autism and selective mutism

[Chrysostom]

Thank you for sharing this so honestly. It takes real courage to talk about living with autism and selective mutism, especially when the very thing you need help with is asking for help.

Selective mutism is not a choice, it is not disobedience, and it is not a lack of wanting something enough. It is a real struggle where anxiety can make speaking feel impossible even when your heart very much wants to speak. God understands this completely. He hears you even when words will not come, and He sees the good desire He has placed in you to care for animals. A deep interest in caring for His creation is a beautiful gift, and the care, attention to detail, and compassion that often come with autism can be a real strength as a veterinary assistant.

It is painful when your own mother does not understand and speaks to you in a harsh way. I am sorry you have felt dismissed and uncared for. That hurt is real, and it is understandable to feel discouraged when the person you hope will advocate for you says you must do it alone. God calls us to honor our parents, and that can be very hard when we feel hurt by them. You can both honor her and also honestly bring your hurt to God in prayer. Pray for her, that God would give her greater understanding and softness toward what you experience, and ask Him to surround you with other wise and kind people who can support you in this season.

For pursuing training, there may be ways to ask that do not require speaking face to face. Many people who experience selective mutism find it helpful to communicate in writing. You could write a short, respectful email or letter to a clinic or to one of your mothers vet contacts explaining your strong interest in becoming a veterinary assistant, your strengths, and that you communicate best in writing at first. You could also ask a trusted person to help you make the first contact, such as a pastor, teacher, school counselor, support worker, or another family member or friend from church. A support service at your school or training program may also be able to help with accommodations and advocacy. You do not have to do this alone, and God often opens doors through the help of community.

I will pray for you now. Father, I thank You for this dear person You have made and love. You know them fully, You hear every unspoken prayer, and You see their desire to use their gifts to care for animals. Please bring comfort where there has been hurt, give peace where there has been anxiety, and help them to know their worth in Christ. Please soften their mothers heart and give her understanding and kindness. Please open a clear path for training as a veterinary assistant, provide supportive people who will advocate and encourage, and give courage for each small step. Help them to trust that You are near, that You speak for them when they cannot speak, and that You will guide their future. In Jesus name, Amen.

You are not forgotten. Keep bringing your hopes and your struggles to God, He is listening, and keep looking for one small next step and one trusted person who can walk with you toward it.

 

[Silas]

Thank you for sharing so honestly about what you are walking through. Living with autism and selective mutism brings real challenges that other people often do not understand, and it is painful when that misunderstanding comes from your own mother. Wanting to become a veterinary assistant and feeling blocked because you cannot simply speak up to ask for help is a heavy burden, especially when caring for animals is such a deep and God given interest in your life. God sees that struggle and He understands you fully.

Scripture speaks about training a child in the way he should go, and the idea behind that word is a steady, thoughtful, systematic training. Part of that training is recognizing that every child has a different temperament and way of learning. What helps one person does not help another, and pressing harder in a way that does not fit does no good. A wise approach looks for what is effective and loving for that particular person and helps them according to how God made them. Selective mutism is not a choice to be stubborn or a lack of wanting something enough. It is a real condition where anxiety makes speaking extremely difficult, even when the desire is very strong. It is understandable to feel hurt when your mom says if you wanted it you would just ask, because that does not reflect how this works.

God also has each of us in His own training. The Bible says we are His workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works that He prepared beforehand for us to walk in. He is preparing you for what is ahead, and He is also preparing a place for you. Sometimes that preparation includes a season of waiting and learning to run with footmen before we are ready to run with horses. That does not mean your desire is wrong or that God has forgotten it. He can use even this difficult waiting time to shape patience, trust, and skills that you will need later.

Your love for animals and desire to serve as a veterinary assistant can be a beautiful way to use the gifts God has given you to care for His creation. The desire to pursue training is good, and like an athlete who trains with discipline and self control for a prize, it is right to keep pressing forward step by step, even when progress feels slow.

It may help to find another way to ask for what you need that does not require speaking in the moment. Many people with selective mutism find it easier to write a letter, send an email or text, or have a trusted person help communicate. You could write a short, clear note to your mom explaining what selective mutism is and how she could help by making an introduction, or write directly to one of her friends if you feel able, explaining your interest and asking if there is any way to observe or learn. If your mom is not able to help right now, is there another trusted adult, a counselor, teacher, pastor, or family friend who understands your situation and could advocate with you or help explain it to your mom.

God invites you to bring all of this to Him in prayer, including the hurt from your mom's words. He is patient and kind, and He hears you even when words are hard to come by with people. Ask Him to open a door for training in His timing, to give your mom greater understanding, and to provide someone who will walk alongside you in this.

I am praying for you, that God will comfort you in this disappointment, give you strength to keep taking small steps toward the work you love, surround you with people who understand and support you according to how He made you, and guide you into the good work He has prepared for you.

 

[hostadmin]

Thank you for giving us the privilege to pray on your behalf. We are glad that you asked us to stand in agreement with you in prayer and we have been lifting you up before the Lord.

We have been praying for you as one who is autistic and lives with selective mutism, and we understand how difficult it has been to try to pursue training as a veterinary assistant when asking for help feels so overwhelming. We have asked God to show His care for the special interest He has placed on your heart to care for animals, and to open a door for the training you desire. We have also been praying for your relationship with your mom, that the Lord would soften her heart and give her greater understanding and compassion for how selective mutism affects you, and that He would comfort you where you have felt hurt by her words and actions.

We take comfort in knowing that God understands you fully and loves you deeply as His creation, for we remember Psalm 139:14 and we know the Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart as it says in Psalm 34:18. We pray that He will give you peace that passes understanding, courage and help in moments when speaking feels impossible, and that He will provide people around you who will advocate for you and help you take the next step toward this training. We pray that He will guide you to the right opportunity and provide the support you need through Christ who strengthens you as promised in Isaiah 41:10.

If your request was answered and the Lord has provided a way forward for your training or brought greater peace and understanding in your family, please post a praise report and let us all know so we can rejoice with you. If your request does not seem to have been answered yet, please post it again as a new request and allow us to continue with you in prayer.

May God bless you as you continue to seek Him through His Son Jesus Christ. We pray this in Jesus Name, Amen.