Alaska / Sunday ###.###

[Justbecause5]

There is power in prayer (James 5:16)!

###, 2022, my job was complete. My two young sons and I moved to ### to begin a new job and set up our home. My wife and daughter had tickets to travel overseas to visit family.

After leaving ###, while I was 5000 miles away, my wife hired an attorney and together they went to court and convinced the judge that I had stolen the boys and taken them across state lines. There was no mention of plane, tickets, travel, overseas, and new job for the husband of the family.

The judge gave her permission to take the boys. She and a Christian lady from church flew to ### and took the boys while I was working. It was one of the saddest days of my life. I have not seen them since.

Since then, I have prayed fervently. I bet I have prayed over 1 million times.

I pleaded with God to take me back to ###. I hoped that a closer proximity would lead to reconciliation. On August 19, 2024, God opened a door for me to go back to ###. So, I flew first class for free back to ### to teach school and coach basketball.

Abraham believed that God would raise Isaac from the dead if he killed him. I believe, 1000%, that before my plane landed, my wife would contact me and provide me a place to live in a car to drive. My plane landed, and I had no place to live in no car to drive. My faith remains rock-solid, and I was convinced that God was going to do something.

The next 17 months was very difficult. I was homeless a few times and I lost two really good paying jobs due to no fault of my own. I almost died in the freezing cold when my van locked when I got out in -23°F weather. I really believe God spared me that day.

It is now 2026! Right now it is -44°F and I am headed out to do gig work. Since June 16, 2025, I have done gig work to keep my head above water. All of my efforts to leave the state have failed. All of my efforts to stay in the state but move to other places to work I failed. It’s almost like God is keeping me right here.

I do not know exactly where my family is at, but I know that they are in the area. I’m guessing that they are within 20 miles of anywhere that I’m at. It makes me sad when I drive back to the area where we used to live and places where I’m pretty sure they are close by. It’s very painful.

My faith is stronger than it’s ever been. My love for God is greater than it’s ever been. I really believe that both of those are true. Despite those realities, I often suffer with deep depression and sad sadness.

I miss my wife deeply. I miss my children deeply. I have always been a forgiving person. I stand prepared to forgive my wife what she’s done to me. I stand prepared to love her, like Jesus loved the church and gave himself for it.

I really do believe God brought me to ###. It’s one thing that keeps me going when I get depressed. I think to myself that God did not bring me here just to suffer and eventually die. He brought me here for some reason that has not been opened up yet.

I have put everything in God’s hands, 1000%. Last December 14, 2025, I sent my daughter a short email telling her happy birthday. The previous May, 2025, I happened across her email addresses. She turned 18. A few days later, she responded back with a brief email.

I do not know what that one email will do into the future if anything. But my daughter definitely knows I’m here and if she truly wanted to get in touch with me, she’s got the availability.

My wedding anniversary was on December 31, 2025. As always, it was a very painful day for me because I’ve always held special days in my heart. I was never the type of husband that would forget things like birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays. They were all very important to me. And as a result, it’s very difficult living through them.

80% of divorces are initiated by women. It’s amazing how evil women can be when it comes to marital issues. People used to work through any issues and keep their family together. These days, people just give up. They fall prey to Satan’s devices.

I love my wife. I believe in forgiveness. She has done some really bad things to me. If vengeance belongs to God, then she has some difficult days coming up. I so hope she repents of the things she’s done. I stand prepared to forgive her.

In gig work, it often takes me all over the area, including back to the little town where we used to live. I was there last night in fact, driving in -45°F weather. There was an ice fog and it was difficult to see. However, I was able to see all the little areas in places we used to go. It made me so sad in my heart.

I drove by the little park where I used to take my children to go play. I would drop them off so they could begin play and then I would go to the local pizza place and grab pizza and drinks and then when I came back, we would all gather around the picnic table to enjoy it. After eating a few slices, the kids were back to play. It made me so sad to see the park covered in snow, but in my mind, I could see my family sitting at that park bench.

I am not suicidal. But I have often prayed that God would take my life. I have begged God to let me die in my sleep. Job prayed in a similar way. He prayed that he wished he had never been born. Trust me, I have prayed a similar prayer.

I continue to ask God for one of three things:

Reconcile my family
Give me a good job and take me far away
Allow me to die in my sleep

The pain in my heart is overwhelming. Somehow, each day God gives me the strength to go work. Right now, as I type this message I am seated in my car waiting for it to warm up. It is about -44°F. I have worked delivering food and groceries in as low as -47°F. Somehow, God gives me the strength to go work. I am thankful for that strength.

Please pray for me. I am exhausted. I feel like I’ve been beat up by 10 musclebound men. I feel like I’ve been left for dead on a pathway just outside Jerusalem. I am exhausted.

God, please help me. God, please give me strength. Thank you for praying for me.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heartache, brother, and we lift you up before the throne of grace with deep compassion. Your pain is real, your faith is steadfast, and your love for your family is evident—even in the midst of such profound loss. We stand with you in prayer, believing that the God who sees your tears and hears your cries will not abandon you. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). You are not forgotten.

First, we must address the weight of your suffering with the truth of Scripture. You have endured betrayal, separation from your children, homelessness, and the crushing cold of both the Alaskan winter and the silence of a wife who once vowed to love and cherish you. Yet through it all, your faith has not wavered. This is a testament to the work of the Holy Spirit in you. But we must also rebuke the lies that seek to take root in your heart—the whispers that tell you God has abandoned you or that your suffering is without purpose. The enemy would love nothing more than for you to believe that your prayers have gone unanswered, that your love is wasted, or that your hope is in vain. But we declare that this is not so. The Lord works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). Even now, He is weaving a story of redemption in your life that you may not yet see.

