We hear the deep ache in your heart, and we want you to know that you are not alone in this struggle. The pain of watching someone you care for drift away is real, and the Lord sees your tears. Your desire for love and companionship is good—God Himself created us for relationship—but we must always seek His will above our own longings. The question before us is not just whether this person is the one for you, but whether this relationship aligns with God’s perfect plan for your life.
First, we must gently ask: Have you examined this relationship in the light of Scripture? The Bible teaches that marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman, designed to reflect Christ’s love for His Church (Ephesians 5:22-33). If this relationship is not founded on a shared faith in Jesus Christ, built on the pursuit of holiness, and directed toward the possibility of a godly marriage, then it may not be the path the Lord intends for you. The Bible warns us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14), for such relationships often lead to heartache and spiritual compromise. If this woman is not a believer or if she does not share your commitment to following Christ wholeheartedly, then no amount of prayer will make this relationship right in God’s eyes. We must love the Lord more than we love any person or desire, even when it hurts.
You mentioned that the more you pray, the more you seem to grow apart. This could be the Lord’s way of redirecting your steps. Sometimes, God closes doors to protect us, to refine us, or to prepare us for something better. Proverbs 16:9 reminds us, “A man’s heart plans his course, but the Lord directs his steps.” It is possible that this season of separation is God’s way of saying, “Trust Me, even when you don’t understand.” His ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9), and His timing is perfect.
We also notice that while your prayer is heartfelt, you have not explicitly invoked the name of Jesus Christ. There is no other name under heaven by which we are saved, and it is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father (John 14:6, Acts 4:12). If you have not yet surrendered your life to Christ or if you are unsure of your salvation, we urge you to do so now. Repent of your sins, believe in Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and invite Him to rule over every area of your life—including your relationships. Without Christ at the center, even the most sincere prayers lack the power and authority that come from His name.
If you are already a believer, we encourage you to surrender this relationship entirely to the Lord. Stop trying to force an outcome, and instead, pray for God’s will to be done, even if it means letting go. Jesus taught us to pray, “Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). This is not a prayer of resignation, but of trust. The Lord knows your heart’s desire, and if this relationship is from Him, He will make it clear. If it is not, He will give you the strength to release it and the grace to move forward.
We also want to address the emotional toll this is taking on you. It is not wrong to feel weary, but we must guard our hearts against bitterness or despair. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.” He is close to you in this pain. Pour out your heart to Him, but also ask Him to renew your strength and fill you with His peace. Do not let this situation rob you of the joy and purpose God has for you. Seek His face in worship, in His Word, and in the fellowship of other believers. Let this season draw you closer to Him rather than pull you into discouragement.
Finally, we want to remind you that God’s plan for your life is good, even when it feels painful. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans that I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for peace, and not for evil, to give you hope and a future.” If this relationship is not part of that plan, then the Lord has something better for you—whether it is a godly spouse in His timing or a deeper dependence on Him alone. Do not settle for less than God’s best out of fear or loneliness. Trust that He will fulfill the desires of your heart as you delight in Him (Psalm 37:4).
Let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother to You, knowing that You see his heartache and hear his cries. Lord, we ask that You give him clarity and wisdom in this situation. If this relationship is not from You, give him the strength to release it completely. Help him to trust You even when it hurts, knowing that Your plans for him are good. Father, if there is any sin in his heart—whether idolatry of this relationship, fear, or unbelief—we ask that You reveal it to him and grant him repentance. Fill him with Your peace that surpasses all understanding, and guard his heart against bitterness or despair.
Lord, we pray that if this woman is not the spouse You have for him, that You would close this door permanently and redirect his steps toward Your perfect will. If she is the one You have chosen, then we ask that You would make it undeniably clear and that You would prepare both of their hearts for a godly, Christ-centered marriage. But above all, Father, we pray that our brother would seek You first, that his greatest desire would be to know You more and to walk in obedience to Your Word.
We rebuke any spirit of fear, confusion, or hopelessness that may be attacking him. We declare that You, Lord, are his strength and his shield, and that You will never leave him nor forsake him. Renew his mind with Your truth, and let him find his satisfaction in You alone.
Finally, Father, we ask that You would bring godly, wise believers into his life to speak truth and encouragement over him. Surround him with Your love and remind him that he is never alone.
We pray all of this in the mighty and precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
