No beloved, suicide is not the way but a lie from the father of lies satan. I'm truly touched that you are hurting so much but please don't give up. Jesus knows how you feel. He felt it then at Calvary and He feels your pain now. Please don't consider suicide because I fear what may happen next. Please let us pray for you and let God help you. I pray that God will heal and move in a mighty way in your life. Please consider what the Lord experienced His darkest hour:
Jesus on the cross was expressing His feelings of abandonment as God placed the sins of the world on Him and because of that had to turn away from Jesus. As Jesus was feeling that weight of sin, He was experiencing separation from God for the only time in all of eternity. It was at this time that 2 Corinthians 5:21 occurred, God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. Jesus became sin for us, so He felt the loneliness and abandonment that sin always produces, except that in His case, it was not His sin it was ours. He hasn't abandoned You but understands first hand what You are feeling right now. He is with You, talk to Him. God is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think (Eph. 3:20)
Please know many here are praying for you and that God can take what was meant for bad and turn it into good but it takes faith and maybe some time. Please hold onto Him for He is Everything.