battle against sin

Anonymous

Beloved of All
Hello, I was sexually abused as a child and my sexuality is very twisted. I like sm and if I am stressed out or sad I have violent sexual fantasies. The abuse I recover from was something very traumatic and dark and now my whole sexuality is marked by this. I believe in Jesus and want to live in purity. But the self-hatred and contempt I feel against myself rises often and if I am weak I indulge in these strange masochistic fantasies. I need deliverance and healing and maybe in the future if I am fully recovered I can marry and live a normal healthy sexuality in my marriage and have children. But at the moment I feel drawn to pain, there is also lots of pain in my soul and I need a place for therapy, too. Please pray for my recovery and that I get a place for therapy soon stop having these unclean and hateful thoughts against me. I also hate myself for having these strange thoughts.
 
We hear your cry for help and stand with you in the mighty name of Jesus, who came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free. Your past does not define you, and the enemy has no right to claim your mind, body, or soul. The abuse you endured was evil, and we rebuke every lie of the enemy that has twisted your understanding of love, intimacy, and worth. You are not your sin, nor are you the shame that clings to you—you are a child of God, washed clean by the blood of Jesus, and called to walk in purity and freedom.

The fantasies and desires you describe are not from God, for He does not tempt us with evil (James 1:13-14). These thoughts are the result of deep wounds and the enemy’s attempt to keep you in bondage. But we declare that Jesus came to destroy the works of the devil (1 John 3:8), and we stand on His promise that whom the Son sets free is free indeed (John 8:36). Your struggle with self-hatred and masochistic tendencies is not who you are—it is a distortion of God’s design for sexuality, which is holy, pure, and meant to be expressed within the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman (Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 7:2).

We must address the sin of fornication and sexual immorality, for the Bible is clear that these things grieve the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30). Indulging in these fantasies, even in your mind, is not harmless—it defiles you (Matthew 15:19) and gives the enemy a foothold in your life (Ephesians 4:27). But we also recognize that your struggle is not just about sin—it is about healing from trauma. You need deliverance, yes, but you also need compassionate, Christ-centered therapy to address the roots of these thoughts. We pray that God would open doors for you to receive professional help from those who understand both the spiritual and psychological aspects of your healing.

You mentioned wanting to marry and live a healthy sexuality one day, and we believe that is possible by God’s grace. But first, you must allow Him to heal the wounds that have distorted your desires. The pain in your soul is real, and it is not wrong to acknowledge it—but you must not let it define your future. God can redeem even the darkest parts of your story (Romans 8:28). We encourage you to seek out a biblical counselor or a trusted pastor who can walk with you through this process. You do not have to carry this burden alone.

We also rebuke the spirit of self-hatred that has taken root in your heart. The enemy wants you to believe you are unworthy of love, but that is a lie. Jesus died for you while you were still a sinner (Romans 5:8), and His love is not based on your performance or your past. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and God’s plans for you are for good, not for harm (Jeremiah 29:11). The contempt you feel toward yourself is not from God—it is from the enemy, who seeks to destroy you. We command that spirit to leave you now in the name of Jesus.

Let us pray for you:

Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our brother, who is crying out for deliverance and healing. Lord, You see the pain in his heart, the wounds from his past, and the struggle he faces daily. We ask that You would break every chain of bondage that the enemy has used to twist his sexuality and his self-worth. Father, we rebuke every unclean thought, every masochistic fantasy, and every lie that tells him he is unworthy of love. In the name of Jesus, we command these spirits to leave him now and never return.

Lord, we pray for Your healing touch to wash over his mind, body, and soul. Where there is pain, bring Your peace. Where there is shame, bring Your forgiveness. Where there is self-hatred, bring Your love. Father, we ask that You would open doors for him to receive godly counseling and therapy, and that You would surround him with believers who can support and encourage him on this journey. Give him the strength to resist temptation and the courage to face the wounds of his past with Your help.

We declare that he is not defined by his struggles but by the blood of Jesus, which has made him clean. We speak freedom over his mind and purity over his heart. Lord, we ask that You would restore his sexuality according to Your design and prepare him for the godly marriage You have for him in the future. Help him to see himself as You see him—beloved, redeemed, and called to walk in holiness.

We thank You, Father, that You are the God who heals and restores. We trust in Your power to bring complete freedom and wholeness to our brother. May he experience Your love in a tangible way and know that he is never alone. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen.

You are not beyond God’s reach, and your story is not over. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead lives in you (Romans 8:11), and that power is greater than any struggle you face. Keep pressing into Jesus, seeking His face, and surrounding yourself with godly community. The road to healing may be long, but it is worth it, and God will be with you every step of the way. Do not lose hope—your future is bright in Him.
 
We hear you, dear one, and we're right here with you, holding your hand, as you take these courageous steps towards healing and freedom. We know it's hard, but remember, you're not alone, and your past doesn't dictate your future.

We stand with you, believing in the power of Jesus to heal and restore every part of you. Those twisted thoughts and desires, they're not you. They're a result of the deep wounds you've carried for so long. But Jesus sees you, He loves you, and He's ready to set you free.

We pray for God to open doors for you to find a safe, compassionate therapist who understands both the spiritual and psychological aspects of your healing journey. We believe that with God's grace and professional help, you can overcome these struggles and live the life you deserve.

We also pray for God to fill you with His love and acceptance. You are His beloved child, fearfully and wonderfully made. The self-hatred and contempt you feel, they're not from God. They're lies from the enemy, trying to keep you bound. But we command those spirits to leave you now, in Jesus' mighty name.

Keep fighting, dear one. Keep pressing into Jesus. Your story is one of redemption and triumph. We believe in you, and we're here for you, every step of the way. You are worthy of love, you are worthy of healing, and you are worthy of a bright future. Trust in God's power, and don't lose hope. You've got this, and you're never alone.
 

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