We are deeply grieved to hear of the suffering you are enduring in your marriage, and we stand with you in the mighty name of Jesus Christ to seek God’s will in this dire situation. The abuse you describe—both verbal and physical—is a grave sin against God and against you, and it must not be tolerated or excused. Scripture is clear that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, giving Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). What your husband is doing is not love; it is the work of the enemy, and it is an affront to the holiness of marriage, which God designed to reflect His covenant with His people.
You mentioned that your husband’s behavior seems demonic, and we do not dismiss this possibility. The apostle Paul reminds us that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places (Ephesians 6:12). Drug and alcohol addiction can open doors to demonic influence, and the violence and hatred you describe are not of God but of the evil one. However, we must also recognize that your husband is responsible for his choices. While we pray for deliverance from any demonic strongholds, he must also repent of his sins and turn to Christ for true transformation.
Yet we are deeply concerned by your statement that you "need to have him come at you and abuse you." Sister, this is not God’s will for you. Nowhere in Scripture are we called to endure abuse as though it were a cross to bear for the sake of another’s salvation or deliverance. God does not require you to be a punching bag for your husband’s sin. In 1 Corinthians 7:12-16, Paul addresses believers who are married to unbelievers, and while he encourages them to remain in the marriage if the unbelieving spouse is willing, he also makes it clear that if the unbeliever leaves, the believer is not bound. While your husband is not an unbeliever (assuming he professes faith), his actions are those of someone who is not walking in obedience to Christ. You are not obligated to remain in a situation where your safety—or the safety of any children in the home—is at risk.
We urge you to take immediate steps to protect yourself. This may mean separating from your husband until he seeks genuine repentance and professional help for his addictions. Proverbs 22:3 says, "A prudent man sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it." Seeking safety is not a lack of faith; it is wisdom. We also strongly encourage you to reach out to your church leadership or a trusted, biblically grounded counselor who can provide support and guidance. If you are in immediate danger, please contact local authorities or a domestic violence hotline. You are not alone, and God has not abandoned you.
Let us also address the spiritual battle at hand. We will pray fervently for your husband’s deliverance from addiction and any demonic influence, but we must also pray for his heart to be broken by the conviction of the Holy Spirit. True change begins with repentance, and repentance is a gift from God (2 Timothy 2:25). We will ask the Lord to remove the scales from your husband’s eyes so that he may see the destruction he is causing and turn to Christ in surrender.
Finally, we want to remind you of your worth in Christ. You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and Jesus loves you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). You do not deserve to be treated this way, and God’s heart breaks for the pain you are enduring. Cling to Him, for He is your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, lifting up our sister who is suffering at the hands of her husband. Lord, You see the pain, the fear, and the brokenness she endures, and we ask You to intervene mightily in this situation. We rebuked any demonic strongholds in her husband’s life—any spirits of addiction, violence, hatred, or deception—and we command them to flee in the name of Jesus. Father, break the chains of addiction that bind him and set him free by the power of Your Holy Spirit.
But Lord, we also pray for his heart. Soften it, convict him of his sin, and draw him to true repentance. Let him see the destruction he is causing and the grief he is bringing to Your heart. Father, if he is Your child, discipline him as only You can, that he may turn from his wicked ways and seek Your face. If he does not know You, Lord, reveal Yourself to him in a way he cannot ignore. Save him, Lord, for Your glory.
Father, we ask for supernatural protection over our sister. Guard her mind, her body, and her spirit from further harm. Give her the wisdom to know what steps to take to ensure her safety and the safety of any children involved. Surround her with Your peace, which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7), and remind her that she is not alone. You are her defender, her provider, and her healer.
We also pray for her emotional and spiritual healing. Lord, restore what the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). Heal the wounds inflicted by her husband’s words and actions, and fill her with Your love and joy. Strengthen her faith, Lord, and remind her that You are working all things together for her good, even in this dark valley (Romans 8:28).
Father, we ask that You would provide godly counsel and support for her—whether through her church, a counselor, or trusted believers who can walk alongside her during this time. Give her the courage to take the necessary steps to protect herself, even if it means separating from her husband until he demonstrates true, lasting change.
We declare that no weapon formed against her will prosper (Isaiah 54:17) and that the enemy’s plans for her destruction will be thwarted. We ask for Your justice to prevail and for Your will to be done in this marriage. If it is Your will to restore this marriage, Lord, then we pray for a miracle of transformation in her husband’s life. But if it is not, we ask that You would give her the strength and clarity to move forward in a way that honors You.
We thank You, Father, that You are a God who hears the cries of the afflicted and delivers them (Psalm 34:17). We trust in Your goodness and Your sovereignty, even in the midst of this storm. May Your name be glorified in this situation, and may our sister experience Your presence in a profound way.
In the mighty and matchless name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, we pray. Amen.
Sister, we want to leave you with this encouragement: do not lose hope. God is with you, and He is fighting for you. Keep seeking Him, keep praying, and take the practical steps needed to ensure your safety. We are standing with you in prayer, and we believe that God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Trust in Him, and lean on His promises. He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6).
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. Bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding.
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