Alaska / WED - Pre-Thanksgiving!

Justbecause5

Humble Prayer Warrior
There is power in prayer (James 5:16)!

In August 2022, my job in Alaska was complete. I took my two sons and moved to Texas to start a new job and to set up our new home. My wife and daughter were going overseas to visit family.

I was 5000 miles away, my wife hired an attorney and the attorney made it seem like I stole the boys and took them across state lines. There was no mention of my job being over or tickets purchased to go overseas. The judge gave my wife permission to go get the boys and she did. It was one of the most painful days of my life.

Since then, I have prayed probably 1 million times bleeding with God to help me with depression and deep sadness and open up doors for reconciliation. I pleaded with God to take me back to Alaska, hoping that a closer proximity would lead to reconciliation.

God answered my prayer and moved me back to Alaska in late August 2024. So, I moved to Alaska with no place to live and no car to drive. The next year would be incredibly difficult. I lived in the homeless shelter 4.5 months. I lived in the back of my van for 28 nights. I lived in a roach-infested primitive basement apartment for 4.5 months, etc.

On November 20, 2024, I lost my job at the school due to no fault of my own. Later, I lost another good job after only three weeks; it was the highest paid job I’ve ever gotten. The outgoing manager was a jerk to everyone including me. I was the new manager. He also asked me to lie.

So far, there has been no sign that I can see of reconciliation. I had hoped by now God would have opened up a door or caused us to meet somewhere in a friendly way. My wife is a beautiful person inside and out for the most part but one thing she is very weak is being apologetic or simply saying I’m sorry.

I have suffered with deep and sincere depression and sadness. I miss my wife and I miss my children. It’s painful especially with the holidays. Tomorrow, is Thanksgiving. I’m the kind of husband and father that would make last-minute trips to the store to make the meal and time together extra special.

I am not a perfect man, but I would always do things to help my wife. I wanted her to know that I loved her and that I wanted her life to be easier because of me. I often pray that God will help her to remember the good things about me and the places we’ve been and the things that we did together as a couple.

The last year has been crabby, tough but I must also say I have seen the hand of God many many times. I have seen incredible sunsets and sunrises. Up here in Alaska, the sun can do extraordinary things due to its situation facing this particular state.

I love moose; it’s my favorite thing about Alaska. My first time in Alaska was nearly 4 years ago and I saw 129 moose. Since I’ve been back, I’ve seen over 50 I think. I have prayed many times that God would let me see a moose, and usually within that day or the next day, I would see one or two or three it showed me the impeccable timing of God answering prayers.

I’ve seen the northern lights in ways that I’ve never seen them before. I’ve seen caribou and porcupines and incredible vistas in mountains, etc. Alaska is a truly beautiful place to live.

I love my wife, even though she’s done horrible things to me. I don’t understand how a woman could do this to her husband. I am not only her husband, but I am her brother in Christ. I am her brother in Christ!

I have been a preacher of the gospel for nearly 30 years. Scores of people have heard the gospel because of my mouth. Scores of people have obeyed the gospel become Christians because of my efforts and God working through me (Acts 2:36-41).

Please God, let my wife remember!

I love my wife, and I stand prepared to forgive her. I am not bitter towards her. I stand prepared to forgive her for what she’s done and to never hold it against her further.

I stand prepared to love her, like Christ loved the church. God, please open the door.

I miss my children terribly. Every time, I hear a child speak, I turn and look to see if it’s him or her. I miss my children so deeply. I would rather spend time with my children, then do stuff for myself.

I lost my job on June 16. Since then, I’ve been working in the economy pretty much full-time. God has blessed me numerous times with incredible orders and opportunities in making money. It has amazed me!

For example, last night I had a $30 order that took me about 15 minutes to do. I’ve had other $52 orders and $62 orders and $91 orders that just amazed me. It seemed like God was orchestrating those opportunities to benefit me in my situation.

I am not bragging at all. I’m giving God the glory. God has allowed me to use the gig economy to make a full-time salary more money than I’ve ever made in a week. I am amazed by God in this matter.

Vehicle trouble

Working in the gig economy requires me to have a vehicle. A month ago or so, my van started having serious issues. A man appeared out of nowhere to help me. He was obviously a mechanic, and he offered his services. I thought he was from God.

He took my van and did the work and I paid him $220 or so. A few weeks later my van died and I had to leave it in the McDonald’s parking lot. Another man came to look at it and he said no work had been done on it. I was so upset that I had trusted that guy with my van.

The guy said he would work on my van. So a few days later, I had it towed to his apartment. He said he would work with me as he knew that I was making my living doing the gig work. So, I rented a car and started working again and again.

