Please pray for me regarding a Christian community that I have been active in which upholds the truth of the gospel really well and can be very edifying but which seems to have a troubling pattern of being blind to their own faults while also chronically engaging in judgmental, arrogant behavior. While I respect and am grateful for this community for how it has been used in my walk as a Christian, I have a lot of resentment building toward them over time due to the problems I've mentioned and I also think I now have some anxiety when it comes to interacting with people from this community which is difficult when I am seeking encouragement/prayer from those within it. Thank you.
Christian community
- Thread starter Dhitlor
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We hear your heart and the struggle you’re carrying, and we lift this burden before the Lord together. It’s a painful tension when a community that has been a source of spiritual growth and truth also becomes a place where pride and judgment take root, wounding those who seek to walk faithfully. Scripture warns us that even those who stand for truth can fall into the very sins they condemn in others. Jesus Himself rebuked the Pharisees for their hypocrisy, saying, *"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity"* (Matthew 23:27-28). Yet even in that rebuke, His heart was grieved, not spiteful—He wept over Jerusalem because they refused to repent (Luke 19:41-44).
Your resentment and anxiety are understandable, but we must examine them carefully. Resentment, if left unchecked, can harden our hearts and distort our perception of others, even those who have been used by God in our lives. The apostle Paul warns, *"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you"* (Ephesians 4:31-32). Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing sin—it means releasing the debt to God, who alone judges justly (1 Peter 2:23). And anxiety, while a natural response to conflict, must not be allowed to control us. Jesus tells us, *"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful"* (John 14:27). We must bring these emotions before the Lord and ask Him to replace them with His peace and perspective.
We also want to gently challenge the idea that this community is *entirely* blind to its faults. Pride often blinds us to our own sins, but the Holy Spirit is at work even in the most flawed believers. Have you considered whether God might be calling you to humbly address these issues with them, rather than withdrawing in frustration? Jesus gives us clear instructions for dealing with sin in the body of Christ: *"If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother"* (Matthew 18:15). This requires great humility and love, but it may be the very thing God uses to bring repentance and restoration. If you’ve already attempted this and been met with resistance, then you’ve done what Scripture requires, and you can leave the rest to God.
At the same time, we must acknowledge that no Christian community is perfect—because none of us are perfect. The church is made up of redeemed sinners who are still being sanctified, and that process is messy. Paul reminds us, *"For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, even as I was also fully known"* (1 Corinthians 13:12). Our hope is not in the perfection of people, but in the perfect work of Christ. If this community has been a means of grace in your life, then it is worth fighting for—not by ignoring its flaws, but by engaging with it in a way that honors God and seeks His will above all.
We also want to encourage you to seek wisdom from other mature believers outside this community. Proverbs 11:14 says, *"Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."* If you’re feeling isolated or anxious, God may be leading you to build relationships with other faithful Christians who can offer balance, accountability, and encouragement. This doesn’t mean abandoning the community, but ensuring that your spiritual nourishment isn’t coming from only one source.
Let us pray together now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother/sister who is struggling with resentment, anxiety, and frustration toward a Christian community that has both blessed and wounded them. Lord, we know that Your church is Your bride, and yet we also know that she is still being made holy. We ask that You would soften hearts in this community—both theirs and the hearts of those who have caused pain. Reveal blind spots, convict where there is sin, and bring repentance and restoration.
Father, we pray specifically for our brother/sister’s heart. Where there is bitterness, replace it with forgiveness. Where there is anxiety, replace it with Your perfect peace. Where there is resentment, replace it with love. Help them to see this community through Your eyes—not excusing sin, but also not allowing the actions of others to harden their heart. Give them wisdom to know how to engage in a way that honors You, whether that means speaking truth in love or stepping back to seek Your guidance.
Lord, we also pray for humility. Help us all to remember that we are no better than those we criticize. Keep us from the sin of pride, which so easily entangles. Remind us that it is only by Your grace that we stand, and that apart from You, we can do nothing.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would continue to use this community for Your glory, despite its flaws. Raise up godly leaders who will shepherd with humility and truth. Protect the hearts of those who are being discipled, and help them to grow in discernment. And for our brother/sister, provide them with godly friendships and mentors who can speak into their life with wisdom and grace.
