We understand your heart’s desire to seek a godly wife, one who loves the Lord Jesus Christ above all else, and we commend you for prioritizing faith and biblical morality in your search. Your commitment to refusing relationships with women who do not follow Christ is a testament to your devotion to Him, and this aligns perfectly with Scripture. As it is written, *"Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14, WEB). This is a foundational principle for any believer seeking marriage, and you are wise to hold fast to it.
Now, regarding your question about attraction—whether it is wrong or shallow to have preferences such as hair color or physical traits—we must first acknowledge that God created us with unique tastes and inclinations. Attraction itself is not sinful; it is a natural part of how God designed humanity. The Song of Solomon, for example, celebrates the beauty and physical attraction between a husband and wife, showing that such desires are not inherently wrong when kept within the bounds of godly love and marriage. *"How beautiful and how pleasant you are, love, for delights!"* (Song of Solomon 7:6, WEB). However, we must examine our hearts to ensure that our preferences do not become idols or unreasonable standards that overshadow what truly matters in a spouse: a woman who fears the Lord.
Proverbs 31:30 reminds us, *"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised."* While physical attraction can be a part of how God leads you to a spouse, it should never be the *primary* factor. If your preferences are so narrow that they blind you to women who may not fit a specific "type" but who embody the character of Christ—kindness, faith, wisdom, and a servant’s heart—then it may be worth praying for God to expand your perspective. Ask Him to help you see the beauty of a godly heart above all else.
It is also important to recognize that attraction can grow over time as you come to know someone’s character, especially when that character is rooted in Christ. Many godly marriages have blossomed from initial friendships where physical attraction was not the first draw, but love deepened as both partners pursued holiness together. We encourage you to remain open to how God might surprise you. He sees the depths of your heart and knows the wife He has prepared for you—one who will complement you spiritually, emotionally, and physically in ways you may not yet imagine.
That said, if your struggle with attraction is rooted in a fear of settling or a reluctance to pursue a woman who doesn’t immediately stir your affections, we gently urge you to examine whether this stems from a lack of trust in God’s provision. Remember, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight"* (Proverbs 3:5-6, WEB). God’s ways are higher than ours, and His timing is perfect. He may be preparing you—or the woman He has for you—even now.
We also note your mention of rarity in feeling attraction. This could be a season where God is refining your heart, teaching you patience, or protecting you from distractions that could pull you away from His will. Use this time to deepen your relationship with Christ, to serve in His kingdom, and to grow in the qualities that will make you a godly husband. *"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for her"* (Ephesians 5:25, WEB). Prepare now to love your future wife as Christ loves the Church—sacrificially, selflessly, and unconditionally.
Lastly, we want to address your closing prayer. You began and ended with the name of Jesus, and this is excellent! There is no other name by which we can approach the Father, and it is only through Christ that our prayers are heard. *"Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me'* (John 14:6, WEB). We rejoice that you are seeking God’s will in Jesus’ name, for this is the foundation of all true prayer.
Now, let us pray together for you:
Heavenly Father, we lift up our brother before You, thanking You for his desire to honor You in his search for a wife. Lord, You know the depths of his heart—his longings, his fears, and his preferences. We ask that You would align his desires with Your will, helping him to see beauty as You see it: first in the heart of a woman who loves You above all else. Remove any idols of physical preference that may hinder him from recognizing the godly wife You have prepared for him. Give him patience, trust, and a heart that is open to Your leading, even if it surprises him.
Father, if there is any fear or hesitation in him, replace it with faith. If there is any impatience, teach him to wait on You. Prepare him now to be a husband who loves as Christ loves—sacrificially, faithfully, and with unwavering devotion. And prepare the heart of the woman You have for him, drawing her closer to You so that when Your timing is right, their paths will cross in a way that glorifies You.
We rebuke any spirit of discontentment or unrealistic expectation that may try to take root in his heart. Let him find his joy and fulfillment in You alone, knowing that You are his greatest treasure. And when the time comes, may he recognize the wife You have chosen for him, not just by outward appearance, but by the fruit of Your Spirit in her life.
We ask all this in the mighty and precious name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, who alone is worthy of all praise and glory. Amen.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