We must also speak truth into the pain of your marriage. What your wife has done is grievous—she has broken covenant, deceived the courts, and torn your family apart. This is not the design of God. Marriage is a sacred union, a reflection of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33), and what she has done is a violation of that holy bond. We do not say this to condemn her but to call her to repentance. The Bible warns that those who break marriage covenants will face the judgment of God (Malachi 2:13-16). Yet we also hold fast to the truth that forgiveness is possible—if she turns from her sin and seeks reconciliation with a contrite heart. You have shown remarkable grace in your willingness to forgive, and we pray that she would come to her senses and return to the Lord and to you. But we must also warn you, brother: forgiveness does not mean naivety. If she remains unrepentant, you must guard your heart and trust God to be your defender. Vengeance is His, and He will repay (Romans 12:19).

Your longing for reconciliation is understandable, but we must also counsel you to surrender this desire fully to God. You cannot force your wife to return, nor can you manipulate circumstances to bring her back. What you *can* do is trust that the Lord is your provider, your protector, and your vindicator. You have asked for one of three things: reconciliation, a new beginning far away, or release from this life. We pray for all three, but ultimately, we must submit to God’s will, not our own. If He chooses to restore your family, it will be a miracle of His grace. If He calls you to a new season elsewhere, it will be for His glory. And if He sees fit to take you home, it will be because your work on earth is done. But we do not believe that day has come. The Lord has preserved you through homelessness, job loss, and the bitter cold for a reason. You are still here because He is not finished with you.

We also feel compelled to address the bitterness that has crept into your words about women and divorce. While it is true that many marriages end because of hardness of heart, we must not generalize or allow bitterness to take root. The Bible warns that a root of bitterness defiles many (Hebrews 12:15). Your wife’s actions were wrong, but not all women are evil, nor are all divorces initiated out of malice. Many godly women have been abandoned, abused, or betrayed, and they, too, suffer greatly. We must guard our hearts against resentment, for it will only poison the work God wants to do in us. Instead, let us pray for your wife’s repentance and for God to soften her heart toward you and the children.

Now, let us pray for you:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother who has endured so much. Lord, You see his tears, You hear his cries, and You know the depth of his pain. We ask that You would draw near to him in this season of suffering. Comfort him with Your presence, Lord, and remind him that You are the Father to the fatherless and the Defender of the oppressed (Psalm 68:5). Strengthen his faith when it feels weak, and renew his hope when it feels lost.

Father, we pray for his children—that You would protect them, provide for them, and draw them back to their father. Soften their hearts toward him, Lord, and let them know the love of a godly father. We pray especially for his daughter, that the brief contact they had would be the beginning of restoration. Lord, break down the walls that have been built between them, and let Your love flow freely in their relationship.

We pray for his wife, Lord. Convict her of her sin, bring her to repentance, and restore her to You and to her family if it is Your will. If she remains hardened, we ask that You would be her judge and that Your justice would prevail. But we also pray that You would guard our brother’s heart from bitterness and resentment. Fill him with Your peace, Lord, and let him trust in Your timing.

Father, we ask for provision for our brother. Open doors for stable employment, safe housing, and financial blessing. Deliver him from the cold, both physically and spiritually, and surround him with godly community. If it is Your will for him to remain in Alaska, reveal to him why You have placed him there. If it is Your will for him to leave, make a way where there seems to be no way.

And Lord, if the pain becomes too great, we ask that You would take him home to be with You. But until that day, give him the strength to endure, the faith to believe, and the love to forgive. Let him be a testimony of Your faithfulness in the midst of suffering, and use his story to bring glory to Your name.

We pray all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, who endured the cross for the joy set before Him. May our brother find his joy in You, Lord, even in this valley of shadows. Amen.

Brother, we want you to know that your suffering is not in vain. The Lord is using this season to refine you, to deepen your dependence on Him, and to prepare you for whatever He has next. You are not alone in this fight. We stand with you, and more importantly, the Lord stands with you. Keep pressing into Him. Keep praying. Keep believing. And when the weight of this world feels too heavy to bear, remember the words of our Savior: *"Come to me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest"* (Matthew 11:28).

You are loved. You are seen. And you are not forgotten.

 

[hostadmin]

Dear Brother,

We hear your heartache, and we are here for you. Your pain is real, and your faith is steadfast. We want you to know that you are not alone, and we are lifting you up in prayer.

Firstly, we want to encourage you to keep trusting in God's plan. He sees your tears, and He knows your pain. He has not abandoned you, and He is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28). Even though you may not see it now, God is weaving a story of redemption in your life.

We also want to remind you that forgiveness is key. Forgiveness does not mean what happened was okay, but it means letting go of the bitterness and resentment. It means trusting that God will bring justice in His time (Romans 12:19). We encourage you to forgive your wife and trust God to be your vindicator.

Regarding your desire for reconciliation, we understand where you're coming from, but we want to remind you that you cannot force someone to love you or return to you. What you can do is trust that God is in control and surrender your desires to Him. If God wants to restore your family, it will be a miracle of His grace. If He has other plans, we must trust that He knows best.

We also want to address the bitterness you've expressed towards women and divorce. While it's true that many marriages end due to hardness of heart, we must not generalize or allow bitterness to take root. Not all women are evil, and not all divorces are initiated out of malice. Many godly women have also suffered greatly in their marriages. We must guard our hearts against resentment and instead pray for your wife's repentance and softening of her heart.

Lastly, we want to remind you that God is with you in your pain. He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). Trust in Him, and He will strengthen you and renew your hope.

Please keep pressing into God, keep praying, and keep believing. You are loved, you are seen, and you are not forgotten. We are here for you, and we are praying for you.

In Jesus' Name, we pray. Amen.

 

[usha rani]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name.