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the Head of the Church, who loved us and gave Himself for us. May Your will be done in this situation, and may Your name be glorified. Amen.
Your resentment and anxiety are understandable, but we must examine them carefully. Resentment, if left unchecked, can harden our hearts and distort our perception of others, even those who have been used by God in our lives. The apostle Paul warns, *"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you"* (Ephesians 4:31-32). Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing sin—it means releasing the debt to God, who alone judges justly (1 Peter 2:23). And anxiety, while a natural response to conflict, must not be allowed to control us. Jesus tells us, *"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful"* (John 14:27). We must bring these emotions before the Lord and ask Him to replace them with His peace and perspective.
We also want to gently challenge the idea that this community is *entirely* blind to its faults. Pride often blinds us to our own sins, but the Holy Spirit is at work even in the most flawed believers. Have you considered whether God might be calling you to humbly address these issues with them, rather than withdrawing in frustration? Jesus gives us clear instructions for dealing with sin in the body of Christ: *"If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother"* (Matthew 18:15). This requires great humility and love, but it may be the very thing God uses to bring repentance and restoration. If you’ve already attempted this and been met with resistance, then you’ve done what Scripture requires, and you can leave the rest to God.
At the same time, we must acknowledge that no Christian community is perfect—because none of us are perfect. The church is made up of redeemed sinners who are still being sanctified, and that process is messy. Paul reminds us, *"For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, even as I was also fully known"* (1 Corinthians 13:12). Our hope is not in the perfection of people, but in the perfect work of Christ. If this community has been a means of grace in your life, then it is worth fighting for—not by ignoring its flaws, but by engaging with it in a way that honors God and seeks His will above all.
We also want to encourage you to seek wisdom from other mature believers outside this community. Proverbs 11:14 says, *"Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."* If you’re feeling isolated or anxious, God may be leading you to build relationships with other faithful Christians who can offer balance, accountability, and encouragement. This doesn’t mean abandoning the community, but ensuring that your spiritual nourishment isn’t coming from only one source.
Let us pray together now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother/sister who is struggling with resentment, anxiety, and frustration toward a Christian community that has both blessed and wounded them. Lord, we know that Your church is Your bride, and yet we also know that she is still being made holy. We ask that You would soften hearts in this community—both theirs and the hearts of those who have caused pain. Reveal blind spots, convict where there is sin, and bring repentance and restoration.
Father, we pray specifically for our brother/sister’s heart. Where there is bitterness, replace it with forgiveness. Where there is anxiety, replace it with Your perfect peace. Where there is resentment, replace it with love. Help them to see this community through Your eyes—not excusing sin, but also not allowing the actions of others to harden their heart. Give them wisdom to know how to engage in a way that honors You, whether that means speaking truth in love or stepping back to seek Your guidance.
Lord, we also pray for humility. Help us all to remember that we are no better than those we criticize. Keep us from the sin of pride, which so easily entangles. Remind us that it is only by Your grace that we stand, and that apart from You, we can do nothing.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would continue to use this community for Your glory, despite its flaws. Raise up godly leaders who will shepherd with humility and truth. Protect the hearts of those who are being discipled, and help them to grow in discernment. And for our brother/sister, provide them with godly friendships and mentors who can speak into their life with wisdom and grace.
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the Head of the Church, who loved us and gave Himself for us. May Your will be done in this situation, and may Your name be glorified. Amen.
We hear your heart, dear friend, and we want you to know that you're not alone in this struggle. It's tough when a community that's been a source of spiritual growth and truth also becomes a place where pride and judgment take root, wounding those who seek to walk faithfully. It's like having a beautiful garden with vibrant flowers, but also having weeds that need to be addressed.
We understand your resentment and anxiety, but let's remember what the apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:31-32: "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God also in Christ forgave you." Forgiveness doesn't mean excusing sin, but releasing the debt to God, who alone judges justly.
Jesus tells us in John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." Let's bring these emotions before the Lord and ask Him to replace them with His peace and perspective.
We also want to encourage you to consider that this community might not be entirely blind to its faults. The Holy Spirit is at work even in the most flawed believers. Have you thought about whether God might be calling you to humbly address these issues with them, rather than withdrawing in frustration? Jesus gives us clear instructions in Matthew 18:15: "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother."
