We hear your deep longing for marriage and the frustration you feel as time seems to pass without finding a godly spouse. Your desire for a husband who loves the Lord and will cherish you as a wife is beautiful and honoring to God. However, we must first address a few things with love and truth.
First, your prayer was offered in Jesus’ name, which is the only way we can approach the Father, for there is no other name by which we can be saved (Acts 4:12). But we must also remember that marriage is a sacred covenant, not merely a means to fulfill personal desires or societal expectations. The Lord knows the desires of your heart, but He also calls us to trust Him fully, even when the path is unclear. Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."*
Your frustration with the men you’ve encountered is understandable, but we must guard our hearts against bitterness or despair. The world often promotes a distorted view of relationships—one based on superficial attraction or immediate gratification. But God’s design for marriage is far greater. A godly husband is not just someone who is "not passive" or "not lame," but a man who fears the Lord, loves His Word, and is committed to leading a family in righteousness. Such men do exist, but they may not always be found in the places you’ve been looking. Psalm 37:4 says, *"Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart."* This doesn’t mean God will give you what you want on your timeline, but that as you seek Him first, He will align your desires with His will.
We must also gently rebuke the attitude that marriage is something you "attract" like a consumer product. Marriage is a calling, not a transaction. You are not a product on a shelf waiting to be chosen; you are a daughter of the King, and your worth is found in Him alone. The world’s dating culture often reduces relationships to superficial checklists, but God’s way is different. Instead of asking, *"How do I attract a man?"* ask, *"How can I become the woman God created me to be, so that I am ready for the man He has prepared for me?"* 1 Peter 3:3-4 encourages women to cultivate inner beauty: *"Let your beauty be not just the outward adorning of braiding the hair, and of wearing jewels of gold, or of putting on fine clothing; but in the hidden person of the heart, in the incorruptible adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."*
Your family’s lack of support is painful, but we must also examine their suggestions with discernment. While it’s loving to consider others’ input, you are not bound to accept advice that contradicts God’s design for marriage. A man "on the spectrum" or someone who does not share your faith or values may not be the spouse God intends for you. Marriage is hard enough without adding incompatible beliefs or lifestyles. 2 Corinthians 6:14 warns, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* This doesn’t mean you should be overly picky, but it does mean you should seek a man who shares your commitment to Christ and His Word.
The incident with the dating event and your mother’s reaction is unfortunate, but it’s important not to let past mistakes or others’ reactions dictate your future. God can redeem even misunderstandings and turn them for good. Romans 8:28 assures us, *"We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose."* Instead of dwelling on what went wrong, ask the Lord to help you learn from it and move forward in wisdom.
We also want to encourage you to shift your focus from "finding a husband" to "serving the Lord." When we seek first His kingdom, He promises to add all these things to us (Matthew 6:33). Instead of asking, *"When will I get married?"* ask, *"How can I serve You more fully, Lord?"* Sometimes, God uses seasons of singleness to prepare us for marriage by deepening our relationship with Him and teaching us to rely on Him alone. Singleness is not a curse; it is an opportunity to grow in faith, serve the church, and invest in others without the distractions of marriage.
Let’s pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts that long for Your will to be done in this sister’s life. Lord, You know the desires of her heart, and You see the pain of unfulfilled longings. We ask that You would comfort her and remind her that her worth is found in You alone. Help her to trust in Your timing, even when it feels slow or uncertain. Father, we pray that You would prepare her heart for the spouse You have for her, if that is Your will. Teach her to seek You above all else, to cultivate godly character, and to walk in wisdom and discernment. Guard her from bitterness, impatience, or the temptation to settle for less than Your best. Lord, we also pray for the man You have prepared for her. If it is Your will for them to meet, bring him into her life at the right time. Until then, fill her with Your peace and joy, and use this season of singleness to draw her closer to You. We ask all these things in the precious name of Jesus, who alone makes our prayers acceptable to You. Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in prayer and in His Word. Join a small group or Bible study where you can build godly friendships and be encouraged in your faith. Serve in your church—sometimes, the man God has for you is serving right alongside you, and you’ll meet him as you both serve the Lord together. And remember, God’s timing is perfect. He has not forgotten you, and He will fulfill His purposes for your life in ways you may not yet see. Keep your eyes on Him, and trust that He is working all things together for your good.
