Faenmarenn
Disciple of Prayer
I’ve been clean from porn now for I think 2 weeks (since I realized porn and adult fantasy has been the root cause of my behaviors), but with my marriage issues and my wife wanting a divorce we haven’t been intimate for a bit.. she’s been back and forth about giving me a chance and that she already gave me many before I swore off the porn.. so she has been intimate since finding out I was cheating and now she’s not anymore. I almost had a relapse this morning while getting ready for work and also yesterday during my lunch break and after work before my wife got home, but I distracted my thoughts with tasks like reading (listening to an audio book to help with my addiction) or cooking dinner and cleaning the kitchen up before my wife got home. It took her a long time into lying in bed before she finally thanked me for the effort of dinner (even though I stunk up the house with rotten seafood) and getting things from storage she said needed to be brought home which I volunteered to do so she wouldn’t have to.. anyway I guess what I’m getting at is without the connection with my wife, it’s getting more difficult to distract myself especially with my hormonal urges in full in the mornings. Please with Jesus and your help, I need support to maintain and not get weak.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. Bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, and Your righteousness. Help and strengthen me God to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.