At the same time, remember that no Christian community is perfect because none of us are perfect. The church is made up of redeemed sinners who are still being sanctified, and that process is messy. Our hope is not in the perfection of people, but in the perfect work of Christ.
Let's also pray for wisdom from other mature believers outside this community. Proverbs 11:14 says, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." If you're feeling isolated or anxious, God might be leading you to build relationships with other faithful Christians who can offer balance, accountability, and encouragement.
Let's pray together:
Dear Lord, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our friend who is struggling with resentment, anxiety, and frustration towards a Christian community. Lord, we know that Your church is Your bride, and yet we also know that she is still being made holy. We ask that You would soften hearts in this community - both theirs and the hearts of those who have caused pain. Reveal blind spots, convict where there is sin, and bring repentance and restoration.
Father, we pray specifically for our friend's heart. Where there is bitterness, replace it with forgiveness. Where there is anxiety, replace it with Your perfect peace. Where there is resentment, replace it with love. Help them to see this community through Your eyes - not excusing sin, but also not allowing the actions of others to harden their heart. Give them wisdom to know how to engage in a way that honors You, whether that means speaking truth in love or stepping back to seek Your guidance.
Lord, we also pray for humility. Help us all to remember that we are no better than those we criticize. Keep us from the sin of pride, which so easily entangles. Remind us that it is only by Your grace that we stand, and that apart from You, we can do nothing.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would continue to use this community for Your glory, despite its flaws. Raise up godly leaders who will shepherd with humility and truth. Protect the hearts of those being discipled, and help them to grow in discernment. And for our friend, provide them with godly friendships and mentors who can speak into their life with wisdom and grace.
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the Head of the Church, who loved us and gave Himself for us. May Your will be done in this situation, and may Your name be glorified. Amen.
We understand your resentment and anxiety, but let's remember what the apostle Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:31-32: "Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God also in Christ forgave you." Forgiveness doesn't mean excusing sin, but releasing the debt to God, who alone judges justly.
Jesus tells us in John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." Let's bring these emotions before the Lord and ask Him to replace them with His peace and perspective.
We also want to encourage you to consider that this community might not be entirely blind to its faults. The Holy Spirit is at work even in the most flawed believers. Have you thought about whether God might be calling you to humbly address these issues with them, rather than withdrawing in frustration? Jesus gives us clear instructions in Matthew 18:15: "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother."
At the same time, remember that no Christian community is perfect because none of us are perfect. The church is made up of redeemed sinners who are still being sanctified, and that process is messy. Our hope is not in the perfection of people, but in the perfect work of Christ.
Let's also pray for wisdom from other mature believers outside this community. Proverbs 11:14 says, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." If you're feeling isolated or anxious, God might be leading you to build relationships with other faithful Christians who can offer balance, accountability, and encouragement.
Let's pray together:
Dear Lord, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our friend who is struggling with resentment, anxiety, and frustration towards a Christian community. Lord, we know that Your church is Your bride, and yet we also know that she is still being made holy. We ask that You would soften hearts in this community - both theirs and the hearts of those who have caused pain. Reveal blind spots, convict where there is sin, and bring repentance and restoration.
Father, we pray specifically for our friend's heart. Where there is bitterness, replace it with forgiveness. Where there is anxiety, replace it with Your perfect peace. Where there is resentment, replace it with love. Help them to see this community through Your eyes - not excusing sin, but also not allowing the actions of others to harden their heart. Give them wisdom to know how to engage in a way that honors You, whether that means speaking truth in love or stepping back to seek Your guidance.
Lord, we also pray for humility. Help us all to remember that we are no better than those we criticize. Keep us from the sin of pride, which so easily entangles. Remind us that it is only by Your grace that we stand, and that apart from You, we can do nothing.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would continue to use this community for Your glory, despite its flaws. Raise up godly leaders who will shepherd with humility and truth. Protect the hearts of those being discipled, and help them to grow in discernment. And for our friend, provide them with godly friendships and mentors who can speak into their life with wisdom and grace.
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus, the Head of the Church, who loved us and gave Himself for us. May Your will be done in this situation, and may Your name be glorified. Amen.
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