Yesterday, I finally got the parts that cost me around $400. They were very heavy and they were shipped to the wrong address. So, I had to go get them. I contacted the guy to fix my car and it’s been nearly 24 hours and he’s not contacted me back. I’m really worried he’s disappeared.

I look at everything in view of God’s providence. What is God doing in this moment? I lost my job at the school on November 20, 2024, I was doing well and I was the head coach of the basketball team, the varsity team. We were 6-1. I was upset about losing my job due to no fault of my own, but I was confident God was working.

The school had to pay my salary through the end of April 2025. I looked at that as the hand of God.

I get very sentimental about birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. Tomorrow, is Thanksgiving and I’m already very sad about it. I had so hoped that my wife would figure out a way to contact me and do something in view of the holiday every time a significant day passes by, I lose hope.

I’m asking you for prayers:

God, please reconcile my family
God, please bring my wife back to me

God, please help me to get my van fixed
God, please be with me as I do gig work

God, I’m exhausted

This morning, I was very sick with stomach issues and I did not go to work. I really need the money, but I’ve learned over the last few years to listen to one’s body. Maybe, God was encouraging me to stay home and relax and rest I have been working seven days a week twice a day.

I love God with all my heart. I feel like my love for God is stronger now than it’s ever been. I feel like my faith is stronger now than it’s ever been.

I have pleaded with God, God if you are not going to reconcile my family would you please take me far away from here and give me a really good job. So far, nothing.

It’s like every job that I try to get, like a regular job I get denied. Today, I learned I did not get the temporary job that I had interviewed for for over an hour a few weeks ago.

But I trust God….

I trust God with all my heart, 1000%. I am confident that he is doing something and working in some way that will one day be revealed.

But dear friends, I am exhausted. Depression and sadness is not fun. It’s not fun at all. It’s very painful. Sometimes I wish God would just push a reset button on my head and I could start over at age 25. I’m just so exhausted.

I have never been suicidal. However, I have pleaded with God to take me in my sleep many many times. Like Job, I have wished that I’ve never been born. I have just dealt with so much pain. I am just being honest.
 
We hear the deep sorrow in your heart, brother, and we stand with you in this season of suffering, lifting you before the throne of grace where Jesus, our High Priest, intercedes for you. Your pain is real, and your longing for reconciliation with your wife and children is a cry that God hears. We commend you for your faithfulness in prayer and your unwavering trust in the Lord, even when the path has been dark and difficult. You have clung to Him through homelessness, betrayal, job loss, and the crushing weight of loneliness—especially in these holidays that magnify your loss. Your story echoes the psalms of David, who often cried out in despair yet always returned to praise. Like David, you have seen God’s hand in the sunsets, the moose, the provision of work, and the small mercies that remind you He has not abandoned you.

We are grieved by the brokenness in your marriage, but we are encouraged by your heart of forgiveness and your desire to love your wife as Christ loves the church. Your commitment to reconciliation aligns with Scripture, which calls us to pursue peace and holiness without which no one will see the Lord (Hebrews 12:14). We pray that your wife’s heart would be softened, that the Lord would convict her of the pain she has caused, and that she would repent of her actions. It is not godly for a wife to separate from her husband without biblical grounds, nor is it right for her to withhold your children from you. The Scriptures are clear:

*"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the assembly, being himself the savior of the body. But as the assembly is subject to Christ, so let the wives also be to their husbands in everything."* (Ephesians 5:22-24)

*"Fathers, don’t provoke your children to anger, but nurture them in the Lord’s discipline and instruction."* (Ephesians 6:4)

*"But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not bound in such cases, but God has called us in peace."* (1 Corinthians 7:15)

We do not know the spiritual state of your wife’s heart, but we pray that if she has hardened herself against you, the Lord would break through that hardness. If she is walking in rebellion, we pray for conviction. If she is being deceived, we pray for her eyes to be opened. If she is struggling with unforgiveness or bitterness, we pray the Lord would replace it with a spirit of repentance. You have shown a Christlike willingness to forgive, and we pray she would respond in kind, remembering the good in your marriage and the love you have consistently shown her.

We also recognize the spiritual battle at hand. Satan delights in destroying marriages and families, and he uses deception, pride, and unrepentant hearts to do so. But greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). We rebuke the enemy’s schemes in your life and declare that God’s will for your marriage and family is restoration, not destruction. We stand on the promise that *"what God has joined together, let no man separate"* (Mark 10:9). We pray that your wife would remember the covenant she made before God and that she would turn from any sin that has led her to this place of separation.

As for your current struggles—your exhaustion, your financial needs, your van, and your grief—we lift these before the Lord as well. You have seen His provision in the gig work, and we pray He would continue to sustain you supernaturally. The fact that you have been able to earn a living through these means is a testament to His faithfulness. We pray for the mechanic who has your van, that the Lord would either prompt him to complete the work honestly or provide another way for you to have reliable transportation. We ask God to protect you from further deception and to surround you with trustworthy people who can help you in practical ways.

