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In week 9 of our devotional series, we reflected on why our conduct in marriage matters. The way we choose to behave—intentionally or unintentionally—shapes the atmosphere of our home, the strength of our relationship, and even our spiritual growth as a couple.
Conduct isn’t random. It flows from our beliefs, our intentions, and our willingness to walk in obedience to God’s Word. As we shared on the podcast, the definition of “conduct” includes directing the course of and leading or guiding. Every day, through what we say and do, we are guiding the direction of our marriage—either toward unity and fruitfulness or toward frustration and disconnection.
Aaron shared how Scripture calls husbands to love their wives “as their own bodies” (Ephesians 5:28–29). Just as we naturally protect, nourish, and cherish our own bodies, husbands are called to do the same for their wives.
Being a protector is not merely physical—though that’s included. Protection is also spiritual and emotional.
Some practical ways a husband can strive to protect spiritually and emotionally include:
As we shared in the episode, secrets open doors to the enemy. First Peter 5:8 warns us to “be sober-minded and watchful,” because the enemy is actively looking for places to devour. Part of a husband’s conduct includes closing those doors.
In the Wife After God devotional, Jennifer shared the powerful testimony of a woman who prayed for her husband’s salvation for 30 years. Her respectful, pure conduct (1 Peter 3:1–2) became a living testimony that eventually softened his heart to Christ.
This is the influence a wife carries—not manipulation or control, but a stable, faithful commitment to Christ regardless of her husband’s actions.
A wife walking in godly conduct:
This kind of commitment protects the marriage itself. It keeps the relationship anchored to Christ even in seasons of hardship, disappointment, or spiritual dryness.
Everything we do—our reactions, our tone, our priorities, our spiritual disciplines—either cultivates life in our marriage or weakens it.
As we grow closer to God, we naturally grow closer to each other. And the fruit is unmistakable: trust, intimacy, unity, peace, and purpose.
This is the heart of a marriage after God.
Two definitions of conduct frame the conversation:
Physical Protection:
Emotional & Spiritual Protection:
Both spouses must ask:
Key truth:
Our conduct is the soil in which our marriage grows—good or bad.
When both spouses walk in Spirit-led conduct, marriages become:
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In week 9 of our devotional series, we reflected on why our conduct in marriage matters. The way we choose to behave—intentionally or unintentionally—shapes the atmosphere of our home, the strength of our relationship, and even our spiritual growth as a couple.
Conduct isn’t random. It flows from our beliefs, our intentions, and our willingness to walk in obedience to God’s Word. As we shared on the podcast, the definition of “conduct” includes directing the course of and leading or guiding. Every day, through what we say and do, we are guiding the direction of our marriage—either toward unity and fruitfulness or toward frustration and disconnection.
A Husband’s Conduct: Walking as a Protector
Aaron shared how Scripture calls husbands to love their wives “as their own bodies” (Ephesians 5:28–29). Just as we naturally protect, nourish, and cherish our own bodies, husbands are called to do the same for their wives.
Being a protector is not merely physical—though that’s included. Protection is also spiritual and emotional.
Some practical ways a husband can strive to protect spiritually and emotionally include:
- Staying rooted in the Word
- Maintaining integrity and avoiding secret sin
- Being gentle and soft-spoken when their wife needs emotional support
- Guarding what is allowed into your home—media, influences, relationships
- Ensuring there are no hidden areas of life that undermine trust
As we shared in the episode, secrets open doors to the enemy. First Peter 5:8 warns us to “be sober-minded and watchful,” because the enemy is actively looking for places to devour. Part of a husband’s conduct includes closing those doors.
A Wife’s Conduct: A Quiet Strength That Influences
In the Wife After God devotional, Jennifer shared the powerful testimony of a woman who prayed for her husband’s salvation for 30 years. Her respectful, pure conduct (1 Peter 3:1–2) became a living testimony that eventually softened his heart to Christ.
This is the influence a wife carries—not manipulation or control, but a stable, faithful commitment to Christ regardless of her husband’s actions.
