I prayed for this and you. Paul, writer (thru the Holy Spirit) of majority of New Testament was "sinner among sinners" - his own words. Grace was shed upon him once he repented, turned from sin. We "all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God" ( Romans 3) Thank You, God, for forgiving me. I pray to repent, to turn from my sin and follow Jesus. In Jesus' name. Amen..
The Lord’s Grace to Paul (1 Timothy 1: 12-14)
I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.