A
Ally
Guest
My boyfriend of two years and I just recently broke up. We were very serious and planned on getting married as soon as we graduated college next year. I felt like he was the one for me and I am absolutely devastated. I'm depressed and find it hard to leave my house because everything reminds me of him. He reasoning is that he no longer feels like God has chosen us for each other as soul mates. It's been a month and we have seen each other a little bit. He even expressed feelings of wanting to get back together, but ultimately decided against it because he feels we will end up breaking up again no matter what. He goes on to say that we are just not compatible and that we will never get back together. He wants to be friends and he means it genuinely it's just so hard because I want to affectionate towards him when I am around him. However, regardless of our romantic relationship, I don't want to lose my best friend too, and if we could remain good friends I would like that. The only comfort I find through this is from God, but it's still so very difficult. I know he has a plan for my life and that what's meant to be will, but saying it is much harder than believing it when I miss him. Everyone reminds me that I will meet someone better, but it's hard to imagine when I am really deeply in love with him and feel like he is perfect. Ok, I realize no one is perfect, but he's pretty close and I accept all of his "flaws" because that's what makes him unique and the person he is. He has heard from God that it isn't right for us to be together, but I haven't heard this so it's much harder for me to move on. I still see potential in our relationship and would like to work on it. He knows how I feel and he isn't changing his mind. What I'm asking you to pray for is clarity for myself. Clarity from God on whether we should be together or not or if were "soul mates". I'm trying to trust God, but I'm in misery. I'm anxious all the time, and wondering what he's doing, how he's doing. I'm even selfish enough to where I want him to be doing okay, but not good I don't want him to get over me, which he says he's not but he seems to move on with friends and everyday stuff with ease. Many of my friends and family have expressed that men just deal with emotions and breakups differently. I'm trying to get out and do things, but find simple things like working and going to pick up take out hard. I'm fearful to leave home, I feel uncomfortable as if I feel safer at home. I also have this fear that if I move on that it will officially be over for good, when in reality it's all ready over. My mom is going through divorce with my stepdad. So my life is totally different. I'm trying to be strong for my younger brother and sister and my mom, but truth is I'm falling apart. I'm not experiencing any pain through the divorce because I've never been close with my stepdad, but I hate seeing my family in such pain. I need God so much right now, I know He's always there, but I want this pain to go away. I know it will take time, but I want clarity and relief. Please please pray for me and my family.
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