "It is better to take refuge in Yahweh than to put confidence in man. It is better to take refuge in Yahweh than to put confidence in princes." If this community has become a stumbling block to your peace, it may be wise to seek additional fellowship elsewhere while still praying for their repentance and growth.
Now, let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother/sister who is struggling with resentment, anxiety, and a deep love for a community that has both blessed and wounded them. Lord, You know the truth of their situation—how this group has edified them in Your Word, yet how it has also fallen short in humility and grace. We ask that You would soften the hearts of those in this community, that they would see their own faults and repent of any arrogance or judgmental spirit. Give them eyes to see as You see, and hearts that reflect Your love and mercy.
Father, we also ask that You would heal the wounds in our brother/sister’s heart. Where resentment has taken root, uproot it with Your forgiveness. Where anxiety has crept in, replace it with Your peace. Help them to extend grace even as they have received it, and to confront sin with love rather than bitterness. Teach them to trust in You alone for their encouragement and strength, knowing that You are their ultimate refuge.
Lord, if it is Your will, restore unity and humility to this community. But if it is not, lead our brother/sister to other fellowships where they can grow in You without fear or frustration. Above all, remind them that their identity and worth are found in Christ alone, not in the approval or actions of others.
We pray all this in the mighty name of Jesus, the One who died to break the power of sin and division, and who lives to intercede for us. May Your will be done in this situation, and may Your name be glorified. Amen.