A wife walking in godly conduct:
- Prays diligently for her husband
- Encourages him toward the Lord
- Responds with kindness and respect
- Perseveres in doing good, even when it’s hard (Galatians 6:9)
This kind of commitment protects the marriage itself. It keeps the relationship anchored to Christ even in seasons of hardship, disappointment, or spiritual dryness.
Our Conduct Shapes Fruitfulness
Everything we do—our reactions, our tone, our priorities, our spiritual disciplines—either cultivates life in our marriage or weakens it.
As we grow closer to God, we naturally grow closer to each other. And the fruit is unmistakable: trust, intimacy, unity, peace, and purpose.
This is the heart of a marriage after God.
Episode Summary
1. Introduction to Week 9
- This episode draws from Husband After God and Wife After God, focusing on how personal conduct shapes the health, unity, and spiritual direction of a marriage.
- Key theme: Our conduct is rooted in what we believe and directly impacts the atmosphere of our home and the spiritual life of our spouse.
2. What “Conduct” Really Means
Two definitions of conduct frame the conversation:
- “To direct the course of; manage or control” – Our choices and behaviors actively direct the course of our marriage.
- “To lead or guide” – Our conduct influences our spouse and children through example.
Emphasis: Every spouse is always leading—either intentionally or passively.
3. The Husband’s Conduct: Protector of the Home
3.1 The Biblical Call to Protection
- Ephesians 5:28–29 — Husbands are commanded to love their wives as their own bodies.
- Husbands naturally pursue self-preservation; Scripture calls them to extend that same intentional care toward their wives.
3.2 Types of Protection
Physical Protection:
- Recognizing the husband’s historic and God-designed role to guard the home.
- Being alert, aware, and capable of protecting one’s family.
Emotional & Spiritual Protection:
- Practicing gentleness, understanding, and good communication.
- Being steadfast in the Word and in prayer so the home is spiritually guarded.
- Making choices that build trust (purity, integrity, transparency).
3.3 The Importance of Transparency
- Hidden accounts, secret habits, or concealed relationships open spiritual doors for harm.
- True protection includes giving your spouse access and eliminating secrecy.
- 1 Peter 5:8 — The enemy prowls; protection means closing every vulnerable gap.
4. The Wife’s Conduct: Influence Through Respect, Purity, and Prayer
4.1 A Wife’s Transformational Influence
- The Wife After God devotional shares a testimony of a woman who prayed 30 years for her husband and witnessed his salvation at the end of his life.
- Her faithful, prayerful conduct led to spiritual impact even when results were unseen for decades.
4.2 Biblical Instruction for Wives
- 1 Peter 3:1–2 — A husband may be won “without a word” by a wife’s respectful and pure conduct.
4.3 What a “Good Wife” According to Scripture Looks Like
- Committed to Christ first.
- Respectful, kind, supportive, prayerful.
- Faithful regardless of a husband’s temporary shortcomings.
- Galatians 6:9 — Do not grow weary of doing good; faithfulness produces fruit in due season.
5. Conduct That Builds (or Breaks) a Marriage
Both spouses must ask:
- Are my actions building intimacy, trust, and unity—or tearing them down?
- Do my daily habits reflect obedience to Christ?
- Am I protecting my spouse emotionally, spiritually, and relationally?
- Do I prioritize my spouse’s well-being above my own preferences?
Key truth:
Our conduct is the soil in which our marriage grows—good or bad.
6. Fruit of a Marriage After God
When both spouses walk in Spirit-led conduct, marriages become:
- Salt and light in the world
- Faithful, loving, mature
- Ripe with good fruit
- Unified in their desire to grow closer to God and each other
(Marriage After God quote)
7. Discussion Questions for Couples
- What motivates you to treat your spouse with goodness?
- In what ways can you become a better protector (husbands) or a better encourager (wives) today?
- Are there hidden areas of your life you haven’t given your spouse access to? Why?
- Is there an issue that requires a boundary or honest conversation right now?
- What is one practical way you can put your spouse’s needs above your own today?
8. Weekly Call to Action
- Expose any area of your life your spouse doesn’t have access to.
- Find a tangible way to elevate your spouse’s needs above your own today.
Both actions cultivate trust and reinforce the unity God desires for marriage.
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