Your physical and emotional weariness is not lost on us. Depression is a heavy burden, and it is right to bring it before the Lord. Jesus Himself was *"a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering"* (Isaiah 53:3), and He understands your pain. We pray for supernatural strength for you, that the Lord would renew your mind and lift the heaviness from your spirit. We pray for joy to return to you, even in the waiting. The psalmist writes:

*"Why are you in despair, my soul? Why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God! For I shall still praise him for the saving help of his presence."* (Psalm 42:5)

We also want to gently remind you that while it is human to long for relief from suffering, we must be careful not to wish for death or to desire an escape that is not God’s will. Your life has purpose, and the Lord is not done writing your story. Job, in his suffering, despaired of life, but God restored him and used his story for generations. You, too, have been faithful in preaching the gospel, and your testimony—even in this trial—can bring glory to God and hope to others. We pray that the Lord would give you a fresh vision for the future, whether that includes reconciliation with your family or a new path He has prepared for you.

Finally, we want to encourage you with the truth that God is working even when you cannot see it. His timing is perfect, and His ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9). The fact that you are still standing, still trusting, still loving your wife and children, and still serving the Lord in the midst of this storm is a powerful testimony. You are not forgotten. You are not abandoned. The Lord sees your tears, hears your prayers, and is moving on your behalf.

---
**Let us pray together:**

Heavenly Father, we come before You on behalf of our brother, who is weary, heartbroken, and longing for restoration. Lord, You are the God who heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3). We ask that You would draw near to him in this hour, that he would feel Your presence in a tangible way, and that You would lift the burden of depression from his shoulders.

Lord, we pray for his wife. Softening her heart, Lord. Convict her of any sin, pride, or hardness that has led her to separate from her husband and withhold his children. Remind her of the covenant she made before You, and stir in her a desire for reconciliation. Help her to see the good in her husband, to remember the love they shared, and to turn from any path that is not aligned with Your will. If she has been deceived, open her eyes. If she has been influenced by ungodly counsel, break those influences. Bring her to repentance, Lord, and restore what the enemy has tried to destroy.

Father, we pray for his children. Comfort them in their confusion, and let them know their father’s love for them. Protect their hearts and minds, and if it is Your will, reunite this family in a way that brings glory to Your name.

Lord, we ask for Your provision in every practical area of his life. Provide trustworthy mechanics to repair his van, or provide another reliable vehicle for him. Bless the work of his hands, and continue to open doors for him to earn a living. Give him wisdom in his finances, and help him to steward well what You provide.

Father, we pray for his emotional and physical strength. You know the depth of his exhaustion and sorrow. Renew his mind, restore his joy, and give him hope for the future. Remind him that You are working even when he cannot see it, and that You have a plan for his life (Jeremiah 29:11).

We rebuke the spirit of depression, loneliness, and despair in Jesus’ name. We declare that our brother is more than a conqueror through Christ who loves him (Romans 8:37). We ask for Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, to guard his heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).

Lord, if there is any area of his life where he needs to repent or surrender more fully to You, reveal it to him. Strengthen him to walk in obedience, and let him know that You are his refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).

Finally, Father, we pray that You would give him a glimpse of Your goodness, even in this season. Let him see Your hand at work, and fill him with gratitude as he celebrates Thanksgiving, even in the midst of sorrow. Remind him that You are his Provider, his Healer, and his Redeemer.

We ask all these things in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who sits at Your right hand interceding for us. May Your will be done, and may Your kingdom come in his life and family. Amen.
 
Dear friend,

I'm sorry to hear about the struggles you're going through. It's never easy to deal with depression and sadness, especially during the holidays. I want you to know that you're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to support you.

Firstly, I want to encourage you to keep seeking God in all things. He is faithful and will never leave you or forsake you. Even in the darkest times, He is there, walking with you. Trust in Him and His perfect timing.

Secondly, I want to remind you that God loves you just the way you are. You don't need to be perfect or have everything figured out to be loved by Him. He sees your heart and knows your struggles. He is there to comfort you and give you strength.

Lastly, I want to encourage you to reach out to others. Talk to a trusted friend, a pastor, or a counselor. Sometimes, talking to someone can help unburden your heart and bring a new perspective. Remember, it's okay to ask for help.

Here are some Bible verses that I hope will encourage you:

* "Cast your cares upon the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken." - Psalm 55:22
* "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28
* "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." - Psalm 34:18
* "For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." - Isaiah 41:10

Please know that you are in my prayers. I'm here for you if you need someone to talk to.

Take care,

[Your Name]
 

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