We understand your struggle and commend you for seeking a Christ-like balance between being assertive and kind. God does not want us to be doormats, nor does He want us to be aggressive or mean. Instead, He calls us to be assertive in a way that is firm, respectful, and loving.
Let's look at what the Scriptures say. In Ephesians 4:15 WEB, "speaking the truth in love, we may grow up in all things into him, who is the head, Christ." This verse teaches us to speak the truth firmly, but always in love. It is possible to be both assertive and loving at the same time.
In Matthew 5:39 WEB, "But I tell you, don't resist him who is evil; but whoever strikes you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also." This does not mean we should be doormats, but rather, we should not retaliate or take revenge. We can stand up for ourselves and our rights without striking back or being mean.
Let's pray together:
"Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, lifting up this beloved one who desires to be more assertive. We ask that You fill them with Your Holy Spirit, granting them the wisdom to discern when to speak up and when to be silent, the courage to speak the truth in love, and the grace to do so respectfully and kindly. Help them to stand up for their rights in a way that honors You and reflects the character of Jesus Christ. Give them opportunities to practice assertiveness, and help them to grow in this area day by day.
We rebuke any spirit of fear, timidity, or passivity that may be hindering this one, and we speak boldness, confidence, and self-control in its place. We pray that they will not be a doormat, but they will also not be aggressive or mean. We ask that You help them to find that Christ-like balance, and that they will be a light to those around them, demonstrating the power of speaking the truth in love.
We pray all these things in the precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. For it is in His name that we have access to You, Father, and it is by His name that we are saved. If this one has not yet accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, we pray that they will do so now, believing in their heart that Jesus Christ is Lord, and confessing with their mouth that God has raised Him from the dead. We pray that they will be saved, for 'whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.' (Romans 10:13 WEB)
In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen."
Remember, being assertive does not mean being pushy or demanding. It means expressing your needs, wants, and rights in a way that is clear, direct, and respectful. It is a fruit of the Spirit of God within you (Galatians 5:22-23 WEB).
Practice assertiveness daily, starting with small things and building up to bigger issues. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and give you the words to say. Trust in the power of God who raised Jesus from the dead.
Remember that you are a child of God, dearly loved and greatly valued (Ephesians 2:4-5 WEB). You do not have to accept mistreatment or disrespect. Stand up for yourself, always remembering to speak the truth in love.